The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Ep 034: How to Stop Treating Yourself Like Sh!t, Part 2.


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In our quest for happiness, we often look outward for validation and affection. We frequently invest so much energy in seeking approval from those around us. We want to hear loving words, experience acceptance, and feel nurtured and valued. Many of us grow up longing for the kind of love we believe should come from our mothers. We look for it in relationships, achievements, and approval from others, thinking that these will fill the void within us. But the truth is, the love and acceptance we crave don’t necessarily come from others; they must first come from within.

We must realize that self-love is not a grand or complicated concept. It’s about understanding that we deserve to feel good and be kind to ourselves. When we learn to nurture ourselves, to speak kindly to ourselves, and to prioritize our own needs, we start to build a foundation of self-acceptance that is unshakable by external circumstances. It’s not about dismissing the value of external validation but about realizing that true contentment begins with self-love. Remember, self-love means treating ourselves with the same compassion we would offer a dear friend.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:02:03) Gratitude for support

(00:04:41) Cycle of self-blame

(00:06:10) Why we are our own worst critics

(00:07:41) Feel at home in yourself

(00:09:32) The manipulation of love

(00:12:19) Do you like yourself?

(00:14:43) Healing needs changing

(00:16:13) Showing up flawed

(00:18:27) How acting despite flaws reflects self-love

(00:21:40) Listen to yourself

(00:22:28) Treat yourself with curiosity

(00:24:56) How lightheartedness enhances self-comfort 

(00:25:58) Build healthier ways to treat yourself


Key Takeaways:  

"The reason I want you to heal your mother wound is so you can feel at home in your own body, your own mind so you can belong to someone."– Jennifer Arnise

"Healing your mother wound is about changing your actions, your habits and your patterns."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.


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The Black Mother Wound PodcastBy Jennifer Arnise

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