Send us a text

Pete Axthelm once said he tried to quit drinking for three days — and couldn’t cope. He died at 47, convinced that life without alcohol wasn’t survivable. That sentence stopped me cold, because for many of us, it’s painfully familiar.

In this episode, Steve and I talk about why quitting alcohol feels less like a choice and more like standing at the edge of a cliff. We explore the uncomfortable truth that for many alcoholics, alcohol wasn’t just the problem — it was the solution. It was how we coped with anxiety, fear, anger, and everyday life.

We unpack what actually happens in the brain when alcohol is removed, why early sobriety feels unbearable, and how alcohol lies by convincing us we can’t cope without it. We also talk about why trying to do this alone can be dangerous, when medical help may be necessary, and why the feeling that “this is how I’ll feel forever” isn’t true.

Most importantly, we talk about learning to cope over time — not instantly. The 12 steps, meetings, and fellowship aren’t about willpower or perfection; they’re a slow, imperfect way to build real coping skills after years of numbing. One day at a time. One step at a time. Sometimes just borrowing someone else’s confidence until you find your own.

If you’re standing at the edge, wondering how you’re supposed to live without alcohol, this conversation is for you.

Check out the referenced article, highly recommended about Pete Axthelm in Sports Illustrated back in 2021.

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.