By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS
Are you ready to thrive as you are coming out of a toxic or abusive relationship? Join Sybil Cummin, a licensed professional counselor who has specialized in working with victims and survivors of d
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The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.
What would it be like to get a full night sleep? Or to be able to focus on the task at hand?
After experiencing the trauma of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse many survivors find that their daily functioning completely goes away. And this makes complete sense, right?
The constant trauma while in the relationship and the continued trauma in the aftermath cause a myriad of problems for your physical and mental health.
On the last episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast I explained many of the most common trauma modalities that therapists today are using to support survivors. In this episode we are diving deeper into a lesser known modality; neurofeedback.
I have a conversation with Louise Finley, LPC on how neurofeedback can be used as a part of your healing journey from your abusive relationship. We discuss what neurofeedback is and what it might look like during a session, and we also talk about some of the possible benefits and symptoms that can be targeted through this modality.
Louise is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia, USA and has worked in the therapy field since 2011. Her early career years were split between private practice and hospital outpatient settings and consequently, Louise has gotten to work with individuals in many stages of life, mental health crises, trauma recovery, and growth. In 2017 Louise was offered the opportunity to be trained in the Othmer Method of Neurofeedback--she initially saw this as a way to expand support for clients, but it has ended up re-shaping her, both personally and as a clinician. The additional training has led Louise to actively integrate more brain and nervous system education in her talk therapy work and to appreciate how an appropriately timed brain-based intervention can be a catalyst for beautiful change. Louise currently balances being a parent and seeing a small number of clients in private practice. She occasionally blogs about Neurofeedback at www.louisefinley.com and would love to be a resource to any individuals or clinicians with Neurofeedback questions or looking to connect with a Georgia provider!
Where to find Louise:
www.louisefinley.com
www.eeginfo.com (website of the organization that trained Louise, some providers listed here)
https://neurofeedback-network.squarespace.com/home (international/US NF provider listings, as well as basic NF information)
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If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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If you have experienced relationship abuse, then you have experienced trauma. And even if you do not meet all of the requirements for post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) it is likely that some form of trauma therapy will be a helpful part of your healing journey.
And if your children have experienced or witnessed any of the abuse or the aftermath of the abuse, then they have experienced trauma as well and will likely need some support.
In this episode I am going to give you an overhead and general view of some of the possible trauma modalities that you may find beneficial and share the most important aspects of all therapeutic relationships for survivors of domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, and coercive control.
We discuss:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
Narrative Therapy
Group Therapy
And for children:
Play Therapy
Other experiential therapies (music, art, dance)
EMDR
TF-CBT
The most important aspect of whether the trauma modality will work for you is actually not the modality. The most important aspect of your healing journey with your therapist is your relationship with the therapist. Do you feel safe enough to ask questions? Does your therapist take on a collaborative role with you instead of an expert role talking to you? Do you feel a sense of unconditional positive regard? If they are working with your children, do they have strong boundaries and protect your children’s information?
VIDEO: EMDR: Special Considerations for Domestic Violence with Barbara Sheehan-Zeidler, MA, LPC
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If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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Domestic violence and narcissistic abuse strips away your sense of self and autonomy. One of the most important parts of the healing process is to rediscover who you are and what you value so that you can learn to trust yourself again.
As you become curious about who you were before the abuse and who you would like to be after you heal it can be helpful to have a guide to understand what drives you, what challenges you, and your best attributes.
On this episode I have a conversation with my dear friend and colleague, Talya Dash, LCSW about how to use the Enneagram to connect with yourself as you heal from abuse. The Enneagram system is a widely accepted personality model that offers deep insight into our core driving motivations, opening up exciting possibilities in the prediction and understanding of human behavior. Talya describes each of the 9 types and how each one may find themselves susceptible to an abusive relationship and what may motivate each one as they heal.
Received my BA in Psychology from Earlham College and Masters in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University. She has been in the mental health field for over 17 years, in private practice for over 8 years. She is a Certified Somatic Experiencing practitioner, SE focuses as much on body sensations and the nervous system as it does on emotions, thoughts, actions and imagery. She is also a PACT couples therapist, and utilizes attachment work and the Enneagram. Talya Fell in love with the Enneagram almost 15 years ago and has not only found it instrumental in her own life, marriage, and parenthood, but also in her practice working with individuals, couples, and families.
