Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Kate and her husband started out having what she describes as a great sex life. It felt exciting, easy and fun and her pleasure was easily accessible. As the years passed and life got more stressful and overwhelming, her desire plummeted. She couldn’t understand what happened. She started keeping a calendar to track how often they had sex and if too much time went by she would shame herself into doing it. Even though sex felt fine in the moment, she had no desire and felt broken and very alone.

Desperate for help, she searched for ‘low libido’ in her podcast browser and discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened to the first episode on the way to the grocery store and exclaimed, “That’s me, that’s me, that’s me!” Hearing her story for the first time prompted her to listen and learn further, and finally take the program with her husband. Listen as Kate describes what was really going on, what she and her husband learned, and how their communication and sexual relationship has dramatically improved. 

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

On the final day of the last round of Doing It Together, Janna and her team gathered all the husbands and wives for a farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, she asked, "What’s been your most unexpected takeaway from this program?"

The couples’ honest responses were deeply moving. After just eight weeks on their journey, they had already made remarkable progress in rekindling their intimacy. Although the journey wasn’t without its challenges, witnessing their progress in real-time continually reinforced the mission of Doing It Together—to empower couples with the skills to create an intimate life that feels fulfilling for both partners.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In this special episode, Janna talks with her coaching teammates, Justin and Melissa, about the upcoming round of Doing It Together, what couples can expect from the program, and common questions they are asked about low libido and sexual connection from both men and women.

Justin and Melissa answer:

• What are men and women worried about when considering joining Doing It Together?
• What would you say to someone considering joining but is on the fence?
• What do you hear men and women share about their experience of Doing It Together? How have their lives improved and become better?

You can listen to Justin and Melissa's personal stories by listening to these previous episodes:

Justin's Story in Episode 82

Melissa's Story in Episode 4

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

From a young age, Kris learned to suppress his emotions and handle his feelings alone. His friends, family, and culture reinforced this mindset, showing him quick fixes for managing his growing anxiety, such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, or turning to adult entertainment. Over time, he became an expert at burying his emotions, but this came at a cost—dark moods, silence, and withdrawal from his family and marriage.

After decades of living this way, Kris hit a breaking point and, with hesitation, opened up to his wife about his struggles. What he didn’t know was that she had been listening to Janna’s podcast for years and suggested they try the Doing It Together program. In this episode, Kris shares his transformative experience in the program, how he faced his greatest fears, and what he’s learned about emotions, communication, and the difference between intimacy and sex.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Chloe and her husband, married for 12 years, struggled with their intimate relationship from the very beginning. However, they found it difficult to have honest conversations with each other. Both raised in Britain with the belief in keeping a “stiff upper lip,” discussing emotions or sensitive topics didn’t come naturally to them. Her husband’s moods often turned dark and tense, and Chloe learned to tread carefully, trying to manage his unspoken feelings. Instead of confronting the issues, they both silently stewed in frustration for years.

Five years ago, Chloe came across Janna’s program but never mentioned it to her husband, fearing it might hurt his feelings. Eventually, after reaching a breaking point, they had an honest conversation and decided to try the Doing It Together program. Chloe shares how surprised she was by what she discovered about herself, especially the depth of certain issues she hadn’t fully recognized before.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Tim and his wife have been married for 30 years. Their initial connection was deep and fulfilling, but once they got married, something changed. His wife began to touch him less and less, and Tim felt rejected and confused. This led to frequent arguments. After their three kids moved out, Tim hoped things would improve, but they didn’t. He fell into an emotional spiral, convincing himself that the only explanation was that his wife no longer loved him.

Thankfully, Tim’s wife discovered Janna’s podcast. After listening to just half an episode, Tim immediately recognized their own experience in what was being shared, and they decided to sign up for the program. In the men’s group, Tim was able to open up honestly with other men for the first time and realize he wasn’t alone. Meanwhile, in the women’s program, his wife discovered she wasn’t broken either.

For the first time in years, they felt like they were on the same team, working together to find a solution. Listen to why Tim now feels free from the emotional turmoil that sex had caused in his life, and why he and his wife have never been closer.

Episode References:

Zoe’s Episode 121: https://jannadentonhowes.com/121-breaking-the-cycle-zoes-30-year-journey-to-reclaim-intimacy/

Ep. 79: https://jannadentonhowes.com/79-is-wanting-it-more-the-right-program-to-solve-my-low-libido-problem/

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

33-year-old Bri was convinced something was wrong with her. She hadn't been intimate with her husband in over two years, and their once passionate relationship had dwindled to a series of weekly arguments and frustrations on both sides. She was convinced she had low libido because she was too young to have lost interest in sex—what else could it be?

After following Janna for several years, Bri and her husband decided to enroll in Doing It Together to finally understand what had gone wrong with their sexual relationship. Through the program, they learned how to break old patterns and replace them with healthier ways of connecting and expressing themselves. Bri shares what she discovered about effective communication, compassion, and empowerment—along with the importance of putting her needs first and speaking her mind.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Jason describes himself as an adventurous thrill-seeker, always in search of a rush. When he discovered the internet in college and the types of images and videos that could be accessed secretly and anonymously, it led him down a dark path marked by decades of manipulation, lying, and gaslighting as he tried to protect his secret behaviours.

His marriage suffered as a result, but he was unable to recognize the damage his actions were causing to his wife. He believed he knew the "right way" for intimacy to look, so that became the path they tried to follow. This only left him feeling more frustrated and her feeling more broken.

It wasn't until they discovered Doing It Together that they both realized this wasn't just a "her" problem to fix. Once they understood the root issues, they were able to address them together and begin healing.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

As a young girl trying to understand sex and sexuality, Kelly experienced a lot of shame from her parents and the small-town culture she grew up in. Without any sex education, she and her friends had to figure things out on their own, trying their best to support each other along the way.

Now, as a mother raising two daughters, Kelly still sees the same shame directed at young women and the sexualized way they are often viewed. These messages had a significant impact on Kelly’s own intimate life with her husband. It wasn’t until she heard other women share their stories on this podcast that she finally understood why she felt so disconnected from the experience.

Kelly is now happy to join the many others who have shared their stories in this space. She talks about what she and her husband have learned about true sexual intimacy and what she is teaching her children to help remove shame from the conversation.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Zack had always thought of himself as respectful towards women—until he confronted the reality of how his daily consumption of porn, starting at age 12, affected his relationship with his wife. For over 20 years, this habit was a part of his life, and though he never intended to objectify anyone, he learned that it deeply harmed his ability to connect emotionally and intimately with his wife. 

Through the Doing It Together program, Zack took a hard look at his behaviors and realized just how much his actions were impacting his relationship. Now, free from this pattern, he and his wife have experienced a dramatic transformation in their shared intimacy. His wife now feels completely safe and valued in their connection, something Zack hadn’t fully understood was missing before. Zack’s story shows how personal reflection and growth can bring profound healing, not just for ourselves, but for our marriages as well.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.