Delight Your Marriage

As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey.

Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good.

He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program.

He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others.

But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :)

Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership.

Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it.

He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say.

I hope his story encourages you.

Love,

Belah

PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Delighted Wife Grad Quote:

Before DW: "We had a home full of animosity. Chaos. Yelling and fighting. We were not intimate."

After DW: "This program has truly changed my marriage forever! This has empowered me to forgive, put my trust in Jesus, and to bring my marriage to the place I never thought possible. I started this program broken and in utter despair. The sadness and the defeat was a physical pain. That weight has been lifted off of me. We still have things to work on, but so thankful for the tools and hope to keep on pursuing toward the marriage I dreamt of!"

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it."

Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it.

Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to.

That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program.

Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around.

Things turned around... REALLY beautifully.

I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow.

Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim.

It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it.

May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you're suffering and crying on a friend's shoulder... you just never know what God might do.

We invite you to take the next step and schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Kim's entire marriage turned around because a friend had the courage to point her to a podcast. What if YOU are meant to be that friend to someone else?

I invite you to forward this to someone who may need hope... hope that God still transforms marriages and families.

Recent wife grad quote:

"Belah has done the most important thing for me which is change the negative beliefs that I have had concerning my marriage and helped me to see from a renewed perspective which has forever impacted my marriage! Both my husband and I am grateful for what this program has done for us.

I have attended many marriage seminars and trainings throughout my marriage and this is by far the best investment I have ever made."

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible.

As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most.

And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever.

Is healing possible?

What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse?

(Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.)

Can a husband do anything?

I believe Bill's story can give you hope.

He would say, "Yes."

From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage.

He has 43 years under his belt.

He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle

...until Delight Your Marriage.

He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)...

from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers ...we're so in love!"

His wife sent me an email after she heard his interview and she confirmed what he said and shared her sentiments as well. I read that on the podcast as well.

May you be encouraged for yourself or others!

(I encourage you to share this with someone who may need exactly this hope and encouragement!)

Love,

Belah

PS - You're ready to witness God's transformation like Bill? It's as easy as a phone call to a friend, her name is Dana, and she's our Clarity Advisor. :) delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Sign up for a free Clarity Call to help you sort through the hard and gain insight on next steps... possibly with us to have a transformation like Bill's!

PPS - This episode made my husband cry... that doesn't happen often. I hope it is healing to your heart like it was to his.

Quote from a program grad:

"I would recommend this program to any husband who feels trapped like I did when I first reached out to Belah. I came into this program looking for someone to 'straighten out my wife.' Truth be told, I needed more help then she did. Belah challenged the narrative in my head. She pushed me to be vulnerable and soft and patient - all things that run counter to our culture. It was not always easy. In fact, it was often very uncomfortable and felt silly. But once I realized it wasn't about me and I committed wholeheartedly, I saw my wife begin to change before my eyes. The changes I made in MYSELF changed my wife. It wasn't always easy and it required more patience than I sometimes had, but in the end it was worth it. Every aspect of my relationship with my wife has improved and that was more than I bargained for. I have a greater understanding of who my wife is and why she is so special to both God and myself. Belah didn't fix my marriage - she did something better. She gave me the tools and the guidance to fix it myself, with God's help. This allows me to continually work on it, improve it, and cherish it after my time [in Delight Your Marriage] is over and for that I will always be thankful."

Clarity is crucial in a marriage because it allows individuals to gain self-awareness, understand their own emotions and behaviors, and without even realizing it, it can help you take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics. Maybe you didn't "cause it" but you haven't worked to solve it.

When couples face challenges or conflicts, it's easy to blame each other or external factors without examining what is really going on under the surface of the behaviors. A Clarity Call encourages an individual to look carefully at themselves, their patterns, history, and reflect on their thoughts, feelings, actions, and current situation.

Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

By engaging in a Clarity Call, individuals can identify their own patterns and unresolved issues that may be impacting the relationship. It helps them recognize their own biases, insecurities, woundedness, and areas for personal growth. Through a Clarity Call, individuals can better understand how their own behaviors and reactions may influence the dynamics within the marriage.

Believe it or not, a Clarity Call can also foster empathy and compassion. When Dana speaks with an individual -- they take the time to understand their own experiences, process them, and become more attuned to their partner's emotions and perspectives.

This increased awareness enables them to approach conflicts with empathy, communicate more effectively, and find solutions that meet both partners' needs.

This is why the individuals on today's call said this:

• "After that call, everything that I went through, it was just like, all the pieces of a major puzzle being put together."

• "You make it very easy. You make it our lives are in chaos and you guys just speak peace right into that situation and calm it down to where we can unload what we need to unload."

• "It was a great experience something I'll never forget because it was a great moment that I'll hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life."

Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I'd like to share Kevin's story, mostly in his own words.

As always, there is a huge message of hope and transformation available in this story, so I hope you'll listen in!

After 28 years of marriage, feeling like roommates, Kevin said "I felt helpless" and "very isolated, very alone" in the struggles he experienced.

As a very successful (and busy!) IT exec overseeing teams in India, UK, France, and elsewhere, and really being able to figure out most things on his own...

It was confusing to not be able to figure out marriage in the same way. And it was painful to hear his wife caring more about something like Diet Coke than him. Logically, he knew it wasn't true but it sure felt like it at times.

He listened to the DYM transformation stories (like this one!). And they sounded too good to be true.

But he kept hearing parts of his story over and over again through other people's DYM interviews.

He thoroughly checked into the DYM work and dived into the podcasts.

Of the work, he said, "the more and more I listened, the more I found and heard the biblical basis of everything and heard the logic."

