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Who am I, beyond who my mother has defined me to be?

For many women, the relationship with their mother shapes how they see themselves. A mother’s role is often central to a child’s sense of safety, love, and identity. But as we grow older, it’s important to understand that, no matter how complicated our relationship with our mother may be, it doesn’t have to define us or limit who we can become.

While a mother plays an important role in our early years, our identity should not be fully shaped by her actions, approval, or opinions.

We are more than the struggles of our past or the expectations set by our families. True healing starts when we realize that our lives, our choices, and our future are not determined by the challenges we’ve had with our mothers.

Healing happens when we let go of old beliefs and accept who we are becoming. By embracing ourselves and standing firm in our truth, we free ourselves to live the life we deserve. Our journey is ours to create, and the power to change lies within us.

In this episode, I unpack how your relationship with your mother shapes your identity and how it doesn’t have to define your future. I share practical steps to break free from these patterns, cut the “energetic umbilical cord,” and release shame. You’ll learn how to embrace your autonomy, honor your healing journey, and reclaim the authentic you. This episode is all about moving beyond the past, stepping into your power, and truly living your life on your terms. 

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:11) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:02:27) Being yourself is good enough
(00:06:57) Invest in yourself
(00:10:38) Your relationship with your mother doesn’t define you
(00:13:17) Our mother is not our source
(00:16:22) Create your own sense of self
(00:19:09) Finding yourself through bold leaps
(00:24:32) Healing and playfulness
(00:27:21) Pay attention to your life
(00:28:34) Community is a pillar of re-parenting
(00:31:41) You are safe

Healing is Being Yourself - https://youtu.be/q72ZMAj5S9o?si=Jrav1LdHIFlMVH1G

Key Takeaways: 

"Don't let fear, shame, guilt, apprehension, or anxiety stop you from exploring who you are."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

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Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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Reclaiming your space can be difficult, especially when it feels like you’re not being seen or heard. It can be tough to feel like you matter, which makes it harder to take up space in the world. However, sometimes, reclaiming your space means making small changes that help you feel seen and heard.

Healing is a journey, and it doesn’t follow a straight line. Embrace the discomfort, as it’s often part of the process. Every small act of self-recognition helps build trust with yourself, even when things feel difficult.

To heal, you must learn to take care of yourself the way you would a child—gently and with love. Acknowledge your needs and give yourself the freedom to express who you are without judgment or fear.

Ultimately, as you make small yet meaningful changes, you are not just healing—you are reclaiming the space that is truly yours. Every step you take is a reminder that you have the power to create a life where you feel seen, heard, and valued.

In this episode, I explore the concept of showing up authentically, both visually and audibly, without abandoning ourselves in the process. As I reflect on my own journey of healing, I share how I’ve learned to embrace my uniqueness, from wearing red lipstick as an act of resistance to discovering small ways to express myself. These practices allow me to be unapologetically myself, even in a world that often demands conformity. Join me as I discuss the importance of trusting our inner selves and finding ways to recognize and honor who we truly are.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:10) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:01:11) Challenging traditional ideas of professionalism
(00:03:08) “I want to be myself “
(00:04:50) Embracing your visual self
(00:09:16) Whatever comes up is meant for you
(00:11:21) Claiming my existence
(00:15:10) What would make you feel better?
(00:17:00) How can your inner child show up visually?
(00:19:31) Face triggers and fears
(00:21:47) Get used to hearing your voice
(00:23:14) The Throat Chakra
(00:25:39) See who you really are
(00:27:17) You are doing an amazing job!

Key Takeaways: 

"Sometimes you just need something small you can hold on to, like turquoise eyeliner."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

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Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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Healing and growth take time, and it all starts with being kind to yourself. A lot of us grew up with the idea of "tough love"—thinking that beating ourselves up would lead to success. But that’s not the case. You can’t shame yourself into happiness or worthiness. True healing comes from love, not from harsh criticism.

Take small steps, and be patient with yourself. Every moment of self-care, every kind thought you have about yourself, is progress. When you make peace with where you are right now, that’s when real transformation starts. Remember, you don’t need to be hard on yourself to be strong—you’re already strong by simply being yourself.

Success should feel good, not overwhelming. Your nervous system should stay intact, and you should enjoy the journey, not beat yourself up for every imperfection.  

It’s all about changing the way you see yourself and learning to celebrate your own wins. It may take time, but keep practicing. Every time you appreciate yourself, you're strengthening your self-worth, and you’ll see positive changes in both your inner and outer world. Keep going, be gentle with yourself, and remember—you are already enough.

