The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Ep 032: How I Established My True Identity Outside of Just Being My Mother’s Daughter


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Becoming your true self is a journey that involves understanding who you are and being brave enough to show it. It’s about making choices that align with your own values and not just following what others expect of you. In today’s world, many of us struggle to stay true to ourselves because we’re constantly bombarded with opinions and expectations from others. We might find ourselves trapped in roles and identities created by the expectations and influences of those around us—especially our mothers. Many people live under the shadow of their upbringing, which can be exhausting and disempowering. However, this does not have to define our lives.

Being your true self can be challenging, even though it’s who you really are inside. The pressures to fit in, fear of disapproval, self-doubt, and breaking old habits can make it tough. However, taking steps toward your true self is worth it. We must realize that living authentically brings a sense of peace and fulfillment that can’t be found by trying to meet others' expectations. It means giving ourselves permission to explore our own interests and make choices that reflect our true desires and values. It involves saying no to things that don't align with your values to prioritize your own well-being even if it means facing criticism. 

In this episode, I will guide you through the journey of discovering and embracing your authentic self. We’ll look at how to let go of old habits shaped by past relationships and learn about your core values, needs, and feelings to create a life that truly represents who you are.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:13) Impact of conditioned identity

(00:03:03) What makes up your identity?

(00:04:28) Living your values

(00:06:27) Understanding your needs

(00:08:06) What are your preferences?

(00:09:03) Understand your emotion

(00:11:18) The importance of authentic identity

(00:14:31) Embrace authenticity without fear

(00:17:48) The power of creating a new identity


Key Takeaways: 

"Oftentimes we have selected values that we're not actually living by."– Jennifer Arnise

"Pretending to be someone that you're not, is exhausting and it turns you into a liar and a manipulator."– Jennifer Arnise

"When you reparent yourself, you become your true self. "– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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The Black Mother Wound PodcastBy Jennifer Arnise

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