Lust—that's a powerful word.  Sometimes people confuse love and lust, and they ask, "Am I in lust or am I in love?" Lust is a desire to mate with an appropriate partner because we are hard-wired to procreate, part of our brains are always looking to make a baby. So the lust part of us is thinking about pleasure, not relationships.

Let's look at love. Dr. Sternberg says love has three basic components, intimacy, passion, and commitment. He says lust in the relationship called love is not just for that one-time satisfaction; it's a craving to be one in terms of the other person's life. That person to be the one in your life, which then requires intimacy, transparency, vulnerability, and openness. That's what develops trust; you let me see who you are, what you think, what you feel. You let me know who you are. And, I let you see who I am. And we begin to mesh our lives together, I won't find you perfect, and you won't find me perfect.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about the difference between lust and love with Dr. Joe Beam. 


Book: Art of Falling in Love 

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