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This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through validation, patience, and restraint—so vulnerability can grow over time.
Main Talking Points
Pursuer vs withdrawer
Punishing vulnerability
Critiquing delivery
Validation first
Play long game
Create safety
Give Me Discounts!
AG1 - AG1 has become my go to every morning.
Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.
Check out Relationship Academy!
Cozy Earth - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!
Simple Practice - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
By Thrive Therapy - Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich4.3
16411,641 ratings
This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through validation, patience, and restraint—so vulnerability can grow over time.
Main Talking Points
Pursuer vs withdrawer
Punishing vulnerability
Critiquing delivery
Validation first
Play long game
Create safety
Give Me Discounts!
AG1 - AG1 has become my go to every morning.
Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.
Check out Relationship Academy!
Cozy Earth - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!
Simple Practice - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???
Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!
Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link!
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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