In this episode, I’m excited to share the importance of celebrating yourself on the healing journey. As we kick off the "Jumpstarting Your Healing" series for 2025, I encourage you to embrace self-love and honor your growth. Tune in as I discuss the power of self-recognition, building self-worth, and how healing the mother wound starts with appreciating and congratulating yourself. It’s time to create a new narrative where you lead the applause for your journey.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:12) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:02:11) You Can't Heal While Beating Yourself Up
(00:05:05) Success Is Being Proud of Yourself
(00:07:59) Autonomy requires recognition
(00:11:20) Appreciate yourself
(00:15:42) Celebrate one thing about yourself each day
(00:17:59) Track your wins to build confidence
(00:21:25) Start breaking cycles
(00:23:31) Practice self-kindness
(00:25:06) Stop letting others define your worth
(00:27:14) Make a list of 30 things you love about you

Key Takeaways: 

"The most powerful thing you can do in your life is to have an appreciation practice."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

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How do you reset your life and embrace your true self?

For many of us, the new year brings a sense of pressure to start over or make big changes, but for those who have faced emotional pain or life challenges, the idea of beginning again can feel overwhelming. We may doubt whether it’s even possible to start fresh or heal from the wounds we carry.

Resetting your life begins with understanding that healing is about progress, not perfection. It’s about reconnecting with yourself and listening to parts of you that have been ignored. A key step is reconnecting with your inner child—the part of you that holds your dreams and desires. By listening to this voice, you can rediscover what truly matters and find clarity on your healing journey.

Take the first step today: pause and reflect on what your inner child needs to feel seen, heard, and loved. Allow yourself to embrace this process of healing, and trust that every small step you take is a step toward rediscovering your true self. You have the power to reset your life—start now and create the future you deserve.

In this episode, I’m kicking off a new year by talking about the power of fresh starts. As we step into 2025, it’s the perfect time to reset, heal, and embrace the changes that matter most to you. I’ll share how to build trust with yourself, tap into your inner child, and take simple steps to move forward. If you’re ready to start the year with intention and clarity, this episode is for you. Let’s make 2025 a year of transformation.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:22) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:01:39) A time for reset
(00:03:36) Introducing the Healing Series
(00:04:42) Plan for the new year
(00:06:00) Podcast from where I’m most me
(00:08:41) Believing in myself
(00:11:51) How to reset your life
(00:13:21)  Prioritize the smallest steps to big change
(00:17:10) Re-parenting is self-mastery
(00:19:30) 3 Simple Ways to Reset Your Life for 2025
(00:21:41) Your dreams matter
(00:22:31) You’re safe now

Key Takeaways: 

"I talk myself out of trusting myself. I talk myself out of believing myself."

"Building a happy and healthy relationship with yourself... this is what healing is about."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today

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How do you create a life of safety?

For many of us, especially those who have faced emotional pain or trauma, feeling safe can seem out of reach. When we’ve experienced rejection or abandonment, it can be hard to trust and feel secure, even in our own lives.

Creating safety starts with understanding that it’s not just about being physically safe—it’s about feeling calm, secure, and free to be yourself. When we don’t feel safe, we are always on alert, reacting to life instead of living it fully. This can keep us stuck in patterns that prevent us from experiencing peace and happiness.

To create safety, we need to start by recognizing that we have the power to make it happen. It takes courage to heal and face the past, but it’s possible. We also need to learn to trust ourselves and set boundaries that protect our peace.

Building safety is about loving and accepting yourself. As you heal and create a safe space within, you can live authentically and embrace life with confidence. When you feel safe, you open the door to joy, love, and true freedom. Creating safety is the first step toward living a life full of peace and purpose.

In this episode, I invite you to journey with me as we explore the essential role safety plays in the healing process. I’ll share how cultivating a sense of safety within ourselves creates the foundation for love, self-care, and transformation. We’ll discuss how a lack of safety impacts our relationships and sense of self, and how embracing safety can be the first step toward building a life rooted in love and wholeness.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:08) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:03:16) Safety: The foundation of healing
(00:04:46) Safety is love
(00:06:22) Why don't we feel safe? 
(00:08:45) Not safe enough
(00:10:12) How the absence of safety shapes our choices
(00:13:10)  Learn to keep yourself safe
(00:16:18) Safety comes with a choice
(00:18:08) The beauty of feeling safe
(00:21:32) Feeling safe starts with taking care of you

Key Takeaways: 

"When you can't experience true joy, purpose, and peace, it's because you don't feel safe enough to relax."

"Shame is no safety at all."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today

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How do you uncover your true talents and purpose?

This question speaks to a deep desire many of us share: the need to connect with who we are at our core and live a life aligned with our unique gifts.

 For those of us carrying the wounds of a strained relationship with our mother can feel especially daunting. Growing up without the validation of your authentic self can leave you unsure of your direction and disconnected from your inner strengths.

Reclaiming your purpose starts with understanding yourself on a deeper level—separating who you truly are from who you were conditioned to be. It requires courage, healing, and the willingness to rediscover the passions and values that make you unique.

Uncovering your talents and purpose is a journey of self-discovery, creativity, and courage. It’s about embracing what makes you unique and stepping into the fullness of who you are, unapologetically. As we explore this path, let our curiosity guide us and trust that our purpose will unfold in alignment with our gifts.