Then, he took courage and had the Clarity Call which he said "the Clarity Call was exactly what it says: it was very clarifying."

Once in, of the program: "It was very incremental, very linear, and based in a way where it clicks, where it makes sense."

"The feedback loop, the accountability, the camaraderie of all the other gentlemen going through the program, that environment is an extra dimension of learning that I think is important, if not key to success."

"It pours all the ingredients together to make things work."

"I talked about things I have never talked about with anybody in my whole life during that part of the program."

Through the Delight Your Marriage program, Kevin experienced an improvement in his marriage and a greater sense of fulfillment and walk with God.

We would love to take the next step with you too. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

(And who knows, maybe just like Kevin, you'll be our next transformation story who initially thought it was "too good to be true"!)

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS -- If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now so you can get clear on the aspects to improve, fill out the Marital Health Assessment for a free evaluation of your marriage health so you can take steps to make it even better! delightyourmarriage.com/health

PPS -- Take action now and sign up for the Clarity Call. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

I am grateful so many men share their unfiltered hearts with me.

It is an honor and a privilege.

I find that many men feel extremely misunderstood. And they have numbed their pain just to "get through".

The problem with numbing is we don't see the people right in front of us and the pain they are experiencing.

What I see so frequently is men who are desperately trying to be the men God designed them to be, but are frustrated with the lack of respect in their marriages.

I want to help you understand...

1 - that your feelings here are valid and even God-designed

2 - there is a productive way to handle this gap

(Spoiler alert: it starts on the inside of you.)

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS --

Are you curious about the overall health of your marriage? Respect is a big piece and when it's missing, it impacts the emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy of a marriage.

Discover the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with our free online Marital Health Assessment delightyourmarriage.com/health

When you do, we'll send you some free resources and recommendations based on your specific situation and needs.

Fill out the free Marital Health Assessment now. delightyourmarriage.com/health

Graduate Quote:

"It's changed it completely, our home environment is filled with tenderness, compassion, love and respect."

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon.

Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown.

Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof.

The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored.

Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers.

But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try.

Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too.

("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.)

She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now.

The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life.

God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation!

We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them.

If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too.

There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable --

But take it from Joyce...

It is worth it.

Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage).

Love,

Belah

PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse.

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process.

Quote from a course graduate:

"The things that I've learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn't even want to talk to me, much less make love to me. Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage.

Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives.

Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being.

But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary."

Through the Delighted Wife program, Jenny discovered the importance of immersing herself in the Word of God, prayer, and worship. These foundational habits reignited her passion for the Lord, restoring her joy for her children, and enabling her to share the Gospel with others.

One significant change in Jenny's transformation was her renewed desire for intimacy in her marriage.

As she developed a deeper understanding of how women and men were designed, thanks to participation in the program, Jenny felt more comfortable expressing her needs to him.

By cultivating new habits and taking small steps, Jenny found her way back to a more fulfilling and vibrant spiritual life.

She shares her story as an example of how investing in one's marriage, time with God, and meditating on the Word of God can lead to profound transformation. If you're longing for a more joyful, intimate, and fulfilling marriage, Jenny's story is sure to inspire you.

To hear Jenny's full story and learn more about her transformation journey, listen to the complete interview on this episode.

If you're ready to take the next step in your own marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and discover how Delight Your Marriage can help you experience a delightful and intimate marriage like never before.

Remember, your marriage is a precious gift that deserves your investment and attention.

Don't miss out on the incredible transformation possible when you prioritize your relationship and embrace personal growth.

Love,

Delight Your Marriage team

PS - Ready to experience a delightful and intimate marriage? Take the next step towards transforming your relationship by signing up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc today.

Discover how Delight Your Marriage can empower you to cultivate a deep and fulfilling connection with your spouse.

Quote from a program grad:

"If you're committed to the program and make it a priority, you can be truly successful! Bella has changed our marriage in a really special way."

Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!)

Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated!

I have a wonderful mom.

She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt.

As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all.

Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility.

Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...?

Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids?

Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed...

...ehemm...

"actions with procreative potential"...

which (happily) resulted in a child?

I would submit the answer is "yes."

I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values.

Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you.

The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her.

What does this have to do with wives?

In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it.

And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it.

If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect.

I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings.

Feelings are not my guide.

Jesus is.

How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me?

The Bible.

Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible?

No.

If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this...

Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos

Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips

Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs.

At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King,"

but in real life: "my Feelings rule".

(These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.)

We all need to live by our values from the Bible.

The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy.

It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament!

I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom.

I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife.

This is not following the world's definition of happiness.

It is true happiness.

This is in God's will.

This is following Jesus.

Happy Mother's Day!

I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom.

I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife.

You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :)

Bravo & thank you!

The precious souls in your care, thank you!

Love,

Belah

PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope:

Before the program challenges were:

"low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image"

After the program:

"I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!"

Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This title was hard to come up with.

Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed.

Jesus was the servant of all.

He came to serve not to be served.

He was the most humble and meek.

And yet, Jesus set boundaries.

A lot.

Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again.

Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people

In Mark 1:35-39,

• Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you."

In Matthew 16:21-23,

• Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him.

• Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance.

In Luke 14:25-33,

• Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions.

• If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him.

In John 2:13-17,

• Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace.

• He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary.

Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries.

So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries?

What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God?

Sexual boundaries?

Disrespect boundaries?

Other boundaries?

Should you set boundaries with yourself?

Should you set boundareis with your spouse?

If so, how?

Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary?

This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through.

I don't think I have it all right.

This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you.

And what your next steps are.

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com

PPS - Quote from a program graduate: "I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex.

My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate."