Delight Your Marriage

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage.

Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become.

Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money."

And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased.

It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed.

Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage?

We're here for that...we're a safe place to gently open up that really private, hurting space...or that struggle that you don't dare to share with anyone in your life.

We want your heart to be healed. We want to help you break free from the chains that hold you back. We want to breathe life into your weariness, hope into your despair, and help you be the man or woman of God that you long to be in your marriage and family...and ministry.

There is hope! We invite you to fresh faith and to follow even closer to the One who is THE way, THE truth, and THE life.

We'd love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our program would be a good fit for you.

Blessings,

Darcy (on Belah's behalf)

PS - The Pre-Dating workbook is finally here! If you've been blessed (like David -- who said he already bought 6! and plans to buy more!) by the content from Delight Your Marriage over the years and want to see young people get these tools before they ever get married, get your copy now! https://amzn.to/3NhF8DL

Our interview is about how to get a young person to read/do this workbook that could set them up for a successful dating and married life!

---

WOW! I am honored and grateful! My goodness.

So, the story goes... yesterday morning Amazon told me that it might be 3 days before the workbook could be live...

Pre-Dating Workbook: What you need to know and do before you start dating (and definitely during)

Biblical guidance from a marriage trainer and coach

https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

Eeek!

Of course, we've all been counting down the days and the launch day was Friday.

So yesterday (Thursday) I sent an ask to my list that they would pray that it would in fact be live on Friday.

And guess what posted late on Thursday.

By the time I saw it, somehow some clients had picked it up and already had purchased AND already had REVIEWED!!!

So, today BEFORE we even told our email list that it was live, it has been named #1 New Release for Christian Youth Ministry!!!!

WOW!

THANK YOU if you have already purchased! If not, here's the link!

https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

Brett is fantastic! Firstly, many men have a similar past that we work with but don't share it openly. I really appreciate Brett's boldness to share and it encourages so many others!

That yes, even for your history, there IS HOPE!

My favorite quotes:

• "Now, I can't wait to go home at night."

• "[I have] closer friendships in MR than what I have in everyday life...It's unexplainable how you feel when you've got guys or brothers reaching out to you."

• "The biggest thing is my relationship with Lord has grown."

His marriage is transforming, healing, and trusting again -- his friendships are deep and encouraging, and as a father, he's influencing his kids for the Lord.

(His wife is really liking the changes -- but he hasn't yet shared that he did the program.)

His relationship with the Lord is thriving like never before!

It's amazing to see what God has done! I hope you will feel encouraged too!

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you'd like help like Brett, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - We're very soon to launch our Pre-Dating Video Course & Workbook - What you need to know & do before you start dating (but definitely during).

Keep an eye on your inbox!

You are teaching them.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, they're observing you and figuring out whether you have something they want.

Do they want the marriage you have?

Is marriage worth it?

Do you have guidance that would actually give them the result they want?

If you've been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you know we are passionate about helping marriages get better, SO THAT they can do God's will better in the world.

But what if your marriage was set up with the right framework, role modeling, and good habits BEFORE you even started your dating relationship?

Since we started teaching marriage, we have always been told that they WISHED they knew this before ever getting married.

And it's so true.

So many people didn't start out with the tools.

They've never even seen a good marriage!

But your son or daughter could get a leg up.

They could get started on the spouse pursuit journey by having not only a great example (you!) but also the tools clearly articulated for them.

What if your son or daughter knew how to find and attract the right partner to help you fulfill your God-given purposes?

In our climate that may seem like a tall order!

You are teaching your kids whether you like it or not.

They learn that you have nothing helpful for them, or they learn that you can give them the tools and insights they need to thrive in their most important human relationship!

With all of our work with men and women, we have seen it done well and done very poorly many times.

And it is the right time for us to help this next generation START their marriage pursuit well. Ultimately we want them to find, marry, and sustain a wonderful marriage built upon biblical wisdom SO THAT they can do God's will in the earth.

Today's podcast is about how you can help the next generation.

We'd like your help as we're finalizing a pre-dating resource! If you'd like to offer your wisdom and experience and suggestions, we'd really appreciate your input! Partner with us by filling out this survey How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Seriously, I want to know what you think! We're finalizing pre-dating resources now – get in on this!

Survey: How to help the next generation get and stay married?

delightyourmarriage.com/dating

PPS - If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

A recent grad: BEFORE: "Prior to doing MR I often felt alone and that my sexual desire was a problem. I felt my wife often intentionally withheld intimacy from me. It was difficult to discuss because my wife felt I was blaming her and she wasn't enough." AFTER: "Understanding my wife better. Learning Health ways of responding. More and deeper sexual intimacy. More freedom and playfulness The learning and growth has meant I can focus on God better which enables me to be a better version of myself. This has enabled me to focus more on others." If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

When the crisis occurs outside of your home, if it's not peaceful and healed in your marriage, it becomes an additional stress instead of support in a horrible time.

I am not sure if you've lived through war – literally – but if so, you'll relate to Alex. I'll share more about him in a second.

