Every Tuesday Dr Justin answers listener questions about making your family happier! Today we have questions about sibling friendships/conflict, and helping children learn emotional regulation.

Question 1: What can parents do to make their children best friends, and how can sibling conflict/rivalry be eliminated? 

Question 2: How can we control our 11 year old son's emotions so that he doesn't get bullied or teased due to his consistent crying at school when things don't go his way?

In this episode:

• Conflict in every relationship is normal
• Rupture and repair
• Four main characteristics of sibling relationships
• How can we get our kids to like one another?
• The 3 Es of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower)
• Gender differences in expression of emotions
• Externalised vs internalised emotions
• Emotion-focused coping vs problem-focused coping
• Maladaptive/adaptive strategies
• Making emotions 'King'
• Podcast with Lisa Damour Part 1 & Part 2
• The Secret to Regulating Emotions

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Related links: 

• 10 Steps to Reducing Sibling Conflict
• Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]
• Teaching Kids Kindness [ Webinar]

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Are we doing more harm than good by pushing our children to excel early? The pursuit of excellence can feel rewarding for parents and children alike, but scientific evidence highlights the conflict between short-term gains and long-term success. 

Today, we say a sad farewell to Craig Bruce as he concludes his remarkable tenure as Executive Producer of this podcast, and a heartfelt thank you from the entire Happy Families team for the extraordinary contributions Craig has made to Happy Families! 

In this episode:

• Pushing kids to succeed
• Acceleration programs for young children
• Effects of Early Talent Promotion on Junior and Senior Performance: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis 
• Harmonious passion VS Obsessive passion
• Intrinsic motivation
• Gifted and talented children
• Happiness and wellbeing levels 
• Finding healthy balance and having varied experiences
• No wasted knowledge in life

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Related links: 

• How Much Sport is Too Much for our Kids?
• Going to High-Achieving Schools is Potentially Bad for Your Kids

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It's normal and natural for young children to want to take their time exploring the world around them, and it's also normal for parents to want to get things done quickly! Could it be possible to do both? Can we slow down and be more productive at the same time?

There are practical and simple solutions that will help you to maintain the fun, build relationships, AND be productive—all while slowing life down for your child!

• Rushing our children through tasks
• Competition
• Developmental and gender reality
• Mum guilt
• Emotional regulation
• Solutions
• Introducing routine & structure
• Transitions
• Wiggle room or wriggle room?
• Breathing techniques

(R) This episode originally aired 27/6/23.

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Related links: 

• Developmental Milestones
• Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast
• #27: How to Implement a Routine Without Being Rigid

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It takes a village to raise a family. Community-oriented relationships are so important for the well being of our children and for us as parents, but building them takes time, involvement, and effort. How can we create a village when we are time-poor parents, and where do we even start to find this supportive community?

• Building a safe neighbourhood
• Teachers
• Friendships - in and out of school
• Community leaders, coaches
• Medical professionals
• Surrogate Aunts & Uncles
• Surrogate Grandparents

(R) This episode originally aired 7/8/23.

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Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes

• Name it to tame it
• Emotional regulation
• High emotions – low intelligence
• Tunnel vision/rigid thinking
• Seen, heard & valued

(R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23.

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Related links: 

• Emotion Coaching [The Webinar]
• The Secret to Regulating Emotions
• Emotional Intelligence

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Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

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It's a question parents ask time and time again:  What is the right age for my kids to do [insert risk]? 

Justin and Kylie look at a number of hot topics and discuss the appropriate/legal age for children to be allowed to do each of these.

• Staying at home alone
• The laws in QLD
• Putting in place contingency plans
• Mobile phones, school devices, burner phones
• Kids need smart parents, not smart phones
• Smart parents give their kids dumb phones (Unplug Childhood)
• Boyfriends & girlfriends
• #816 Tween Relationships: How Young is Too Young?
• Sleepovers
• Walking to school or the shops alone
• Ear piercing

(R) This episode originally aired 28/8/23.

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Related links: 

• Everyone Else Can Do It! Why Can’t I?
• Movies and Kids: When Is It Okay For Them To Watch That?
• Should our Young Children have Boyfriends or Girlfriends at School?
• When is it OK to Leave your Child Home Alone?
• Are Sleepovers OK?

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Is there tension and disagreement in your home when it comes to parenting? You are not alone! The most commonly asked question we receive is "How do you get on the same page in parenting?" We share three simple questions that can help to create alignment in your parenting-relationship, and make your family happier.

(R) This episode originally aired 5/9/23.

In this episode:

• Weekly couple’s meeting
• Three questions to ask
• Creating the space
• Daily habits
• Getting your systems right
• Finances, goals, holidays
• Creating alignment
• Parenting on the Same Page – A Happy Families webinar

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Related links: 

• Same Page Parenting [Article]
• What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree
• The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson
• Purchase the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit

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When our children are experiencing challenges or behaving in a challenging way, there are things we can do and say that will help them get through these rough times and transform our relationship with them in the process. We would love to hear the phrases you say to your children - record a voice memo here or email your recording to [email protected].

(R) This episode originally aired 30/5/22.

In this episode:

• The magic of an apology
• Correction and direction vs connection
• The power of 'yet'
• People matter, things don't
• You’ve gotta love the hills
• Unconditional love

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Related links: 

• Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing
• How to ‘Fix’ a Problem Child

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Purchase the webinar The Screaming Spiral or log in to your HF membership library to view

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It can be easy to forget who we were before becoming parents. But that’s part of the beauty of parenthood! Being a parent allows us to experience personal growth as we tap into new strengths and creativity. We get to make intentional choices about who we will become, and to change the trajectory of our lives. Why then do we often think that we're boring now that we’re parents?

(R) This episode originally aired 13/10/22.

In this episode:

• Kylie’s friend who feels lost after becoming a mum
• "I'm so boring!"
• Ideas for creativity through those hard years when you feel exhausted
• Why we keep growing all throughout life
• Finding joy in the mundane
• Missing life before kids
• Dan Gilbert: The psychology of your future self | TED

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Related links: 

• How Being a Mum Can Pump Up Your Résumé
• Life Lessons Every Child (And Adult) Can Learn

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Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and  author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people.

 (R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22.

Topics included in this episode –

• The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink
• Why do people say that they don’t have regrets?
• Your regrets say a lot about you as a person
• Your regrets can inform your future decisions
• Reframing regret
• Inward, outward, forward
• “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing
• Dan’s advice for time poor parents
• Normalising the emotion of regret
• Talk to your kids about your regrets
• Dan shares some of his regrets

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Related links: 

• Learn more about Dan Pink & his books
• #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could?

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Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course

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