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When something shocking or difficult happens, we're often told we need to "process" our emotions. But what if that endless loop of replaying events in your mind isn't actually processing at all? In this episode, Drew and Josh explore the crucial difference between healthy emotional processing and anxious rumination that keeps us stuck.
Processing vs. Ruminating: Real processing involves experiencing emotions from multiple perspectives and naturally leads somewhere. Anxious thinking loops from a single anxious viewpoint, chasing certainty or relief that never comes.
The Mirage Effect: Like chasing an oasis in the desert, compulsive thinking promises relief that always stays just out of reach.
Beyond the Urgent: If thinking through something feels urgent or mandatory right now, it's likely anxiety rather than processing.
Community Contributions In This Episode:
Timestamps
True emotional processing happens organically and involves being with difficult feelings without trying to fix them. When "processing" feels urgent, repetitive, or like chasing relief, it's likely anxious thinking in disguise. The goal isn't to process everything immediately, but to allow natural emotional experiences while living your life.
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
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Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
In this episode of Disordered, the guys tackle one of the most misunderstood concepts in anxiety recovery: healing. Sparked by a listener question about balancing relationships with anxiety recovery work, the hosts dive deep into what healing anxiety really means - and what it doesn't.
The Problem with "Healing" Language
Drew and Josh explore how the word "healing" can be problematic in anxiety recovery, often implying that people are broken and need fixing. They discuss how healing anxiety culture can keep people trapped in endless cycles of inward focus and compulsive self-improvement.
Real vs. Imaginary Healing
There is a difference between meaningful healing (like processing grief or trauma) versus the endless pursuit of healing anxiety symptoms. They emphasize that anxiety disorders often require learning and skill development rather than traditional healing approaches.
Living vs. Healing
A central theme emerges: in anxiety recovery, we don't heal to live - we live to heal. The hosts challenge the notion that extensive inner work must precede living your life, suggesting that engaging in meaningful activities IS the recovery process.
Timestamps:
4:30 - Why no one gets to define healing for you
8:00 - The "resource gathering" compulsion trap
13:40 - How healing language can keep you stuck
16:00 - The dangers of AI-driven anxiety advice
21:40 - When healing actually makes sense in therapy
26:30 - Why being "already healed" might be the answer
29:00 - The never-ending healing journey problem
33:00 - Self-development vs. living your life
The hosts suggest that many people struggling with anxiety may already be "healed" - they're simply learning to navigate life without anxiety being center stage. Rather than endless healing pursuits, recovery often involves doing less inner work and more actual living. The episode challenges popular wellness narratives while maintaining hope for genuine recovery through practical, reality-based approaches.
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
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Ever feel trapped in cycles of rumination, overthinking, and constant mental chatter about your anxiety? In this episode, Drew and Josh tackle the challenging question of how to "get out of your own head" without turning it into another exhausting battle.
Starting with a thoughtful question from a listener who has built an impressive life despite ongoing anxiety and DPDR but still struggles with constant internal focus, the hosts explore why simply trying to stop thinking doesn't work and what actually does.
Key topics covered include:
The episode features inspiring "did it anyway" stories from listeners conquering agoraphobia with solo travel and managing postpartum OCD intrusive thoughts during daily caregiving tasks.
Drew and Josh also address the tricky balance between attention redirection techniques and emotional avoidance, offering guidance for those working with metacognitive therapy approaches.
Key Timestamps:
[02:30] - Listener question about staying out of your own head
[07:30] - Josh's detailed narrative of what being "in your head" actually sounds like
[12:50] - Making anxiety the least interesting thing in the room
[15:50] - The attention "flashlight" metaphor and experimentation approach
[17:00] - Josh's YouTube banner analogy for intrusive thoughts
[18:40] - Addressing GAD and the belief that thinking is always helpful
[25:00] - Powerful "did it anyway" story about postpartum OCD
[29:00] - The role of distraction and attention flexibility
[33:40] - Listener question about balancing allowing feelings vs. attention redirection
This episode emphasizes that recovery isn't about achieving a thought-free mind, but rather developing a healthier relationship with your internal experience while engaging meaningfully with your life.---
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
What If I Want To Control My Anxiety Holistically?
In this episode, Drew and Josh examine tension between wanting to control anxiety through holistic approaches and recognizing when that desire for control becomes part of the problem itself.
Key Topics Discussed:
Important Timestamps:
00:00 - A listener from Switzerland asks about holistic control strategies and when it feels like she can control things
02:30 - Introduction to the control illusion concept
04:20 - Drew explains the critical difference between knowing and controlling
5:45 - Josh's "why" question - examining motivations behind wellness pursuits
8:15- How your threat response learns from your control behaviors
11:45- Personal stories: Josh's magnesium bath experience and Drew's supplement journey
14:30 - The meditation paradox - using mindfulness as exposure vs. control
16:00- Drew's mini-rant about the billion-dollar wellness industry
21:15 - Did It Anyway: A listener's birthday triumph (train, crowds, and dating)
22:30- The Dr. Oz example of entertainment vs. medicine
31:45- The compatibility question: Can you pursue both control and acceptance?
35:00- Josh's "willful tolerance" exercise
39:00 - Did It Anyway: A listener conquers their emetophobia podcast fear
41:00 - First official announcement of the upcoming "Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety" book
Key Takeaways
The episode emphasizes that while basic wellness practices may be helpful, using them as anxiety control strategies often backfires. True recovery involves learning to be with difficult feelings rather than trying to eliminate them. The hosts stress the importance of asking "why" you're pursuing any wellness intervention - is it for general health or to avoid anxiety?
