Delight Your Marriage

You're doing it. You want to hear where you might need to grow. You want to see where you might not see yet. That was Meredith's heart and what led to their amazing transformation.

It is God's kindness to lead us to repentance.

He loves those He disciples.

What are Christians...?

Who are Christ-followers...?

What is a Disciple of Jesus?

We're the ones who ask:

"Jesus, what do you want to teach me? What can I learn to be more like you? How can I walk more in your will today? Show me. Teach me. Guide me."

We are all broken and blind to many things.

(I am in that category, for sure!)

We are all missing some things that others already know -- because God opened their eyes.

If you click this episode, I am proud of you.

You are seeking how you might need to change.

You are seeking what God might want to show you, too, just as He opened Meredith's eyes.

This is a story of transformation from a woman who chose to see the world as God set it up.

Not because it's easy.

Not because it's "natural".

Not because the non-Christians agree with this mindset.

But, because when the Lord spoke truth to her heart surrounding her marriage, she chose to have an open heart and be moved by His truth.

May God speak to you through her story.

She loves God.

She wants to share her story not because it's easy to share.

But, because it's her duty to share what God has done in her, and now, how He can do it in others, too.

What is her story:

Through many things, she started her young life away from God and was promiscuous.

So, sex was tainted from the beginning. When she got into marriage, she associated negative things with sex and now she is a repentant Jesus follower.

This sex-thing must not be important to God.

But then, her eyes were opened and God has done incredible things in her, her husband, and their family.

Now she even has the desire for intimacy. True desire. She's enjoying it and desiring it for herself.

It wasn't immediate, it was a process.

But you can get there, too.

I love you and I'm rooting for you.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - We'd love to join you on this journey. A single podcast episode isn't enough.

I'd encourage you to take the leap of faith and decide it's time to address this head-on.

And like Meredith, we'd love to join you on a (proven) journey, where you can come to a place of healing, joy, and even desire for the gift God gave Adam and Eve.

Let's talk: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

When you sign up for a time with a Clarity Advisor - a trained graduate of these very programs - where it's fully confidential and judgment-free, you'll have time to process things you may never have before.

An opportunity for us to see how we can help you in your specific situation.

We love you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

If you have temptations to jealousy, here's what I recommend.

If you've listened to the transformation stories and become upset, angry, bitter, resentful...

I want to give you some ideas on what to do.

I get that way too.

I have certain triggers that throw me completely off.

You might as well.

I want to give you some ideas on how I deal with my triggers.

And I want you to get really CURIOUS about what you can learn from these triggers to jealousy and how you can end the cycle.

Blessings,

Belah

PS -- We'd love to help you on a Clarity Call, feel free to sign up for a free one here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

We get to see miracles everyday and we'd love to help you.

I've been there.

Angry because he wouldn't change.

Hurt because he wasn't giving me what I needed.

And God was kind to me.

He helped me to see that there were places in my heart that needed to be utterly changed.

This journey to freedom in your marriage is one that should start with the heart.

If you're a wife, you may see yourself in Emily's story. I know I do.

If you're a husband, you can see more of how you can serve and love your wife, and also, have hope that God can do miracles in your marriage.

Looking forward to you being blessed by God's kindness through this testimony of Jesus' transformation.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you'd like to find out how your marriage can shift in the ways Emily speaks about, I invite you to join a free Clarity Call ($300 value) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

We'd love to serve you and witness God do a miracle in your life as well. Schedule now: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Last year, Belah was part of the special intimacy expert panel in the 2021 Sex Seminar (a huge success!). Well, she was honored to be invited back for the 2022 Sex Seminar, presenting alongside 22 other professionals in the field. Her topic is THE 8 BARRIERS WOMEN HAVE TO SEX.

Next week, we'll be sending you a discount code for the entire seminar (which is packed full of value and helpful insights from all sorts of important intimacy topics) and we hope it will be a blessing for your marriage!

"I was pretty much done with life...I wouldn't have minded if I passed away. If this is all life has to offer, what's the point?"

A father of 7.

Deep sadness of his inner life.

Deep pain.

Desperation.

But then... God did an incredible, incredible, incredible thing.

This title doesn't by any means tell the whole story. But I want you to hear the incredible result that God did.

(My other suggested title was "Zero/yr to 5x/wk and She Didn't Know He Did the Program!")

However, the process is what God did in His heart and the fruits showed up in his marriage and intimacy.

And after 10 months of nothing, she started initiating (A LOT) and loving him the way he receives love (in response to his change.)

My favorite part of this story?

That there are seven children growing up in a happy home. A man who no longer hopes for the end, but one who looks forward to what God is doing through and in his life.

That is a good God story.

Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like to have access to the program that Ken took, sign up for a free Clarity Call (a $300 value) to see if your situation would transform like his. We have a trained Clarity Advisor who will help you discern where you are and if DYM can help you. Whether your marriage is good or desperate. We get to witness the transformation like Ken, but also that those who have good marriages go to great (!!) Sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PS - A recent grad wrote: "My marriage has completely changed. I would have not guessed that all of this could have happened in such a short amount of time… and I will forever be grateful for what God is doing in y'all and through y'all!" Why couldn't this be you? Sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

They're saying a lot of hurtful things.

