Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.

Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.

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Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.

Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened quietly for over a year before she ever mentioned it to her husband. She was drawn to Janna’s Wanting It More Foundations course for women, hoping to better understand why she had grown to dislike sex—and to begin figuring out what she might actually enjoy.

The course gave her the words and insights she had been missing. For the first time, Jess realized she had no real understanding of what felt good to her—she had always been focused on other people’s needs and feelings instead of her own. With this new awareness, she was finally able to have an open, honest conversation with her husband.

Together, they decided to take the Doing It Together course. Now, they’re learning how Jess can reconnect with herself and how her husband can support her in that journey.

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Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship.

When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had children.

Following the birth of their second child, Kate found herself constantly exhausted. While sex remained a top priority for her husband, it became the last thing on Kate’s mind by the end of each day. Her husband felt hurt and began to believe she no longer loved him.

For years, Kate went through the motions, having sex mainly to meet his needs—but she found little enjoyment in it. During this period, she was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), which only deepened her fatigue. As her symptoms worsened, she eventually had to leave her job, and any energy for intimacy vanished.

Then, Kate stumbled across Janna’s Wanting It More Foundations program for women through an online ad. She took the self-paced course and recalls thinking, “I can’t believe I’m not the only one!” Understanding the real reasons behind her low desire was a breakthrough. She suggested they try Doing It Together, a couples’ version of the course—and her husband was fully on board.

Now, Kate shares what they’ve learned and the steps they’re taking to build a mutually satisfying sexual connection—one that truly works for both of them.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library. 

In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. When she met her future husband, she refused to officially date him for well over a year, because they were having such a good time (in and out of the bedroom) and she didn’t want things to change. 

But, despite her best efforts, something did change.

Tune in next week to hear Part 2 of Kate’s story.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you!

Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.

They also share how their marriage has changed outside the bedroom and the routines they’ve incorporated to keep their connection at the forefront of their marriage.

You can listen to Justin and Sandra's personal stories by listening to these previous episodes:

Justin's Story in Episode 82

Sandra's Story in Episode 74

The Michelle Mays episode on Betrayal Trauma can be found here: Episode 108

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program.

Questions include:

• I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me?

• My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me?

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for advice. But as his frustration grew, he found himself blaming his wife for not putting in the same level of effort.

Ironically, it was his wife who discovered the Doing It Together course and suggested they try it. Ryan admits that much of the content wasn’t entirely new to him. What was new, however, was seeing that information through the lens of intimacy within marriage. It shifted his entire perspective. Instead of focusing on what he saw as her "problem," Ryan began to reflect on his own role in their dynamic. The course helped him realize the powerful impact of making changes on his side—both emotionally and physically—which began to transform their connection, in and out of the bedroom.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful lesson he learned about the importance of listening without judgment.

Tune in next week for the rest of Ryan’s story, where he discusses his marriage, their struggles with sex, and the breakthrough insight that transformed the way he understands intimacy.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared during their dating years.

Over time, resentment and frustration took root. The emotional disconnect between them grew, creating a silent distance that neither knew how to bridge.

Through his work with Janna, Bill began to reconnect with his emotions and learn how to express what he was truly feeling. This emotional awareness opened the door to conversations they had never had before—conversations made possible by a shared language of vulnerability and understanding that was new to them.

Today, Bill says they are more emotionally connected than ever. That connection, he shares, has been the key to rekindling their relationship in a way that feels real, deep, and truly meaningful.

Resources: Google How We Feel App

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years.

In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to confront together, and how their intimate life looks completely different now—in ways that might surprise you.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.