The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Ep 029: Friendship and Your Mother Wound


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How do our relationships with our mother impact the way we connect with friends today?

Friends are essential pillars of support and companionship in our lives. They offer us not only camaraderie but also emotional sustenance and validation. However, our ability to form and maintain these friendships can be deeply influenced by our relationship with our mothers. When our mothers couldn't provide us with the emotional support we needed, we might unconsciously seek these from our friends instead which can lead to overcommitting in friendships, where we strive to be everything to everyone. We may fear disappointing others if we don't constantly give and sacrifice for them.

The journey of healing begins from within. Sometimes what we fail to realize is that the wounds we carry from our relationship with our mother can never be healed simply by being the best friend for others but through being a better friend for yourself. It requires acknowledging our own needs, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to prioritize our well-being without guilt or fear of disappointing others. 

In this episode, I will share insights into how overcommitting in friendships can be traced back to our relationships with our mothers.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:02:09) Overextending in friendships

(00:03:19) Healthy relationship requires reciprocity

(00:04:46) Accustomed to lack

(00:06:05) Are you struggling with the effects of a challenging relationship with your mother? Ready for change? Go to https://jenniferarnise.systeme.io/resolvewaitlist to join Resolve, our six-week group healing program, and start your journey to healing and self-discovery.

(00:07:02) Healthy friendships start with self

(00:08:04) Recognize your true feelings

(00:11:18) The process of building  better relationships

(00:13:11) Overcommitting in friendships 

(00:14:31) What does friendship mean to you?

(00:15:30) Start living your life

(00:17:01) Undo self-rejection and abandonment

(00:18:41) It's your job to rescue yourself.


Key Takeaways: 

"When we grow up and we get into friendship, we become obsessed with people thinking that we are all the things that our mother wasn't to us."– Jennifer Arnise

"You can only have healthy friendships when you start being a good friend to yourself."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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The Black Mother Wound PodcastBy Jennifer Arnise

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