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By Sharla and Robert Snow
5
110110 ratings
The podcast currently has 88 episodes available.
In this episode, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences our reactions during relationship conflicts. We discuss the importance of self-confrontation and self-reflection as foundational elements for intimacy.
The conversation delves into the impact of past traumas on present behaviors, the necessity of recognizing when the adaptive child takes over, and strategies for shifting back to the wise adult. Techniques for self-regulation and the role of journaling in personal growth are also highlighted, providing listeners with actionable insights to improve their relationships.
Takeaways:
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
In this conversation, we delve into the detrimental effects of indecision in relationships, particularly in marriage. It explores how anxiety and the pursuit of perfection can lead to paralysis in decision-making, ultimately impacting personal and relational growth. We emphasize the importance of recognizing the finite nature of human existence, the fear of regret that underlies indecision, and the necessity of taking action after making choices. We advocate for embracing mistakes as part of the learning process and highlight the significance of agency and responsibility in navigating life's decisions.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
"Withdrawal can slowly destroy connection."
In this episode, we discuss the concept of withdrawal in relationships, exploring how it manifests and the dangers it poses to emotional connection. We delve into the difference between withdrawal and mature acceptance, emphasizing the importance of communication and responsible distance-taking. The conversation highlights the detrimental effects of apathy and isolation and concludes with strategies for couples to recognize and address their own losing strategies in relationships.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
"Defense is the first act of war."
Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that goes against the purpose of marriage, which is personal growth. It is non-accountability, anti-growth, and unrepentant. Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predicts divorce. Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth. The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback. By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
Is sacrifice no longer a virtue?
In this episode, we discuss the concept of resentful accommodation in marriage. We explore the idea that sacrifice is often seen as a virtue in relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship. What's the difference between virtuous sacrifice, which benefits everyone involved, and unvirtuous sacrifice, which is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval?
We share personal examples of resentful accommodation in our own marriage and discuss the costs and consequences of this losing strategy. Open communication and mutual decision-making in healthy sacrifice are key!
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
"Retaliation is trying to cause the same emotion in the other person that you're feeling."
In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of retaliation and punishment in relationships. We explore the different forms of retaliation, including direct and indirect, and how it can harm the connection between partners. We know the importance of recognizing and confronting the urge to retaliate, as it often stems from feeling justified and victimized. We encourage listeners to commit to non-violent and non-retaliatory behaviors in their relationships and provide journaling questions for self-reflection.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
"Contempt is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships."
In this episode of the Master Your Marriage podcast, we discuss destructive pattern number three: unbridled expression. We explore the negative impact of expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, and how it can lead to hurtful and damaging behavior in relationships. We also delve into the concept of contempt as a form of unbridled expression, highlighting its corrosive effects on a marriage. The episode concludes with journaling prompts and suggestions for overcoming unbridled expression.
Takeaways
"Control isn't real. It's an illusion... Each of us has this fundamental need for autonomy."
In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of controlling others in relationships. Controlling behavior is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities. They provide examples of overt and covert control tactics, such as criticism, blame, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. The hosts emphasize that control is an illusion and that it damages trust, intimacy, and autonomy in relationships. They encourage self-reflection and open communication with partners to address and overcome controlling behaviors.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the destructive pattern of needing to be right in relationships. They explain that this pattern can lead to disconnection and alienation from others. The hosts explore how the need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective, acting morally superior, and convincing oneself that it's for the greater good.
We emphasize the importance of looking within and examining our own behaviors, as well as the need to let go of the ego's desire to be right. The episode ends with reflection questions for listeners to consider.
Takeaways:
The need to be right can lead to disconnection and alienation in relationships.
The need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective and acting morally superior.
It's important to look within and examine our own behaviors, as well as let go of the ego's desire to be right.
Curiosity and equal dialogue are more important than the need to be right in relationships.
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The quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfaction. Happiness in marriage is not about luck or finding a soulmate, but about seeking wisdom and personal growth. Marriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturity. Psychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our values. As children, we borrow our sense of self from our parents, but as adults, we need to grow ourselves up. Immaturity in relationships leads to control or feeling controlled. People-pleasers seek validation, while controllers seek power. Change requires a fruitful reason, truthfulness, and accountability.
Takeaways
Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision
💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en
The podcast currently has 88 episodes available.
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