What happens when survivors of domestic violence and coercive control enter family court isn’t just anecdotal — it’s documented, researched, and deeply concerning.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, Sybil is joined by Joan S. Meier, Professor of Clinical Law at George Washington University Law School and founder of the National Family Violence Law Center, and Danielle Pollack, Policy Manager at the Center, to unpack what decades of research and policy work reveal about how family courts respond to abuse allegations — and why so many protective parents feel disbelieved, punished, or silenced.

Together, they explore how concepts like parental alienation are frequently weaponized against survivors, how unregulated reunification programs put children at risk, and what policy efforts like Kayden’s Law are doing to change the system. This conversation also speaks directly to therapists, advocates, and professionals, offering insight into how research can inform ethical practice, advocacy, and trauma-informed testimony.

NSPO: https://www.nationalsafeparents.org/ 

About the Guests

Joan S. Meier
Professor of Clinical Law at George Washington University Law School and founder of the National Family Violence Law Center. Joan is a leading national expert on domestic violence, child abuse, and family court outcomes, and the lead author of the landmark study examining how courts respond to abuse allegations in custody cases.

Website: https://www.nfvlc.org/

Danielle Pollack
Policy Manager at the National Family Violence Law Center. Danielle works at the intersection of research and legislation, helping states adopt laws that better protect children and survivors, including implementation efforts related to Kayden’s Law. She also supports survivor-led advocacy through the National Safe Parents Organization (NSPO).

Join me on February 18th at 12pm MST for the Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop for protective moms focused on protecting and repairing the parent–child relationship: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-control

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What happens when one parent leans on a child emotionally and you are determined not to do the same?

Many protective parents notice it quietly at first.
Their child starts worrying about the other parent.
They feel responsible for adult emotions.
They try to comfort, reassure, or stabilize situations that are far beyond their role.

And when you are isolated, overwhelmed, or under constant pressure, the temptation to lean back can feel very real.

In this episode, Sybil explores why children are so often pulled into adult emotional roles after abuse, separation, or high conflict co parenting and why resisting that pull is one of the most protective parenting choices you can make.

This episode is not about shaming parents who are struggling.
It is about understanding impact, preserving family hierarchy, and keeping children emotionally safe even when the other parent does not.

Links to episodes mentioned: 

Episode 56: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-56-start-healing-from-moral-injury-with-guest-dr/id1633920067?i=1000621633927

Episode 50: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-50-how-narcissistic-abuse-leads-to-moral-injury/id1633920067?i=1000616005777

Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop, Feb 18th 2026: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-control 

Download the free script guide, Protective Parenting Scripts for Hard Moments: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/parentingscripts

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Parenting plans, mediation, and negotiations are some of the most stressful parts of divorce — especially when abuse, coercive control, or high conflict are involved.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, Sybil is joined by Laura, a family law mediator and co-parenting coach, to unpack what mediation can look like when it is truly child-centered and trauma-informed — and when it isn’t.

Laura brings years of experience mediating high-conflict parenting cases involving domestic violence, substance use, and power imbalances. Together, they explore how mediation can either reinforce harm or become a place where autonomy, safety, and children’s real needs are finally centered.

This conversation is especially helpful for protective parents who feel trapped by cookie-cutter parenting plans, fear retaliation for speaking up, or are being pressured to “just agree” for the sake of the court.

In This Episode, We Discuss

• Why mediation often feels re-traumatizing for survivors — and how it can be done differently
• The importance of autonomy after coercive control
• Why “getting to agreement” is not the same as creating a safe parenting plan
• How documenting only the bad can distort negotiations

Laura Lorber is an MC3 Certified Mediator, Certified Co-Parenting Specialist, and Program for Infant-Toddler Care (PITC) Fellow. She brings a deeply reflective and facilitative approach to complex family matters, including high-conflict co-parenting, interpersonal violence, and elder care. Laura’s evolving theory of mediation centers on the idea that every conflict offers a chance to model and teach — giving families a lasting legacy of learning to navigate challenges with understanding, resilience, and care for future generations.

Connect with Laura:
Website: www.lauralorberjd.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauramlorber/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lmlorber/

Join me on February 18th at 12pm MST for the Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop for protective moms focused on protecting and repairing the parent–child relationship: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-control

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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In this Friday Coaching Corner, Sybil responds to a protective mother navigating ongoing post-separation abuse involving her highly gifted, autistic teenager. The abusive co-parent has repeatedly pulled the child into adult financial and legal conflicts, framing the protective parent as the cause of manufactured crises and positioning himself as the victim and rescuer.

