Sober Friends

E260: Lowering the Bar - Why 'Just Staying Sober' is a Championship Win


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It’s mid-January, the "Pink Cloud" of New Year’s resolutions has evaporated, and for many in the Northeast, we are staring down a "marathon of dark, cold, and gloomy days". In this episode, Matt and Steve get honest about the "January Gloom" and a phenomenon many newcomers face but rarely understand: Anhedonia.

If you feel numb, bored, or like life has lost its "charm" since the holidays ended, you aren't doing recovery wrong—your brain is simply healing. We discuss why trying to "fix everything at once" (the gym, the diet, the 5:00 AM wake-up call) is often a recipe for relapse, and why sometimes, the greatest victory you can have is simply putting your head on the pillow sober.

What We Discuss:

  • The Dopamine Gap: Understanding Anhedonia—the temporary inability to feel pleasure while your brain chemistry recalibrates after years of "instant gratification" drinking.
  • The Danger of the "Great Reset": Why piling on too many new habits in January can burn you out and why you should "lower the bar" for your own success.
  • The Default Plan: Steve shares his "built-in default" for when life gets stressful and why a meeting is his safe haven even when he doesn't feel like going.
  • Sobriety in the "Muck": Dealing with physical setbacks like Lyme disease and surgery recovery, and learning to prioritize rest over "hustle".
  • Tuesday Morning Clarity: The power of "playing the tape" and how sobriety allows us to show up for our families in ways we never could while drinking.

Key Resources Mentioned:

  • Podcast: Sober Powered with Gill Tietz (for a deep dive into the science of addiction).
  • Book: Never Enough by Judith Grisel (on the neuroscience of the addicted brain).
  • Book: Living Sober.

"If you're in your first 30 days and you didn't drink today—that's a lot. That's damn good. Lower the bar, baby." — Matt J. 

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Sober FriendsBy Matt J

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