Enneagram and Marriage

When you're upset in your relationship, do you ever villainize your spouse? You're not alone if you do, in fact, it's part of human nature to rate oneself as above average and to give oneself grace while fault-finding in one's spouse, especially in the post-honeymoon years. But you're not average, you're right about that part. You're doing your work, and today Christa walks you through doing just that as we cover every Enneagram type in marriage and the ways you can watch out for both villainizing your spouse as well as finding the grace for them that you give yourself. With this mini-midweek message, may you reach farther across the table to your truest trust, love, and attachment yet!

Show notes:

Pre-order Christa's new book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing  here at Amazon now

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!  

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When you have family, fame, and faith, plus a Dove-award-winning musical career with millions of downloads (Sanctus Real, Matt Hammitt), life can feel a bit like coasting. Yet today, recording artist Matt Hammitt, Enneagram 9, reminds us that the space of Enneagram 9 must not only bring comfort but connection for relationships to truly thrive. In this candid interview, Matt walks us through his story of truly leading with love and outlines the radical steps he took to be in his marriage, and not just working for his marriage, and how the time and connection he has truly gained have been incredible. He also walks us through his story of church hurt, offering listeners hope for redemption and reconstruction for a life with God and community in their own personal way.

Show notes:

Order Matt's book Lead Me here

Listen to Matt's songs here!

Watch Christa's interview with Matt Hammit on YouTube here

Visit Matt's website for his work, devotional, and more stories and videos here!

 

Pre-order Christa's new book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing  here at Amazon now

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!  

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 Do you ever notice how when your emotions get flooded, you end up finding yourself on the wrong side of regulation? Your relationships, especially those closest bonds, suffer while you put on a happy face for everyone at work and community. When this happens, you need tools, and this mini-podcast is a meditation for each of us when we hit every space on the Enneagram. This episode was created so you could truly find refreshment and a bit of rest with us if you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed in the midst of it all. Take a few joyful moments with us so you can rejuvenate without finding yourself in your vices and fixations.

Show links:

Join our launch team here!

Pre-order Christa's new book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing here at Amazon now or here at Baker Books (this site offers a 40% off pre-order discount)! Save your receipts for pre-launch bonuses also!!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!  

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How does your Enneagram personality type specifically get in the way of your deepest attachments in marriage? Without a safe language, you're probably deeply uncomfortable talking about the vulnerabilities that are preventing you from truly bonding intimately. Today we will talk from an attachments framework about each and every Enneagram type in marriage and the ways you can become closer together in this brand new episode. Christa finally shares the big E + M news also! Listen up, now for special bonuses!!

Show links:

Pre-order Christa's new book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing here at Amazon now or here at Baker Books (this site offers a 40% off pre-order discount)! Save your receipts for pre-launch bonuses also!!

Watch the episode on YouTube here

Head over to Christa's author page!

Here's the Attachment Project Quiz!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!  

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Do you ever feel like your spouse truly misses out on what your greatest attachment needs are? You may even wonder occasionally if you're doomed as a couple for not agreeing on what secure attachment really looks and feels like. In today's mini-episode, Christa walks you through the reasons those who lead with their hearts, minds, or bodies, tend to feel differently about what secure attachment really looks like, and more, how you can begin to live life more securely together. This is an episode you don't want to miss as you lean into love and into one another with an understanding of your mutual strengths and shadows.

Today's show links:

Here's the Attachment Project Quiz!

Post episode: Congrats to winners of the last episode's contest on Monday @rhhorstman and @annamariereilly for guessing Kate and Adam's types (9 and 5) correctly, as well as to all of the others who did as well (and thanks for playing even if you didn't!! They win one of Kate's brand new Enneagram books and one of our Supper Sleuths Mystery Dinner Games!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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As you kick back a bit from work this opening summer Monday, we hope you take some time to chill during this fun conversation together with author Kate Hallock. As you learn about Kate, her husband, and their process for undertaking the first Enneagram mystery novel, Nine Ways to Die: An Enneagram Murder Mystery, we also have a mystery to solve together right on air! Join us here to examine what type Kate and her husband are for a chance to win a copy of Kate's novel and one of our mystery dinner games!