Over time, the child has become increasingly aligned with the abusive parent — repeating legal language, expressing contempt toward court-ordered support, rejecting care from the protective parent, and threatening legal consequences when demands aren’t met. This episode explores what happens when a child is placed in an impossible loyalty bind and the emotional toll this takes on both the child and the protective parent.

Questions Answered in This Episode

• How do you respond when your child has been weaponized against you and genuinely believes the abusive parent’s narrative?
• How can a protective parent hold boundaries when their child uses legal threats, contempt, or adult language learned from the abusive parent?
• What does staying connected look like when your child is rejecting you to remain loyal to the abusive parent?
• How can protective parents grieve the loss of connection without collapsing, over-explaining, or losing themselves in the process?

Want your question featured in a future Friday Coaching Corner? Send a short paragraph explaining your situation and 2–3 specific questions to [email protected].

Join me on February 18th at 12pm MST for the Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop for protective moms focused on protecting and repairing the parent–child relationship: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-control

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Custody evaluations tend to bring up two very different reactions for survivors.

For some, the idea of an evaluation is terrifying, especially if they have heard stories about how much power evaluators hold and how often survivors feel misunderstood or mischaracterized.

For others, a custody evaluation feels like hope. It can feel like the moment they will finally be seen, believed, or taken seriously after months or years of being dismissed.

Both reactions make sense.

In this episode, we break down what custody evaluators are actually supposed to assess, where the process often breaks down, especially in cases involving coercive control or post-separation abuse, and what options survivors may have if the evaluation does not reflect their reality.

This episode is not meant to scare you or tell you to expect the worst.
It is about understanding the process well enough to reduce surprises and protect yourself emotionally and strategically.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Rocks in a Jar technique: https://youtu.be/ibqemrMJe2w (If you're short on time, scroll to 10:30 in the video)
• Project Justice USA: https://www.projectjusticeusa.com/

Join me on February 18th at 12pm MST for the Parenting to Combat Coercive Control Live Workshop for protective moms focused on protecting and repairing the parent–child relationship: https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/coercive-control

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Should you keep trying to repair a relationship, or is it time to walk away? If you’ve found yourself repeatedly questioning the level of toxicity in your relationships — with a parent, sibling, friend, or even a new romantic partner — this episode will help you sort through the tug of war inside your body and mind.

For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, the end of an abusive marriage doesn’t magically clarify all of the other relationships in your life. Instead, it often brings more confusion. You may start noticing behaviors you once excused, feeling drained after interactions, or wondering whether you are seeing red flags or simply overreacting because of your trauma history. And when you’re already carrying the emotional weight of post-separation abuse and rebuilding your life, the question “Should I mend this relationship or should I go?” can feel overwhelming.

To help bring clarity, I sit down with Kate King, LPC, who offers a grounded framework for checking in with your authentic self to decide whether a relationship can be repaired with boundaries or whether it’s healthier — and safer — to step away. We talk about:

• What your nervous system is trying to tell you about a relationship
• How your trauma history influences the way you assess safety
• What repair actually looks like in healthy relationships
• The signs that it may be time to move on
• How to begin healing through the body, not just the mind

Kate also shares insights from her upcoming book, Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships (coming January 2026), including how survivors can use it to navigate these complex decisions with more confidence and compassion.

If you’re wrestling with whether to give someone another chance, set firmer boundaries, or let go completely, this conversation offers clarity, direction, and deep validation.

Connect with Kate:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theradiantlifeproject
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@TheRadiantLifeProject 

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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If you are a protective parent trying to “co-parent” with a narcissistic ex-partner, you’ve likely found yourself awake at night wondering how all of this will shape your child’s future.

Will my child grow up to be an abuser?
Will my child end up in abusive relationships themselves?
Will my ex succeed in damaging our bond beyond repair?

These fears often intensify during the teen years, when behavior becomes more complex and the stakes feel higher.

In this episode, I sit down with Riley Cochran, a licensed therapist and true teen whisperer who works with adolescents carrying trauma, big explosive emotions, and sometimes juvenile justice involvement. Riley brings a grounded and compassionate lens to what’s really happening beneath the surface of those challenging teen behaviors.

Together, we explore:

• How to understand the why behind your teen’s difficult or explosive behaviors
• What trauma responses can look like in adolescents
• How your connection and attachment with your teen can be a source of healing
• Ways to build resilience in your child even when the other parent is undermining you
• The power of steady, attuned parenting when a teen is caught in a high-conflict dynamic

If you fear what your ex’s behavior might mean for your child’s long-term emotional health, this episode offers clarity, direction, and hope. You are not powerless — your relationship with your teen still matters more than you think.

