Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today  

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Many of us started wearing masks before we even knew what that meant. We learned to be “the good girl,” “the smart one,” or “the strong one.” We tried to fit in, stay safe, and be who others wanted us to be. But somewhere along the way, we lost touch with who we really are.

Wearing a mask can make us feel protected, but it also keeps us from being seen. It’s tiring to always perform, to hide our real feelings, and to protect peace that was never truly ours.

Taking off the mask is the first step toward freedom. It means being honest about how you feel and allowing yourself to show up fully. It is choosing truth over performance and peace over perfection.

Healing begins when you stop pretending and start remembering who you are.
And who you are has always been enough.

In this episode, I get real about the survival strategy so many of us learned growing up in households where we didn’t always feel safe to be ourselves, MASKING. We’ll explore how masking shows up in your life as overgiving, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependency, and how it can keep you disconnected from your authentic self. You’ll learn how to spot your own patterns, understand their impact, and take steps to unmask safely. We talk about reconnecting with hidden parts of yourself, reclaiming your voice, and showing up fully without fear or performance.

“You can’t really maintain happiness, joy, or love if you’re not being your authentic self.” – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode snippet 

(00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:02:16) How masking begins as a survival skill

(00:05:35) The fear of being your true self

(00:06:36) The three masks: good girl, smart girl, independent girl

(00:11:07) Unmasking as a lifelong practice

(00:13:27) The emotional toll of hiding yourself

(00:16:32) Reconnecting with your inner little girl

(00:18:20) When masking becomes emotional abuse

(00:20:27) Mistaking assertiveness for authenticity

(00:21:55) The role of community in unmasking

Key Takeaways:

"You are trying to protect your future peace, but it’s at your own demise."

"Unmasking is how you come back and find her and give her a voice."

"You can’t really maintain happiness or joy or love if you’re not being your authentic self."

"Your unmasking is going to require you to throw the middle finger up at people."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram:

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today  

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Many Black women are taught from an early age to endure pain without flinching. We’re told that strength is survival, that silence is grace, and that independence is our crown. But what if the very thing we were praised for is what’s keeping us from healing?

Every time we swallow our pain, we lose a little more of ourselves. We get so used to showing up for everyone else that we stop showing up for our own hearts. We stay busy, productive, and dependable, all while our bodies whisper that we’re running on empty. 

The truth is, endurance isn’t the same as healing. Carrying pain doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us harder, more guarded, and disconnected from our softness. Healing starts when we stop glorifying struggle and begin to ask ourselves, “Why do I believe I have to hurt to prove my worth?”

In this episode, I talk about the hidden cost of having a high emotional pain tolerance and how what we often call strength is actually rooted in survival. From growing up with emotionally unavailable mothers to staying too long in relationships that drain us, I unpack how we’ve been taught to normalize pain and silence our needs. Together, we explore how to stop glorifying endurance, begin honoring our emotions, and rebuild a sense of safety within ourselves through rest, boundaries, and gentle self-compassion.

"You can be tender, you can be soft, you can be yourself and still let somebody know you’re not here to be played with." – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:03:39) High pain tolerance is a trauma response

(00:06:05) Being “the strong one” keeps us from healing

(00:08:04) Self-abandonment starts when we silence our needs

(00:10:10) Believing love must be earned through suffering

(00:13:00) How we ignore emotional pain and call it productivity

(00:16:10) Healing starts with feeling safe

(00:18:30) Real safety begins within

(00:20:30) Honor your emotion

(00:22:40) Pay attention to your physical needs

(00:23:40) Set boundaries and ask for help

(00:25:06) Feeling pain doesn’t mean you’re weak

(00:27:00) New forms of strength: Softness, rest, and self-compassion

Key Takeaways: 

"Your high tolerance for pain was created out of survival."

"You are so hard on yourself. No patience with yourself. You use pain as a motivator. You use it as something to get the job done."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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2.  Work with me one-on-one

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Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being dependable meant never changing. We were celebrated for our steadiness, for keeping things together, for being the ones others could count on. 