Post episode: Congrats to winners of the contest @rhhorstman and @annamariereilly for guessing Kate and Adam's types (9 and 5) correctly, as well as to all of the others who did as well (and thanks for playing even if you didn't!! They win one of Kate's brand new Enneagram books and one of our Supper Sleuths Mystery Dinner Games!

Watch the live interview with Christa and Kate on YouTube!

Get Kate's book

Find Kate's bio and Instagram here!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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We each bring something valuable and beautiful to our marriages in terms of worldview but also bring an accompanying shadow to the relationship as well. Today we are talking about what each of us brings in terms of worldview to our marriage via our Enneagram type. We are also going through an exercise that gives you briefly a chance to move toward one another when you hit a roadblock in achieving your goals together.

Today's show links:

 Check out Dr. Wyatt, PsyD relationship course starting this week for those who want to dive in deeper with tips and practice coaching with an ICF certified program!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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Did you feel different when you fell in love? Love does indeed change our brains, and wonderfully, love can even support us with emotional bonding. However, the intensity of love can also have negative effects on the activity within the brain. 

Today on the podcast, we demystify the brain and practically hack our way through the best ways we can allow our thinking and activities to support us in our goals together!

 Join Christa with an exclusive look at how to boost your brain with healthy hacks as we sit at the feet of neuroscientist Dr. Krissy Thomas, Ph.D, Enneagram Three. It's a powerful and fun episode as we dissect the very best ways to boost your joy and life together!

Learn the hacks around:

• Why & how crying releases endorphins as stress is released
• The sympathetic & parasympathetic nervous process
• Dopamine (our feel-good brain chemical)
• Serotonin (a mood-boosting brain chemical)
• Oxytocin (a relationship, "love chemical")
• Endorphins (natural pain relievers for relieving mood)
• Mirror neurons and how we can help each other
• Sleep and its housekeeping role for our life and marriage
• And SO much more!

Show Links:

Watch the live interview with Christa and Dr. Krissy on YouTube!

Visit Dr. Krissy on her fabulous Instagram for regular brain hacks!

Visit Dr. Krissy's website here for more info about her and her life coaching assistance!

Congrats to our contest winner @KollerCommentary

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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In this unabashedly romantic and just-for-fun episode, Christa and Hannah curl up in the 7 space with some decaf chai and invite listeners to grab a cup and join them in another personality-type excavation! This time we invite our audience to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan characters with us across their cinematic history of slow-burn and enemies-to-lovers tropes together. We visit the magical mutual pining in Sleepless in Seattle, revisit the modern Pride and Prejudice in You've Got Mail, and make a brief touchdown into Joe Versus the Volcano in this new rom-com Enneagram typing episode just for you! 

Show Links:

Contest fun! We invite you to cast your votes of each type on our Instagram account for this episode too for a chance to win a pairing guide for you or a friend here!

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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You need to know exactly what's getting in the way of the two of you in conflict, not only in terms of Enneagram type issues but also in terms of your meta-communication. In fact, if conflicts aren't addressed, they'll continue to control you from under the surface of your vices. On this brand new episode just for you, we are making the goal-getting deep and meaningful but also fun and practical with #1 rated marriage podcast experts Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage joining us. Christa first takes you briefly through the Enneagram system type by type vices so you can detect which issues you’re likely struggling with bringing into conflict and then we’ll leave it to Tony and Alisa to show us their creative and very helpful structure for processing conflict together better than ever before.

 Show Links:

Tony and Alisa's new book (with visuals!) on breaking conflict cycles is right here!

Check out One Extraordinary Marriage for So Many Tips!! 

You can also watch on the E + M YouTube Channel here!

www.conflictresolutionbook.com

Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod

Facebook @enneagramandmarriage   Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!

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