Talya's Website: https://www.thrivenowpsychotherapy.com/
Resources:
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions
Books:
Wisdom of the Enneagram (More technical/textb
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If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
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If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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Summertime means fun in the sun, getting outdoors, swimming, camping and s'mores. But will your abusive, high conflict co-parent allow you to enjoy the fun?
They will try to do everything they can to cause conflict and ruin these memory-making times with your children. In this episode we are going to touch on:
And now that we know what some of the challenges are, what can you do about them to have less conflict and anxiety over the summer?
The number one tip is to know your parenting plan inside and out and use the language in it in your communication with your narcissistic ex. It is also important to understand what are day to day decisions and to remember what you have control over and what you don’t.
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If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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If you are a victim or survivor of domestic violence or narcissistic abuse you will likely come into contact with a lot of our larger systems. One of them being Child Protective Services (CPS).
This may bring up your greatest fear, one that your partner threatened on many occasions; that if you leave they will do everything to take your children away from you. And if your abuser has done a good job at making you feel crazy and worthless, the possibility that CPS will take away your children feels imminent.
So, what can you do as the protective parent if CPS becomes involved in your case?
First, it is helpful to know a bit about the process and how your ex partner will show up. Because of their MO of taking control of the narrative, it is paramount that you develop a relationship with the team of people involved in your case. It is important that you show up in ways that refute the narrative of your ex and do this consistently.
I also discuss the negative ramifications of how our current CPS system is impacting cases where family court is involved and what I think needs to change.
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If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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If you have ever felt powerless to help your children as they behave in ways that let you know that they are hurting or scared inside, this episode is for you.
Parenting is hard even when you are not having to manage all that comes with post separation abuse; which includes the guilt and shame of what your children are experiencing.
So, what can you do to help them and parent in a way that will build their resilience and foster your connection?
I am so honored to share this conversation with Robyn Gobbel, MSW on the neuroscience behind our children’s behaviors, the differences between physical safety and felt safety, and specific strategies that you can use to parent children with big baffling behaviors. We touch on how to understand your reactions to your children and how to regulate yourself with compassion.
Robyn Gobbel, MSW, has 20 years of practice in family and child therapy experience,
specializing in complex trauma, attachment, and adoption. She integrated her diverse clinical training to offer an attachment-rich, sensory-sensitive, and relational neurosciences supported healing environment for children and families. Robyn now consults, teaches, and trains extensively throughout the US. She is the host of The Baffling Behavior Show podcast and author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work.
Where to find Robyn:
Host- The Baffling Behavior Show podcast
Creator- Being With {an immersion course for parenting professionals}
Creator- The Club {a virtual community for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors}
Author- Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work
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If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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It is episode 100 and we are flipping the script and doing something completely different.
My good friend, Lundy Bancroft is interviewing ME, so that you can get a behind the scenes look at how I got started doing this work and why I am so passionate about helping you.
We touch on the lack of training mental health professionals get specific to working with domestic violence and coercive control, some of the shifts in the field that I have seen and the shifts that need to happen, how I make decisions that are in the best interest of the survivors I serve and more.
This was a fun episode and a way for you to get to know the woman behind the microphone. I hope you enjoy it!
Lundy’s Bio: With over thirty years' experience specializing in interventions for abusive men and their families, Lundy Bancroft has authored seven books, including the world’s best-seller on domestic violence, Why Does He Do That? and the prizewinning professional book The Batterer as Parent. Lundy is the former Training Director of Emerge, the U.S.’s first counseling program for men who batter, and was involved in over 2000 cases as counselor and clinical supervisor. He has served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness. His new book and first novel is In Custody: A Carrie Green Mystery, in which domestic violence meets the family law system.
Show Resources:
Order Lundy's many books
And Then We Do Harm - E-Book by Sybil Cummin
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If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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What does it mean to recover or heal from domestic violence or narcissistic abuse? I am not sure that there is a universal answer to this question. So my answer…”It depends.”