But no one told us that sometimes, the version of ourselves that everyone depends on is the one silently falling apart. We were praised for staying the course, even when that course was breaking our spirit. We were told that consistency made us good women, good daughters, and good mothers, even if that “goodness” demanded the quiet sacrifice of our joy.

The courage to change your mind is the courage to reclaim your life. It’s a declaration that you no longer belong to other people’s expectations. It’s the start of a new chapter where peace matters more than appearances, and authenticity weighs more than approval. Because real strength isn’t found in how long you can endure, it’s found in how boldly you can evolve.

In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, I talk about reclaiming the sacred right to shift, to outgrow, re-evaluate, and choose again without guilt or explanation. Together, we’ll unpack how early conditioning, religious expectations, and fear of punishment taught us to stay small and silent, even when our spirit was begging for something new.

“We get mad when we give our power to someone else and then they mishandle it, when the whole time, it was only ours to hold.” – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:11) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:04:09) You have the right to change your mind

(00:07:21) The cost of losing autonomy

(00:10:20) Fear of making mistakes

(00:11:13) Redefining irresponsibility

(00:13:04) Autonomy and the mother wound connection

(00:15:19) Learning to fall gracefully

(00:17:04) Stop seeking approval

(00:18:02) Get clear on what you really want

(00:20:16) Create a safe space within

(00:22:47) What does success look like for you?

(00:24:20) Celebrate yourself

(00:25:53) Train your inner girl

(00:27:30) The power of safe community

(00:28:19) Choose what’s true to you

Key Takeaways: 

“You have a right to change your mind. Every woman has a right to change their mind.”

“There’s a difference between knowing what you want and believing what you can have. Stop gaslighting yourself." 

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram:

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today  

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Many of us have learned to explain ourselves because, at some point, it felt like survival. As children, we wanted to avoid rejection, abandonment, or punishment, so we reached for words to soften the blow or gain approval. That habit often follows us into adulthood, where explaining becomes second nature.

But with every explanation, a quiet message slips through: Maybe I need permission to be myself. And over time, that can feel heavy, like you are carrying your life in someone else’s hands.

You don’t have to live that way. You don’t need to justify your choices, your boundaries, or your presence. Your worth is not up for debate. It was never earned through explanations, and it cannot be taken away by silence.

It is safe to pause. It is safe to say less. It is safe to remind your body, “We are okay. We are not in danger anymore.” Each time you do, you build trust with yourself. You show your inner child that she no longer has to hustle for approval.

You are free to live without apology, to stand in your truth without explanation, and to know deep in your bones that you are already enough.

In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, I break down the habit of overexplaining and why it keeps you stuck in self-abandonment. We’ll explore how overexplaining ties back to fear of rejection, abandonment, and punishment, and how it strips you of your autonomy. You’ll learn four practical steps to stop overexplaining, how to set boundaries without apology, and the importance of aftercare so your nervous system feels safe as you step into your authority.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:54) Resolve on Demand course is live
(00:05:15) Stop explaining yourself
(00:08:26) Explaining yourself is a form of self-abandonment
(00:11:49) The hard truth: no one is coming to save you
(00:12:14) Explaining as manipulation and bullying
(00:14:43) Step 1: Think before you respond
(00:16:47) Step 2: Decide what is the best way to answer
(00:17:52) Step 3: Don’t volunteer extra information
(00:19:41) Step 4: Stop apologizing for your choices
(00:21:16) Aftercare: regulating your nervous system
(00:23:04) Shake out the energy
(00:25:18) Nobody is the boss of you

Key Takeaways: 

"When you spend time overexplaining, you are trying to control how others perceive you."

"Get in alignment with your highest purpose, your highest joy, who you really are so you can have the life that you really want."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experien

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today  

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Many of us grow up searching for answers in the wrong places. Childhood disconnection, particularly from a mother, leaves a deep sense of longing and confusion. We fantasize about a fix, a solution, or some external force that will make life feel safe and whole. Many turn to spirituality, astrology, or crystals. While these tools can feel comforting, they sometimes become a way to escape our present reality rather than confront it.