This episode offers practical guidance on distinguishing between healthy self-care and anxiety-driven control behaviors, helping listeners navigate the complex world of wellness marketing while staying focused on genuine recovery principles.
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
Am I Doing Too Much Recovery/Exposure?
This week Drew and Josh tackle a common question in anxiety recovery: "Am I pushing myself too hard with exposures?" The guys explore the nuanced balance between challenging yourself and recognizing when you might genuinely need rest.
In this episode:
Featured listener stories:
While you can't actually "break" your recovery by doing too much, it's important to allocate your resources wisely and remember that feeling scared doesn't mean you've made a mistake - it means you're doing exactly what recovery requires.
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
This week Drew and Josh are answering questions from listeners. Questions addressed in this episode include:
We're also hearing from inspiring "Did It Anyways" and inserting the usual doses of humor and compassion as we address anxiety and anxiety disorders.
Thanks to the entire Disordered listening community for sending in questions, wins, and for supporting our work. We appreciate you!
----
Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
Death anxiety - an obsessive fixation on death, dying and existence driven by intense fear of the inevitability of death - is a very common experience for listeners of Disordered.
This week Josh and Drew were lucky enough to have a chat with Professor David Veale, one of the leading authorities in in the UK on the topic of death anxiety and mental health issues related to death and existence. David helped spread some light and some much-needed humor on this topic that might help you change the way you approach your death-focused anxiety and fear.
The highlights:
Death is in fact an un-solvable problem. This creates discomfort for all humans, and fear is some kind for most humans. That is also unavoidable. Being uncomfortable with death is part of living. Approaching death anxiety means coming to grips with this reality.
We can all experience discomfort around the idea of death because it really is an important topic, however importance and urgency are not the same things. Please keep this in mind. Death might be important, but that does not make it a topic you need to tend to immediately as if it is a current emergency.
Compulsively searching for answers or solutions when it comes to death is a pointless exercise that just makes things worse than they have to be.
Overcoming death anxiety is an exercise is doing what we can do to prepare for death (writing wills, making funeral arrangements, talking about our feelings, etc.), then bring our discomfort or fear with us as we do our best to return to living the best life we can while we have it!
If you are struggling with death anxiety, this episode is worth a listen.
For more on Professor David Veale visit his website:
https://www.veale.co.uk
Find David’s book about death anxiety (co-authored with Rachel Menzies):
https://www.veale.co.uk/news/free-yourself-from-death-anxiety-book-published/
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
What's the difference between rumination and reflection? Ruminators, worriers, and over thinkers often struggle to recognize the useful limits of thinking. They can become unsure when they are engaging in helpful reflection or problem solving .... and when they are ruminating and worrying with no good outcomes and often actual negative outcomes.
This week on Disordered Drew and Josh are digging in to the difference between rumination and reflection. Reflection is good. Rumination ... not so much. How can you tell the difference? Can you always tell the difference? Isn't thinking ALWAYS good because it solves problems? Why are your friends and loved ones looking at you sideways when you insist that worrying and thinking is a good move and they see you getting more and more agitated and anxious the more you think?
These questions and more on episode 112 of Disordered, so tune in.
Oh, and we also have a new sound effect this week. We're super pleased with that. 😂
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
This week on Disordered we're discussing the all too common narrative in wellness circles that demands that we ascribe all anxiety or suffering of any kind to unhealed or unprocessed trauma. And while its certainly a good thing that we are more concerned with life experiences than structural defects now, this narrative can be unhelpful or even harmful in the context of anxiety disorders.
All humans experiences crises. Some of those crises remain unresolved and create trauma. In some of those cases that trauma appears as functional impairment long after the traumatizing experiences are over. Some anxious people struggle with this. BUT NOT ALL. It's not automatic. The word "some" is the most important word in this discussion.
When there is trauma in the mix - and not all difficult things in life need to be called trauma - that makes anxiety recovery more layered and even more tricky in some cases, but it doesn't make things impossible. And when there is no lasting functional impact due to "trauma", insisting that anxiety disorders are an unhealed / unprocessed pain problem is a really bad strategy.
Whatever your experiences in life with crisis, trauma, or anxiety may be, this episode is worth a listen.
----
Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Send a question or comment via text message
"Help! I started doing exposures and trying to accept my anxiety and its getting worse!"
This is a very common experience in anxiety disorder recovery. Its been spoken about at great length in the community surrounding the Disordered podcast. This week we're tackling the "worse before better" issue.
When you stop running, hiding, avoiding, escaping, distracting, and otherwise drowning out your anxious thoughts, fears, and sensations, you will find yourself in a situation where you feel them more fully. This is natural, normal, to be expected, and part of the recovery process as designed. However, it can be easy for many reasons to interpret this as things getting "worse".
Tune in to this episode as the guys are talking about how this interpretation is created, why feeling more does not equal getting worse, and how fully experiencing the things that disturb and bother us is a required part of the recovery equation.
If you're adopting acceptance, tolerance, or non-resistance and feel like this is "making you worse", this episode is for you.
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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space
https://disordered.fm/community
----
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:
https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out Worry and Rumination Explained, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.
-----
Got questions or did it anyways to share? Send us an email or voicemail on our website.
https://disordered.fm
---
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
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