In this episode, I answer a listener's question about uncovering their talents and purpose. We’ll explore how healing the Black mother wound can open the door to discovering your authentic self. I’ll discuss the importance of reconnecting with your inner child, embracing your innate gifts, and building a deeper relationship with yourself. Together, we’ll reflect on childhood passions, values, and the importance of distinguishing talents from vocation. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about aligning your creativity, joy, and purpose to live authentically and intentionally.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:00:10) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast
(00:03:09) How do you uncover your true talents and purpose?
(00:07:52) Find joy in your gifts
(00:10:38) What were the things that excited you as a child?
(00:14:02) Own what brings you joy
(00:22:52) Purpose is meant to fill you first
(00:25:08) Joy leads to purpose
(00:27:15) The vision is yours to see
(00:28:24) Celebrate your progress

Key Takeaways: 

"You have to be tapped into your authentic self to truly uncover your talents, purpose, and gifts."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today

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Is it too late to be happy?

We all long for a life filled with joy, peace, and fulfillment. Deep down, we believe happiness should be an enduring part of our lives, no matter the challenges we face. Yet, as the years pass, we may wonder if life’s disappointments and missed chances mean we’ve run out of time to find happiness.

The truth is, it’s never too late to be happy.

The key lies in shifting how we view our lives and ourselves. It’s about embracing where you are right now and making a conscious decision to nurture joy, even in the smallest moments. Sometimes, that means letting go of the past and forgiving yourself for mistakes.

Happiness doesn’t require a perfect life or freedom from pain. It’s about finding moments of gratitude amid the chaos, embracing who you are today, and allowing yourself to grow in new directions. Happiness is still possible—right here, right now. All it takes is believing you deserve it and giving yourself permission to try.

I will share how embracing self-appreciation and gratitude can transform your journey to happiness. I’ll discuss how finding joy in the little moments and accepting where you are in life can shift your mindset. If you’re ready to embrace happiness, I’ve got some tips to help you get started. Tune in to learn how small shifts in perspective can create big changes and how to be kind to yourself along the way.

"We can pretend to be happy, but we can't truly be happy because we have rooted our happiness in conditions outside of our control."– Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:02:22) Is it too late to be happy?

(00:05:30) Achieving happiness

(00:07:15) True happiness starts within

(00:09:00) Do I have a piss poor appreciation practice?

(00:10:00) “Maybe I can be happy” affirmation

(00:12:44) Reparenting: Let yourself be seen

(00:15:52) The lies of shame

(00:17:52) External approval won’t fulfill you

(00:19:40) How self-appreciation changes everything

(00:21:34) True value of happiness

Key Takeaways:

"We can pretend to be happy, but we can't truly be happy because we have rooted our happiness in conditions outside of our control."– Jennifer Arnise

"When you think you have nothing, appreciate the things you do have."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instag

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Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

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EP40: You Need to Start Paying Attention to Yourself

In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, host Jennifer Arnise shares her personal insights on the importance of self-care and the concept of reparenting oneself. 

Reflecting on her own experiences with rest and relaxation, Jennifer discusses the challenges of maintaining self-care routines, especially during the holidays. She emphasizes the significance of paying close attention to one's own needs and patterns to develop a healthier, more loving relationship with oneself. 

Jennifer also highlights the importance of understanding and accepting one's perceived flaws and encourages listeners to approach self-care with compassion and awareness. Additionally, she announces her return to her studio and thanks her community for their continued support during her recent move.

00:00 Introduction and Catching Up

00:53 The Importance of Rest and Self-Care

02:19 Understanding Human Design and Projectors

02:47 Creating a Dedicated Space for Creativity

03:45 Re-Entry Anxiety and Self-Understanding

04:55 Building a Healthy Relationship with Yourself

05:30 Reparenting and Self-Acceptance

15:18 Practical Tips for Self-Care and Preparation

23:00 Conclusion and Community Appreciation

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In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, host Jennifer Arnese explores her struggles with procrastination, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness—all stemming from her mother wound. She candidly shares her journey of healing, self-reprogramming, and building trust in her own abilities. Jennifer discusses the impact of childhood programming on adult behavior and the importance of acting on intuitive inspiration immediately. This unplanned, raw conversation aims to resonate with listeners facing similar struggles and offers insight into navigating self-doubt and achieving personal growth.

00:00 Introduction to the Black Mother Wound Podcast
00:40 Facing Procrastination and Anxiety
04:50 The Impact of the Mother Wound
09:45 Navigating the Gap of Unworthiness
29:12 Trusting Yourself and Overcoming Doubt
35:28 Conclusion and Next Steps

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Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

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In this heartfelt episode of the Black Mother Wound podcast, I reflect on my personal healing journey amidst a staycation celebrating my 50th birthday. 

I encourage you to embrace your own paths to happiness and authenticity, despite the challenges. 
The episode underscores the importance of making choices for one's own growth and wellbeing. 

00:26 Personal Reflections and Birthday Celebration
02:06 The Emotional Impact of Self-Acknowledgment
05:10 Healing from the Mother Wound
08:23 Empowerment and Self-Approval
18:27 The Importance of Autonomy
26:23 Final Thoughts and Life Update

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