Every member of our DYM team witnessed life transformation in their own marriages (first) and then God seemed to give us a need for a position right as He gave us the person who fits that need.

But with our need for a tech and automations specialist, the expertise was so specific that it was important we go for someone who is foremost extremely good in their specialized field, as we can't risk the infrastructure of the organization to not work correctly.

That's when, last April we hired Alex as our tech and automations consultant. He has amazing experience in the field, with our specific systems, and has worked with hundreds of clients, some businesses making millions per year and one even $50M per year.

It was such a relief to hire him. Purely on a professional level, he has been amazing to work with – hardworking, proactive, humble, responsible, and (shockingly) positive.

But he was living through war.

Literally.

His home is the capital city of Kyiv, Ukraine, which was attacked last February. Since, he has endured this horror at his doorstep.

Eventually, he and his wife were able to escape to Spain but after a couple of months, they returned to Ukraine to help with generators and getting food and clothing to orphans suffering the bitter winter.

As a member of the team – he was the only one who hadn't gone through the program. But unlike anyone who has ever been a candidate for the program, he had seen the full backend. How we handle data, how we set up the program, the many transformation stories and really getting to know our team personally.

He also had an opportunity to decide is now a good time to focus on his marriage and take the Masculinity Reclaimed program.

During war.

He decided...

Yes, it was.

And his encouragement to you is

"don't postpone it...

as it won't only affect your marriage but it will have a positive effect on your entire life."

All in all, there is hope. Even if you're struggling and the battle rages not only outside your home but inside. It is worth it to get your marriage better so you can withstand the difficulties and even literal wars in this life. We would love to help you.

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Sign up for a free clarity Call to find out if you're the right candidate to witness the transformation as well: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Another recent grad wrote:

"I want to reiterate my appreciation of the whole DYM process: from Dana's Clarity Call, Darcy's logistic support, Bob and Russ's guidance, the shared vulnerability and support of the other men, and Belah's profound wisdom through divine inspiration.

I would really recommend this program to all married men. There is so much wisdom and depth to this program that can be applied to intermarital problems that seem almost universal.

I wish I had this coaching and information 30 years ago."

Are you exhausted from the fight? The struggle? The resist and then fail? Then try, then fail, then good, then fail, then try again, then fail...

Maybe you have a few good days, weeks even months...

But it's lurking in the background.

Waiting to take you down again. And who knows how long you'll be down this time. Maybe it'll be just this once... maybe you'll be down forever.

Maybe you'll never get back out.

Maybe you'll never be the man God has called you to be. Truly.

Maybe you'll squander the life He gave you...

And no one knows. And the ones that do, don't understand.

Men.

I honor you.

In your suffering.

I hear you.

I hear you.

I hear you.

You are not alone.

And there is hope.

And there is a way out.

It's Good Friday tomorrow. And you know the story. And you know the ending. And you know what happens. And you sing the songs. And you attend the service. And you have heard it all -- maybe you even conduct the service. And you know the stuff -- maybe you've memorized it. You teach it to others. And you believe it. And you're even grateful.

Good.

That's really good.

Really good.

And I want to invite you...

There is a way out of your prison of shame.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Seriously. There is a way out.

So... a serious ex-military gent (on his way to becoming a drill sergeant) decided it was time to fix his marriage.

Then as a business leader and a leader in the church, people would come to him for marriage advice. Their connection looked good on the outside, but sadly it was lonely.

When he started the program, he began to realize maybe he should stop giving marriage advice.

He shares in his story how hard, but necessary it was to become humble.

Which as, Andrew Murray says, is the chief sin -- all others flow from it.

Murray goes on to say, if you think you don't struggle with pride, sadly, you do more than those who are at least aware of it.

We all have to fight against pride.

Steve decided to take on that challenge. (Maybe his military background helped?)

And he decided to listen and deeply consider if his heart, perceptions, and approach have been wrong in his marriage.

He not only became humble, but he also became teachable and asked the Lord to change him from the inside. And that caused him to lead as God designed.

Well, God is faithful... and did that.

And when we seek first His Kingdom -- it's possible He changes things in our world as well (not guaranteed... but what IS guaranteed is we will see eternal riches though!)

Steve ended up being so grateful for what God did through the Masculinity Reclaimed program.

Before, he admitted that he would feel jealous of his own children because his wife gave them so much attention, affection, and pursuit and he was left with less than crumbs.

Now, things have shifted SO much that she pursues him!

And he LOVES being around his kids now. He said he feels he is the father they need.

He said this program has ultimately changed the trajectory of all 5 of their lives because it has changed their father and the home they grow up in.

It's a story in which you'll be inspired and challenged and encouraged. If God can do it for Steve, He really can do it for you.

(And Steve's wife didn't do the work... in fact, she didn't even know he took the program! Seriously, it can happen for you too. Have hope. God does miracles still!)

Blessings,

Belah

PS - The only way to get into this program is through a selection process called a Clarity Call. It is free, however, it takes a lot from our team and is a true gift to the one who signs up.

If you are ready like Steve was, make the call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

We work with wives in a separate program and God does amazing things there too!

