LessWrong posts by zvi

“Dating Roundup #8: Tactics” by Zvi


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Here's to everyone having a great 2026 in all ways, so I figured what better way to end the year than with a little practical advice. Like everything else, dating is a skill. Practice makes perfect. It helps to combine it with outside analysis, to help you on your quest to Just Do Things.

You’re Single Because You Lack Reps

A common theme in these roundups is that the best thing you can do as a young man, to get better at dating and set yourself up for success, is to get out there and engage in deliberate practice.

Cartoons Hate Her: Today I wrote about some of the worst dating advice that young men get. Namely, the advice to delay dating or relationships until they’ve “built themselves,” usually into their 30s.

Getting dating experience- even when it clearly doesn’t matter- builds social skills and confidence. It's not something you want to deliberately defer. Dating *is* working on yourself.

Zac Hill: Hard true and also generally applicable. Niko Canner told me a variant of this when I was about to work at Bridgewater to ‘acquire skills’:

“what job are you acquiring skills for?”

[...]

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Outline:

(00:30) You're Single Because You Lack Reps

(03:00) You're Single And Didn't Even Shoot Your Shot

(04:34) You're Single Because You Didn't Ask To Hold Her Hand

(07:56) You're Single Because You're Afraid People Will Mock You Online

(13:19) You're Single Because You Didn't Confirm Your Date

(19:06) You're Single Because You Didn't Have Your Big Moment At The Prom

(20:51) You're Single Because Board Games Came Between You

(22:26) You're Single Because You Can't Dance

(23:11) You're Single And Should Try Punching

(24:03) You're Single Because You Don't Send Out Receptive Energy

(25:55) You're Single Because You're A Depressed Comedian

(26:46) You're Single Because You Didn't Hand It To Her

(27:28) You're Single And Need The Right Reward Function

(28:11) You're Single So Focus On The Basics

(29:48) You're Not Single Anymore

(31:11) You're Single Because You Don't Just Do Things

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First published:

December 29th, 2025

Source:

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/fvFgpvyKwRKqjtfiz/dating-roundup-8-tactics

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

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