You Are Not Crazy

Double Speak: When Coercive Control Hides Behind "Concern"


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In this episode, I talk about one of the most confusing and insidious forms of manipulation survivors face in high-conflict relationships and co-parenting: Double Speak.

It’s that moment when control hides behind concern — when an email, message, or conversation sounds calm and reasonable to everyone else, but your body knows something is off. It’s when someone says, “I just want what’s best for our child,” while taking positions that go directly against your child’s needs or the agreements already in place.

I break down how Double Speak operates as a tactic of coercive control — how it creates contradiction, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion — and how to start spotting it before you’re pulled into another circular argument. I share real-world examples from co-parenting cases, explain how this pattern shows up in court, and offer practical strategies for documenting, responding, and staying grounded when someone twists words to maintain power.

If you’ve ever felt like you were being gaslit by “reasonable” communication, this episode will help you name the manipulation — and reclaim your clarity.

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You Are Not CrazyBy Jessica Knight

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