They're saying it in a mean tone of voice.

Their face has the look of disgust, or worse.

You can feel your temperature rising.

You can feel your face getting red.

You can feel your rage welling up from the pit of your belly.

Is it righteous indignation?

Is it because they need godly correction -- and fast?

Is it that you're just plain tired of being unfairly beaten down?

Well...

In the midst of that moment of emotional alarm...

When the atomic bomb is counting down and it feels like everything has to happen right then, or else...

And your "wise brain" - the prefrontal cortex - has gone completely offline and your "childish/immature brain" is the only thing left and can't seem to see anything but red alarm bells everywhere...

Here are 3 tools to dismantle the bomb BEFORE the explosion detonates and destroys and/or damages all that you hold dear

...hurting the people you love the most - those you're assigned by God to protect, respect, love, and cherish.

But just like a professional bomb dismantler (it's probably called that, right?)...

You've got to be trained AND you've got to practice before the bomb is about to go off.

These are tools to practice.

These are tools that will make you more like Jesus if you practice them.

God has given us wonderful ways to respond to situations in the moment and here are 3 that I want you to have.

Looking forward to hearing how this impacts your life!

Blessings,

Belah

PS - We'd love to help you have the marriage you deeply desire and increase how God can use you more effectively if you do have it.

Emotionally, physically, and spiritually fulfilled in God's design.

Get on a call with one of our Clarity Advisors to let us hear your story and to have the insights to see how we can help you.

This is a $300 value -- our gift to you for free -- so God can move in you and your marriage.

It's a brave and important step to get your marriage healed: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

SO much packed in here, but I tried to narrow it down so you have a helpful summary. We go deep in this episode, I really think it'll help you.

Three points are made in this episode:

1 - Your feelings are God given and He wants to do something because of them.

2 - It is healthy and even Jesus-like to express your frustration emotions (without hurting anyone) and grieve through your sad emotions (tears are important).

3 - Regardless of your lot in life, it is your responsibility (not your family of origin, perhaps you didn't have a good role model, maybe you were exposed to porn, or your wife doesn't have wholehearted sex with you every other day...) to correctly follow God with your emotions.

A lot of men learned to deal with frustration through masturbation and/or pornography. It was a very tactical way to get frustration out of their body.

However, that stunted the opportunity to get frustration out in a healthy way, so that their brains could develop in the way God wanted it to -- with empathy, gentleness, and kindness.

So, they came into marriage assuming they'd be able to replace their "frustration valve" of pornography with their wife's body.

And surprise... they're still frustrated.

Because that's not Jesus' way.

They may struggle now with anger, aggression, bitterness, resentment, being judgmental...

Sex addiction, still...

Alcoholism, video game addiction, binge-watching nonsense...

Longing for your past sexual escapades...

Daydreaming about divorce so you could get a new partner...

Other similar things are unhealthy ways of expelling the frustration.

(Things that, if it was printed on the front page of a newspaper, you would be ashamed of.)

I want you to know -- I am proud of you for even reading this email -- and if you're in any of these loops -- I think God is proud of you for facing it! Bravo!

Listen, this is not just for men, but I hope this will help you process what's going on with you a bit more.

Feelings are good. They're God given. They tell us something. It may be that WE need to process, mature, slow-down, feel grief, etc. so we can feel empathy...

I want you to listen to this episode because I really think it could help you and help all of us pursue Jesus better.

Love & Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you want to dedicate a short season of your life to DO this practically. To live this out for the betterment of your marriage & intimacy but also in service to your kids and ministry -- I'd love to invite you to join a free Clarity Call.

On that call, a Clarity Advisor who is specifically trained in helping you draw out your emotions that may be pent up and looking like anger and self-righteousness instead of frustration and sadness.

People who chose not to move forward with our recommendation because of their current season of life or any other things have emailed afterwards to share how helpful it was for that empathetic and listening ear.

We'd love to help, schedule a call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This is a great sadness to me.

When a wife steps out (even an inch) from her comfort zone and her husband mishandles this vulnerability.

Whether it's an inch sexually or in any part of their relationship...vulnerability should be appreciated and complimented and encouraged.

Your response to her discovery of more sexual freedom (big or small) should be, "Oh! How can I love HER more, too?" Not, "Oh, how can I perfect/change/improve her attempts?"

Because the second piece undermines her sexual freedom. That is what saddens me and makes me pray that God will help me do this thing better.

That's why it grieves me at times that my podcast can be heard by both men and women... because the enemy WANTS your focus to be on yourself.

The enemy wants you to be focused on whether or not you're getting your "fair share". Or on "how can she love me better".

But if we can be more like Christ and put the focus on the other "how can I love her better?"

How can her attempts to love me... inspire me to love HER!? That's the heart I believe God wants us to have around this topic.

