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The judgment that we had felt, the pressure and the demands to become what somebody else needed us to be so that they didn't feel anything uncomfortable, they didn't feel judgment any ridicule any self-doubt. Becoming what they needed us to be so that they felt adored and loved. We ended putting those same demands on ourselves, we take that narcissistic power that we've experienced, and we point that power against ourselves. We are still trying to become what they wanted us to be; that was the only way we were lovable. Anything short of that perfection others were seeking, and we feel like we have failed ourselves. Enter self-hate and self-doubt. 

There are tapes of negativity, judgment, and shame that we have adopted that run in our subconscious on an endless look telling us that we are not good enough and not worthy of love and acceptance for who we are. These tapes become our identity, and most of us don't even know that they are there. We see ourselves through the words, sights, beliefs, and feelings or another; we believe that it is our vision of ourselves when it's the narcissist within us

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