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ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”?

This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside.

We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to have a problem, and how the slow decline of high-functioning drinking erodes everything from your health to your happiness.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m still holding it together,” this episode is for you.

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It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where being sober still feels weird, like barbecues, work events, neighbors, and family get-togethers. They share their own stories, what to say and what not to say, how to keep it simple, and why most people do not care as much as we think they do.

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Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people who have wronged us.

Inspired by CHiPs star Larry Wilcox’s story about forgiving Erik Estrada after years of bitterness, the guys talk about what forgiveness really means in recovery and how it connects to humility, prayer, and emotional sobriety.

From praying for the people who make you angry to letting go of that need to be right, this episode is all about finding freedom from the poison of resentment, even when your ego fights you every step of the way.

Larry Wilcox clip is from Still Here Hollywood with Steve Kmetko.

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Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery with overachiever energy (yes, she read the entire Big Book cover to cover) to surviving a literal hurricane without picking up a drink, Rebecca shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of staying sober.

We talk about the myth of “normal drinking,” why comparison is the thief of joy, and how choosing to reset and surrender can actually bring more peace and freedom. Rebecca’s story is honest, raw, and full of hope for anyone still wondering if life without alcohol can be fulfilling.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomfortable—it brought me back to the unpredictability and abuse I grew up with around alcohol. In this episode, Steve and I dig into why being around drunk crowds can feel so unsettling in sobriety, how our pasts shape those reactions, and the strategies we use to stay safe when the world around us is soaked in booze.

If you’ve ever wondered why drinking environments hit you hard—or how to handle them without risking your recovery—you’re not alone. This is a real, honest conversation about triggers, boundaries, and what sobriety teaches us when we’re face-to-face with sloppy drunks.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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Some weeks, the world feels like too much. Shocking news, painful anniversaries, and even everyday moments can stir up old fears and anxieties. For those of us in recovery, those feelings used to send us straight to a drink or a destructive behavior.

In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like when the news cycle, memories of 9/11, and even walking into a school can trigger fear, stress, and overwhelm. We explore how Steps 6 and 7 — and other tools from recovery — help us let go of what we can’t control, ask for help, and find peace without picking up a drink.

If you’ve ever felt shaken by the world around you, this conversation is for you. You don’t have to carry every burden — and you don’t have to face it alone.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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What really keeps people sober: faith, science, or a mix of both?

In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the tension—and surprising overlap—between faith-based recovery in AA and evidence-based approaches like therapy, medication, and new medical research. Matt shares a personal struggle with restless legs and sleep issues, along with his journey using weight loss medication, which sparks a bigger conversation: Can science offer the same kind of hope and healing that prayer and spirituality do?

From GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic, to meditation, to the evolving role of AA in modern recovery, this episode explores whether sobriety is best rooted in faith, science, or some combination of the two.

If you’ve ever wondered whether the future of recovery looks more like a Big Book or a lab report, this conversation is for you.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was originally designed to be a sponsor in your pocket when there were no meetings to attend. So why do Matt J and Steve insist you shouldn't read it solo? In this honest conversation, they explore why this 1939 "textbook" hits different when you share it with others.

From sponsor relationships to Big Book meetings, discover why interpretation matters and how hearing someone else's take on a passage can crack open meanings you've missed for years. Matt shares his EMDR therapy insights that mirror the "circle" of step work, while Steve gets real about those times when you just want to stay pissy (and why that's okay sometimes).

Whether you find the Big Book boring, outdated, or life-changing—or all three—this episode breaks down why community reading transforms a difficult text into a powerful tool for recovery. Plus, learn their weekly sponsor routine and why you should always be working a step.

Perfect for anyone curious about the Big Book's role in modern recovery or looking to deepen their program. Remember: it's not about reading it perfectly, it's about reading it together.

This episode of The Sober Friends Podcast is brought to you by Matt W., who bought us two coffees. Thank you for helping keep the conversation going!

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dig into Step 12 of the program: carrying the message and practicing the principles in all areas of life. They share personal stories of being welcomed into meetings, what it felt like to get help in those first shaky days, and why giving back to newcomers is essential for staying sober. From answering hotline calls to simply saying “welcome” at a meeting, Step 12 isn’t about preaching — it’s about showing up, sharing your story, and remembering that sobriety is something we can only keep if we give it away.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

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We say alcohol is the problem — but for me, alcohol was the solution to something deeper. In this episode, I share my story of living with ADHD and a new diagnosis of Level 1 autism, and how both shaped my drinking and recovery. From masking in social situations to battling boredom, anxiety, and racing thoughts, I talk about why alcohol became my coping tool and what I’ve learned in sobriety about finding healthier solutions.

Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life.

👉 Subscribe for free at soberfriendspod.substack.com

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.