Riley Cochran is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Addiction Counselor with over a decade of experience supporting high-risk and system-involved youth and families. He serves as the Executive Director of Resolute Counseling Center in Colorado and is the founder of The Guardians Guide, a parent coaching program designed to help caregivers respond to big behaviors and crisis with clarity, confidence, and connection. Riley is known for translating complex mental health concepts into practical, real-world guidance that empowers families to navigate challenging seasons together.

Connect with Riley:
Website: www.resolutecounselingcenter.com, https://www.rileycochran.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riley_cochran_official 

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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What do you do when you’re staring down a new year and your life looks nothing like what you imagined? When you’re navigating post-separation abuse, family court chaos, or the long tail of coercive control, the idea of setting goals or creating a “new year plan” can feel impossible — or irrelevant.

In this episode, Sybil talks about how to begin again when you’re stuck in the thought “this is not the life I signed up for”. Instead of pretending everything is fine or forcing resolutions you don’t have the energy for, Sybil offers a grounded, compassionate way to approach the start of a new year.

You’ll hear about:

• Why it’s normal to feel stuck or resentful heading into a new year
  • — especially when you’re still in a battle you didn’t choose.
• How to shift from overwhelm to clarity
  • by identifying what you want now, not what you thought your life would be.
• Understanding what’s in your control — and what’s not
  • so you can stop pouring energy into dead ends.
• How to identify small wins
  • and why these matter so much more than big goals when you’re carrying a heavy load.
• Creating momentum through micro-actions
  • that fit your season of life, your capacity, and the reality you're living in.
• A gentle way to start the year
  • without bypassing the grief or frustration of where you are.

This episode is for anyone who is beginning a new year in survival mode, in a hard chapter, or while parenting in the midst of ongoing post-separation abuse. You don’t have to rebuild your entire life right now — but you can start with one clear step that’s within your control.

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Take a listen to this episode that listeners come back to frequently.

If you are a survivor in the battle ground of family court, would you say that your attorney is representing you well?

Do you feel heard?  

Or maybe you do not have the financial means to even hire an attorney.

And so you find yourself going pro se.  Representing yourself in family court.  This can be extremely scary and it is possible that you will be able to do an even better job going pro se than with an attorney.  On this episode of I have a conversation with Casey Brinkman on how she was able to turn her case around to finally be able to protect herself and her children when she got rid of her attorneys and became pro se.

Casey shares her best tips for representing yourself well as well as what a family court coach/consultant can do to help you on this journey.  We discuss the importance of documentation, knowing your rights, doing the right research, how to get evidence in as evidence, and more.  

Casey is a dedicated protective mother who spent nearly five years navigating the complexities of the family court system. For just under three years, she worked with an attorney, but it wasn’t until she took on her case pro se in the last two years that she was able to truly have her voice, and her children’s voices, heard. Through her persistence and determination, Casey successfully turned her case around to protect her children, a journey that sparked her passion for helping other protective moms facing similar challenges.

Today, Casey channels her experience and expertise into helping other mothers become strong and effective litigants, whether working with an attorney or representing themselves pro se. Her mission is to inspire and equip protective moms to navigate the legal system with confidence, ensuring their children’s best interests remain the top priority.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

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I'm sharing this episode again as it's one that many of you listen to frequently.

If your parenting plan is not working or there has been a change in yours or your child’s lives to where the parenting plan no longer reflects the actual needed arrangements for the child, what do you do?

If you are coparenting with a narcissist, broaching a change in the parenting plan can feel extremely scary.  You know that it will be a catalyst for increased engagement and conflict.  So, what steps can you follow that will help minimize the conflict and increase the likelihood of a change?

A change in circumstance might be (not an exhaustive list):

• A change in address outside of the parenting plan agreement
• A change in school
• A change in the child’s medical or mental health providers
• A change in the child’s needs that the current parenting plan does not address
• A loss of job that will have an impact on the current parenting plan
• Abuse or Neglect
• Co-parent is not following the orders AND it is causing harm to the child

If you feel like you need to broach a change in the parenting plan, there are some steps that you can take that will protect you and will increase the likelihood that the plan will be modified.

• Send the initial message to “put the concern on your co-parent’s radar”
• Start to accrue data and evidence that the concern is negatively impacting your child and what needs to happen to remedy this
• Send a second email stating that the problem is still present, share some of the data, and then write a clear ask of what needs to be done to remedy the situation.
• Be prepared for your ex to fight back and be an A-hole
• Be prepared for the next possible steps in a worst case scenario

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

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