Your healing journey depends on so many different factors such as:
Why are these factors so important to look at when visualizing your healing journey? They will determine where you are going to start your journey, who you need to support you on your journey, what level of contact you will have to maintain with your abuser, and if the trauma from your abusive relationship will exacerbate other mental health issues you already experience.
So, instead of me telling you what recovery or healing looks like, I want you to think about what you want your life to look like. What would a life look like where you are content, have stability, can make autonomous decisions, feel confident in who you are and what you can do, and find some joy?
Some of the common strategies or areas of focus for healing from domestic violence are:
If you are not sure where you need to start on your journey, The Rising Beyond Community may be for you. You will get support from trained therapists and survivors as you determine what a life healed will look like for you. And once you have determined where you want to go, we will help provide you the strategies you need to get there.
Please leave us a review! Reviews help the show get out to more people.
If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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How do you know when you are ready to date again after leaving an abusive relationship?
It is common that folks find themselves in two camps:
But, for those of you in the middle, this question comes up often.
There is no one right way to make this decision, however there are some commonalities in the things you need to see within yourself in order to best make this decision. Because there is not one right way, I asked two friends and colleagues to join me in a conversation looking at all the things to think about when starting to dip your toe into the water of dating.
Maggie VanDenBerg is a Marriage and Family Therapist and Approved Clinical Supervisor. She specializes in working with trauma survivors who have been affected by emotional and narcissistic abuse. She also specializes in perinatal mental health, couples therapy, and working with parents of young children. She contracts with Arvada Therapy Solutions, Trade Winds Therapy, and has her own private practice, Magpie Therapy and Consultation. She is passionate about normalizing the complexities of abuse, relationships, and parenthood.
Joanna Baanana has been a guest on The Rising Beyond Podcast before (ep 68) where you can learn more about her experiences.
Joanna shares about herself: In March of 2019, after an incident involving police and the removal of guns from my marital home, I began a journey that no one expects to be on. I became a client at the local domestic violence shelter - Safe Futures in Southeastern Connecticut. I filed for the dissolution of my marriage and obtained a restraining order. I also became a plaintiff in the civil family court system.
While my civil family court exposure is ongoing, I have decided to be a part of the solution as opposed to simply complaining about the injustices I see. Because of this, I am a founding member of the VOICES Committee for The Center for Safe Futures. I am on the Advisory Board of the Connecticut Protective Moms Non-Profit. I have been certified as a DV Crisis Counselor. I am a Girl Scout leader. And I’ve written my first book, a memoir, which I hope to be published by 2025.
Books Mentioned:
Heart Talk by Cleo Wade
https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Talk-Poetic-Wisdom-Better/dp/1501177346
If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl
Please leave us a review! Reviews help the show get out to more people.
If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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Enjoy some of our freebies!
Struggling to keep the peace with a high-conflict ex?
Does setting boundaries make you so uncomfortable that you don’t do it? But then you are kicking yourself and are full of resentment because you said yes to something that you absolutely do not want to do or don’t have time for?
This value-packed episode of "The Rising Beyond Podcast" features sisters, Jan and Jillian Yuhas, who share revolutionary tactics from their latest book "Boundary Badass."
Discover how to reclaim your power, protect your children, and transform your co-parenting relationship from toxic to triumphant. Learn about setting rock-solid boundaries, engaging in solution-oriented communication, and aligning daily actions with your deepest values.
Whether you're dealing with legal dilemmas or everyday disputes, this episode offers possible solutions for you from folks who truly get it.
Bio: Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas, MA, MFT, CPC are Family Mediators and Co-Parenting Coaches. They specialize in coercive control and high-conflict dynamics by guiding co-parents to overcome the challenges of divorce through creative solutions that are children-centered. Their expertise is a blend of family psychology, conflict resolution, negotiation strategy, healthy boundaries, and real-life experience to guide and serve all family members.
You can learn more about Jan and Jillian through their mediation services and coaching programs at https://www.divorcefamilymediations.com/ and
https://www.boundarybadass.com/
Please leave us a review! Reviews help the show get out to more people.
If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc
If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.
If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
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Enjoy some of our freebies!
The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.