The problem is when we rely on them instead of taking action. We avoid setting boundaries, making choices, or handling responsibilities. Life doesn’t change, confidence stays low, and healing gets stuck.

The solution is to combine spiritual practices with practical steps. Healing happens when we stay in our bodies, trust ourselves, and make intentional choices. Spirituality can guide us, but real change comes from taking action and claiming control of our own lives.

In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, we talk about how spirituality can sometimes stall healing when it’s used to escape life instead of taking action. Learn how to pair spiritual practices with real-world steps to reclaim your power, strengthen boundaries, and become the ultimate authority in your life. True transformation comes from showing up for yourself, not waiting for a miracle.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:19) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast
(00:02:52) Getting away restores your mind and soul
(00:07:19) Spirituality can actually block your healing if it’s an escape
(00:09:53) “Why doesn’t my mama love me?”
(00:14:15) 15 years deep in spirituality didn’t change my life
(00:17:24) Knowing a lot doesn’t mean your life changes
(00:20:02) Waiting for a rescue keeps you stuck
(00:22:42) Spirituality should complement self-authority
(00:25:19) Healing means staying in your body and making better choices
(00:27:17) Mother wounds heal through real relationships, not rituals
(00:28:05) You are in charge of your life
(00:29:55) There’s no power greater than your own

Key Takeaways: 

"Pair spirituality with practical actions."

"There is no power greater than you in your life. There isn't any. There is nothing more powerful than the power you have over your own life."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

In this episode, Jennifer Arnise discusses the importance of feeling safe enough to be your true self. She emphasizes that safety is crucial for establishing authority in one's life and explores how fear-based parenting can lead to relinquishing personal authority. 

Jennifer encourages listeners to practice self-acceptance and authenticity, highlighting the need to reparent oneself and create internal safety. She urges individuals to unleash their true selves and establish their own power, rather than seeking validation from others.

Takeaways

• Safety is essential for personal authority.
• Fear-based parenting can undermine self-trust.
• Reparenting oneself is crucial for self-acceptance.
• You must practice being your true self.
• Hiding your true self prevents genuine connections.
• Establish your own power instead of seeking it from others.
• You are worthy and deserving of love as you are.
• Reject societal pressures to conform.
• Healing requires action and practice.
• Authenticity leads to deeper self-satisfaction.

Sound Bites

• "You do exist and you do matter."
• "Reject the club, leave the club."
• "Establish your own fucking power."

Chapters

00:00

Establishing Safety to Be Yourself

09:53

Unleashing Your True Self

15:03

The Journey to Self-Acceptance

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**Join RESOLVE On-Demand at www.resolvehealingintensive.com**

In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, Jennifer Arnise shares her personal journey of self-discovery and the importance of centering oneself in decision-making. Through the lens of a home improvement project, she reflects on the tendency to consider external opinions over personal preferences, emphasizing the need to build an internal gaze that prioritizes self-acceptance and empowerment. The conversation also touches on the impact of upbringing and societal expectations on personal choices, ultimately encouraging listeners to embrace their individuality and make decisions that resonate with their true selves.
takeaways
It's important to prioritize your own preferences over others' opinions.
Decentering external validation is crucial for personal growth.
Building an internal gaze helps in making confident decisions.
Self-acceptance is a journey that requires practice.
You can't please everyone, so focus on what makes you happy.
Creating a personal space that reflects your identity is empowering.
Healing the mother wound involves reclaiming your authority.
Understanding who 'they' are can clarify your decision-making process.
Making choices for yourself can feel uncomfortable but is necessary.
Transformation in any area of life starts with self-awareness.
titles
Decentering External Opinions for Personal Growth
Building an Internal Gaze: The Key to Self-Acceptance
Sound Bites
"You have to build your tolerance."
"You can't make 100 theys happy."
"Stop playing in your own fucking face."
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Setting the Scene
00:58
Personal Reflections on Decision Making
04:08
Decentering External Opinions
09:58
Building an Internal Gaze
13:55
Bathroom Transformation and Conclusion

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Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.
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How we can stay connected and work together!

