The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Ep 033: Should You Go No Contact?


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Everyone wants to have a positive, loving relationship with their mother. We all dream of a bond built on trust, kindness, and mutual respect. There is a special part of our hearts that aims to protect them, please them, and make them proud. We imagine that this deep connection will bring joy and fulfillment, and we work hard to achieve it, even when it feels challenging.

But what if, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves feeling more hurt and frustrated rather than loved and valued?

It’s important to understand that you don’t have to endure a relationship that continually causes you stress and sadness. Valuing yourself means recognizing when a relationship is harmful and making the choice to protect your own mental and emotional health. Going no contact, though a difficult decision, can sometimes be necessary to stop the cycle of pain and start healing. Choosing to prioritize your own well-being is not an easy path, but it is often the first step toward finding peace and building healthier relationships.

In this episode, I will share with you the challenges and benefits of going "no contact" with your mother, especially when the relationship is causing you stress, pain, and emotional strain. We'll explore what it means to take that step, why some people feel it's necessary, and the benefits and challenges that come with it.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:01:25) What does “no contact” mean? 

(00:02:08) The emotional cost of protecting yourself from your mother

(00:05:25) The burden of protecting your mother’s feelings

(00:07:36) Choose yourself

(00:08:51) Clearing the voice in your head

(00:12:05) The challenges of going no contact with your mother

(00:14:58) When family ties hurt

(00:17:45) Build other relationships

(00:19:40) Learning to live on my own

(00:23:19) Rules of no contact

(00:24:44) Start setting boundaries

Key Takeaways: 

"When we have to face reality, we have to bury the dream of the mother we've always wanted."– Jennifer Arnise

"Do not think that you can change your mother and make her the villain in the story when you have not taken responsibility for your own life."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound 

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The Black Mother Wound PodcastBy Jennifer Arnise

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