This is a part of what our Masculinity Reclaimed program addresses.

Maybe you have lost all hope that intimacy could be different and you may think you're doing all the right things -- everything I teach you to do, right? But, if it's still not working, you haven't tried the program and that might be the step you're missing.

Listen to the testimonials please, because you'll hear some stellar men who were doing it "right" and just couldn't get there until they followed the program and got incredible breakthroughs.

Our whole team will give you 100%, we'd love to have you on the inside!

Schedule a free Clarity Call to get started in our online courses to begin healing your marriage at delightyourmarriage.com/cc!

Love, blessings, & prayers,

Belah

I never want to "get over" the miracles we see, daily.

But, you will be blown away by what God continues to do.

It can happen for you.

It can happen for your friend.

It can happen for your acquaintance.

Families do NOT need to be torn apart.

Husbands do not need to cry in their cars of loneliness due to lack of intimacy.

Kids do not need to grow up fearful and stressed because of the strife in the home.

Ministries don't need to be undermined by leadership infidelity (privately or publicly.)

God can change it all.

It's not automatic.

It is a system.

A strategy.

A... program.

By God's grace, He uses "Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy & love being married again" for amazing purposes.

For His glory. Listen in to understand that the work is heart work but the results are true healing, connection & intimacy.

Could it all be different in just 3 months? Maybe! For these gents -- it was! Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

Blessings,

Belah

PS - This cohort closes Monday, April 4, 2022

Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

(Enrollment is open for Masculinity Reclaimed program -- check it out here delightyourmarriage.com/minvite -- closes April 4, 2022)

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Skeptical. Yep, that's Bill :) (Ehemm, *was* Bill).

I don't blame him. He had been through it. His first marriage didn't work out.

He came to peace with being single for the rest of his life, until his (now) wife came along.

Things were good for a while. Until they weren't. And then that lasted 20 years.

Bill went through these two major heartbreaks... there's only so much heartbreak we can go through til we don't want to have hope that it could change.

Why would it. How could it. It's been like this for so long.

Well, though skeptical, he thought he would try the program just for the betterment of himself.

And he worked hard -- ups and downs -- because it's real life. But after a year of continuing what he learned -- he's here to say that it can change.

Completely.

God brought him closer to Himself than he had been for many years.

And God utterly transformed their marriage.

Truly amazing.

If you've gone through heartbreak in your marriage. I want you to have hope. It can change. It can. It can.

You may be skeptical like Bill because of your pain and history. It's ok. But listen and see if God has a reason you should still have hope.

Enrollment into the same program he took: Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy & enjoy marriage again! is open now (but closes on April 4 at midnight EST).

Our whole team of graduates would love to serve you and help you to witness God's transformation just like Bill! All for His glory.

Join us! delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

Prayers & Blessings,

Belah

Click here to sign up for the all-new Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course! THIS Monday, March 28, 2022! delightyourmarriage.com/menscourse

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How many broken, sad, dramatic stories have you heard this week, this month, this year? Where hearts are broken and families torn apart? Maybe you're even in a similar situation. This is why I want to share as many of these transformations as possible. Here's where Steve began... "I felt like I was looking down a long dark tunnel and there was no light at the end. Divorce wasn't an option. But I was feeling hopeless it could ever be different." Sadly, this is not the first time I've heard a husband describe his marriage that way. He is committed to Jesus. He loves his family. He wants his kids to grow up in a Godly home, with joy and laughter. And he wants them to see what a wonderful marriage can look like. But instead, his wife is cold. Stand off-ish. Sex is just a scheduled thing that happens because it's on the (very bottom of) her checklist. A lot of frustration and tension was in their home. One thing you'll find out about Steve is he's not one to sit idly by letting the marriage disintegrate. This is why when he was searching for podcasts on intimacy, he stumbled on DYM and became an avid listener. Well, I am happy to say that after 3 months of, only him doing the work, in fact, she didn't know! He said she had no interest in changing, working on the relationship or certainly not discussing sex... but God has done some awesome things! I want you to listen today because it's when we hear stories that God puts hope in us to a greater degree (I think) than just direct teaching. It's really through stories that we hear someone's heart and we hear what God has done in them and in their marriages. If you're struggling... I want you to resist the temptation towards jealousy. And instead rejoice that God is still changing hearts, lives, and marriages! (Even if only 1 does the work!) Steve can give you great evidence that it's worth it even on this side of heaven.

Love & Blessings, Belah PS - We'd love to have you join the FREE men's course Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations!! Available for a very short time and will be released starting Monday, March 28th! Click here to register for the FREE all-new Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course! A recent grad of the full MR Program wrote: "DYM has changed me and my marriage, I hope it will be a forever change, but that will depend on me continuing to be the man God has asked me to be. My wife is responding to me in ways that she has never responded, her love and affection are at all time highs and our intimacy is at a place I have always hoped it would be. I have more energy, focus, and life to give the people around me." Click here to sign up for the all-new Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course! THIS Monday, March 28, 2022!