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

---

A different, recent graduate wrote:

BEFORE the DYM program:

I didn't enjoy time with her, intimacy was not passionate, physical touch was lacking, we didn't have a connection anymore besides being parents to the same kids.

Every day was a struggle, and I often avoided my wife because I wanted to protect myself from attacks

AFTER the DYM program:

I have rediscovered joy! I am the leader of the home, in terms of mood, spiritual life, finances, relationships, everything. And by leading my house, my wife will become the partner I need and the woman she was created to be.

I've become the man my wife trusts, someone she can talk to openly and at length. We enjoy each other's company again & look forward to spending time together. Physical intimacy is no longer a chore, but a way to connect in addition to frequent non-sexual touch.

This program is so incredible, it has changed the trajectory of my household forever. "

(Wife didn't know he did the program).

Let's see if we can help YOU just like this! Sign up now, it's worth it: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

"Unbelievable." (ie: There's no way that's true.)

That's how he felt when he heard the transformation stories.

He was in a place of desperation.

Being in the marriage felt like a chore.

But that glimmer of hope that kept him listening to the transformation stories made him wonder if he should take the leap of faith and schedule the free Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc )

Well, he did.

His wife didn't know.

We don't make these stories up. Maybe your marriage could be next. We invite you to schedule a free, no obligation call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. What do you have to lose? This could permanently change your life.

From a graduate:

"After 36 years of marriage and being 'settled' (or maybe complacent?) in the rhythm of our relationship, I figured something along the lines of, 'Well, for us this must be as good as it's going to get!'

Now, two months and eight modules later, my feeling is, 'If it can be this good already, and I still have four modules to go, where are we going from here?'"

There are so many people I wish I could help when I meet them at the playground, park, at a party... so here it is.

Marriage can be tough. VERY tough.

And there is a dearth of helpful insight nowadays.

My content is focused towards people who follow the teachings of Jesus.

But I really want to give you help because, from one perspective, we may not even be able to ask the hard philosophical questions about "is there a God?" or "what is Truth?" if we're bogged down with so much emotional pain in our marriage.

So, I tried my best in this episode to give you a roadmap at a very high level of how to rescue your relationship.

Whether you follow the teachings of Jesus or not. (Yes, all my training is based on that, but I want to HELP you... so I invite you to listen in because I am very practical.)

Maybe you want to stay married because of the kids (good for you!) or you really can't afford a divorce, or you want to keep the commitment you made however many years ago, or you have the slightest bit of hope that you could get back to what you had at first or... fill in the blank.

So, how do you do that when your partner has hurt you in so many ways?

1. Well, in this episode, I talk about what husbands need to feel filled up in marriage, and what wives need to feel filled up in marriage.
2. And when you or your spouse is missing this, it is painful and "hurt people, hurt people". So your spouse reacts by hurting you too.
3. I also talk about the very first step you must take, otherwise, your marriage won't be able to grow.
4. I also uproot a cliche and very harmful marital habit. EXTREMELY harmful, if you want to stay married.

And most of all I want you to have hope that it can change and that it's worth you putting in the work (yet again) to see to it that your kids have a solid and safe family to grow up in.

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - To help you determine the current health of your marriage, take this free assessment at delightyourmarriage.com/health

PPS - If you want help in your marriage, click here to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

A recent graduate of a Delight Your Marriage program said:

BEFORE:

"No hope of anything beyond glorified roommates. We were lacking in communication, vulnerability, trust, emotional connectedness and of course physical intimacy."

[We had a sexless marriage].

AFTER:

That she has initiated love-making multiple occasions. We made love 3 days in a row on our anniversary trip and twice in a row on a recent work trip.

I feel like I have a system or structure—a way forward—to a better marriage. Whereas before I felt lost, hopeless and stuck.

I have loved the program! ... I cannot believe its been 13 weeks!!! WHAT?!"

Sign up for a Clarity Call to see if this is right for you! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Their marital intimacy never seemed to be right.

Early on, they struggled with infertility and then a heartbreaking miscarriage.

God did give them a baby (praise God!), and then that was another layer of challenge.

But she couldn't seem to get intimacy "right."

And she knew he wasn't satisfied.

And that was a big dig to her confidence. Consistently.

Which impacted their relationship.

She decided to take the brave step and schedule the Clarity Call (with wonderful Dana).

But even just on that call, she felt so heard and cared for. And had a twinkle of hope.

Now...

She sees sex as pure and good. She already knew that. But somehow, through this work, it went from head to heart.

She felt so encouraged by the community. And finally had a judgment-free zone to deeply share.

Now she has gotten a great sense of freedom that she didn't have previously, and even encourages adventure in intimacy -- why not!?

May Rose's story encourage you. There is hope for you, too.

Our team is praying for you and we hope this episode leaves you with encouragement and hope that it can happen for you, too. <3

Love,

Belah

Here's where you can sign up for a free, non-scary Clarity Call with super kind and friendly Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc.

From another program graduate:

BEFORE the program: "I wanted to leave the marriage or die."

AFTER the program: "We are making each other the happiest we have ever been."