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"Defense is the first act of war."

Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that goes against the purpose of marriage, which is personal growth. It is non-accountability, anti-growth, and unrepentant. Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predicts divorce. Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth. The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback. By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.

Takeaways

• Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that hinders personal growth in relationships.
• Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predict divorce.
• Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth.
• The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback.
• By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.

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