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We all love our mothers, but is that enough?

Healing reaches a point where the next step feels uncertain. The pain has been acknowledged—so what now? For us, that question centers on reconnecting with family. Do we want that? Can we trust ourselves to decide without being ruled by emotion?

We miss our loved ones, but fractured relationships complicate things. Are we reaching out for the right reasons? Missing someone doesn’t mean they’re safe or that things have changed. Reconnection doesn’t guarantee repair.

Conflict drains us. Can we engage while protecting our boundaries? 

The key is preparation. Any interaction must be intentional—not impulsive. We need a plan: pre-engagement, engagement, and post-engagement. We must be well-rested, emotionally regulated, and aware of our triggers. Setting the terms ensures we respond rather than react. This is how we trust ourselves again.

In this episode, I’m doing something special—our first coaching session on the podcast! I coach Alicia, a former Resolve student, through the challenges of reconnecting with her mother after years of no contact. We unpack the emotional weight of this decision, the role of self-trust, and why healing isn’t something you can perfect in isolation. Alicia shares how past conflicts would leave her spiraling for days, and we discuss how to break that cycle with a clear plan—pre-engagement, engagement, and post-engagement. I also share the power of curiosity over judgment, setting boundaries without justification, and shifting from a victim mindset to autonomy. Tune in as we explore how real healing comes from within—not through controlling others.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:05:53) No contact is not permanent

(00:07:01) Reconnect with the right reasons

(00:10:53) Handling conflict 

(00:16:14) Why are we reconnecting? 

(00:23:53) Owning your decision

(00:32:12) Your healing comes first

(00:35:03) Am I repeating old cycles?

(00:43:10) Stay emotionally disciplined

(00:46:03) Validate your feelings

(00:51:44) Set the date, face the feelings

Key Takeaways: 

"If we want to heal, we have to come out of a victim mentality."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health-care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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