1.  Join RESOLVE On-Demand at www.resolvehealingintensive.com

In this episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, Jennifer Arnise shares a personal story about a DIY home renovation gone wrong, leading to a flood in her bathroom. Through this experience, she reflects on the importance of community, asking for help, and overcoming the belief that one must handle everything alone. 

She emphasizes the growth that comes from vulnerability and the necessity of building connections with others for support. The conversation highlights the journey of healing from emotional wounds and the significance of recognizing one's worthiness of help and community.

Takeaways
Building community is essential for emotional support.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Mistakes can lead to unexpected blessings and growth.

Vulnerability allows for deeper connections with others.
Old beliefs about self-sufficiency can hinder personal growth.
You deserve to be supported, regardless of past mistakes.
Community can be found in unexpected places.

Learning from others can enhance personal skills and knowledge.
It's important to challenge the belief that you must do everything alone.
Healing involves reprogramming negative beliefs about self-worth.

Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Context
05:29
The Importance of Community and Asking for Help
17:28
Lessons from Mistakes and Growth
29:05
Building Connections and Overcoming Isolation

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Today, Jennifer dives into the sneaky ways we become the villain in our own stories—through resistance, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage—and how to step back into alignment with our higher selves.

You’ll hear personal reflections, real talk, and practical steps for recognizing resistance, counteracting it with evidence, and reclaiming your power to move forward with confidence.

👉 Special Offer:
Jennifer’s Resolve Healing Intensive is now available On Demand for just $97 (with payment plan available). Access her full healing framework right now—no waiting, no relaunches. www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com

⏱️ Episode Chapters

[00:00] Introduction: Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast. 

[02:15] Resolve On Demand: Jennifer introduces her course for healing the Black Mother Wound. [05:30] Nesting Phase: Jennifer discusses her current life changes and priorities. 

[10:45] Resistance Realization: A personal epiphany about internal resistance. 

[15:00] Identifying Resistance: How to recognize and question your own resistance. 

[20:30] The Role of Self-Love: Using self-love to combat limiting beliefs. 

[25:45] Evidence of Success: Counteracting resistance with past achievements. 

[30:00] Conclusion: Embracing change and moving forward with confidence.

✨ Takeaway:
Resistance is not your truth—it’s programming. When you observe it, challenge it with evidence, and step back into alignment with your higher self, you stop being the villain in your own story.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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Sometimes, it feels like everything has to get done perfectly, all at once.  Often, we carry the heavy belief that if everything isn’t done just right, we won’t be loved or accepted. This pressure can drain us, pushing us to say yes when we want to say no, and to ignore our own needs to keep others happy. But this cycle only leads to exhaustion and emptiness.

True healing begins when you give yourself permission to slow down and accept that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s about setting boundaries and choosing what truly matters, then letting go of the rest without guilt or shame.

When you start treating yourself with kindness and patience, you build a new relationship with yourself, one rooted in self-love and grace.

Remember, healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself with compassion, even on imperfect days. You deserve to feel loved and accepted, not because of what you do, but because of who you are. And when you truly believe that, your whole life begins to change.

In this episode, I reflect on how my mother wound shaped my need to control everything and take on too much. Sharing insights from a recent girls trip, I talk about learning to accept my limits, set boundaries, and stop making everything a priority. Tune in to learn how embracing your limitations can create space for true healing, self-love, and healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:10) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound podcast

(00:03:54) Feeling loved and expanding capacity for love

(00:05:02) Mother wounds shape loneliness and relationships

(00:07:46) Making emotional deposits into yourself

(00:10:21) Healing changes self-worth and presence

(00:13:00) Healing attracts healthier relationships

(00:14:05) Accept your limits

(00:16:26) Burnout from unrealistic priorities

(00:21:13) It’s okay to shift priorities and say no

(00:22:07) Reevaluate your timelines

(00:24:20) Set boundaries and say no

(00:26:03) Release resentment and regret

(00:27:12) Prioritize with self-compassion, not fear

(00:28:31) Everything can’t be a priority

Key Takeaways: 

"People who try to do everything and make everything a priority generally have poor boundaries."

"If you press yourself so hard, you create stress and resentment that feels normal."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise