Why did I end up in an abusive relationship?

There is no one reason or answer to this question with the exception of…your partner chose to abuse you.

And I know that this answer does not satisfy anyone.  So we are going to look at one of the factors that make women more susceptible to being targeted by an abusive person and why they are more likely to stay in an abusive relationship. 

We are doing a deep dive into generational trauma.

Generational trauma is when trauma is passed down through generations through a combination of psychological, behavioral, and biological mechanisms or pathways. I touch on each of these pathways and the impacts that they have on you and your family.
Breaking the cycle of generational trauma and abuse in a family system is extremely difficult work and starting with a trained mental health professional is the first step to healing yourself so that you can break this cycle for your family. 

Some of the work you may do during this process are:

• Understanding where it comes from and how your family has contributed to your trauma is not an excuse, but an explanation
• Understanding your role in the family dynamic and what your family might do to keep you in the role and why? Plate and marble example
• Help you identify where you need to set boundaries
• Allowing you a place to examine your values and set plans for how to live with those at the forefront 
• Allowing you to imagine a life that looks different
• Grieving the loss of … innocence or your childhood
• Offering yourself forgiveness
• Finding inspirational stories of success of breaking the cycle
• Creating your safe inner circle of support with healthy people
• One of the most positive impacts of doing all of this work is that you get to teach your children all of the things you are learning!!! Through modeling and conversation, which will impact generations to come.

Show Resources:
Ep 105: Trauma Therapy Options for Abuse Survivors and their Children
Ep 50: How Narcissistic Abuse Leads to Moral Injury

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