Been There Got Out Podcast

How would you feel if you discovered hidden financial secrets during your divorce? Join us for a riveting conversation with Tracy Coenen of the Divorce Money Guide, as we share our serendipitous meeting at the Amicable Divorce Network's convention in Nashville and dive into the intricacies of financial management in divorce. Tracy's expertise in forensic accounting sheds light on the often-overlooked aspect of financial control in abusive relationships. From our initial meeting over donuts to deep discussions on marital finances, Tracy offers her invaluable insights into understanding financial complexities before finalizing a divorce settlement.

We'll unravel the world of forensic accounting and its crucial role in uncovering financial infidelity. Tracy explains how forensic accountants go beyond traditional accounting by investigating and verifying transactions, often revealing hidden accounts and secret expenditures. Through compelling personal anecdotes and case studies, we explore the emotional impact of discovering financial deceit within marriages and the challenges of reconciling trust after betrayal. This chapter highlights how forensic accounting tools can uncover the truth and empower individuals facing financial infidelity.

In the final part of our episode, we focus on recognizing financial red flags and avoiding costly divorce settlement mistakes. We discuss insights on identifying hidden funds through "round-number withdrawals" and the importance of trusting one's intuition. We discuss the dangers of settling without a full disclosure of assets and the tactics often used in high-conflict divorces. Tracy offers practical advice on negotiation skills and preparing financially to prevent exploitation.

This is the first of a two-part episode that equips you with the knowledge and tools to navigate the financial intricacies of divorce confidently and ensure a fair settlement.

Unlock the keys to understanding and managing high-needs children, even in the midst of turbulent high-conflict separations. In this enlightening episode, Melissa Schulz, an experienced parenting coach, joins us to share her expertise on navigating the challenges of raising strong-willed, sensitive, or neurodivergent kids. Discover what truly defines a high-needs child and gain practical strategies for maintaining consistency and stability between households, despite difficult co-parenting dynamics. Melissa emphasizes the importance of self-care, mental health, and professional support for parents, offering actionable advice like journaling to help process emotions and ensure a safe, nurturing environment for children.

Melissa shares her personal journey from aspiring school psychologist to becoming a board-certified behavior analyst and founding an in-home behavioral health service for children with autism. Learn about the significance of research-based, individualized strategies and why dedicating quality one-on-one time with your children is crucial for strengthening bonds and improving behavior. We stress the critical role of parental self-care in managing the stress and emotional triggers associated with raising high-needs kids. This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical tips to help you create a loving, supportive environment for your child.

Unlock the secrets to mastering persuasion in family court with our long-time friend, Dennis Vetrano, a veteran family law litigation attorney. Discover how he identifies and manages overly emotional clients, the importance of transparency regarding legal costs, and how he prepares clients for the demanding road ahead. Dennis sheds light on the effects of trauma on client behavior, especially in prolonged custody disputes, and shares invaluable insights to help set clear expectations before entering the courtroom.

Prepare to enhance your courtroom strategy as Dennis dispels common misconceptions and reveals the necessity of having a clear, evidence-based case theory. Learn why organizing your key points and avoiding an overload of exhibits can make or break your case. Dennis shares powerful techniques for front-loading your arguments, maintaining composure, and understanding the significance of courtroom demeanor to effectively influence the judge.

Gain advanced trial strategies and witness testimony techniques from a truly seasoned expert. Dennis explains how to handle family offense trials, maintain composure under cross-examination, and utilize closing statements for maximum impact. Delve into the advantages of mediation over litigation and the critical role of skilled mediators in fair agreements. Finally, celebrate the career achievements of a distinguished judge running for family court judge in Albany, NY, underscoring the essential nature of thorough preparation in all legal endeavors.

Unlock the secrets to successfully blending families and managing high-conflict exes with our special guests, Lori and David from Nacho Kids. We promise you'll gain practical strategies for re-entering the dating scene after toxic relationships and learn how to create harmony in your blended family. Discover the Nacho Kids Method, a revolutionary approach developed by Lori and David to save their own relationship, which they now share to help others facing similar challenges.

Join us as we navigate through the complexities children face when a new stepparent steps in, and unpack the often turbulent dynamics involving high-conflict ex-spouses. From legal battles to emotional manipulation, we share real-life examples of the impact on children and offer advice on maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship. Learn how to handle antagonistic communications from ex-partners and why setting clear boundaries is crucial for everyone's well-being.

Finally, we discuss the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships, particularly in the context of blended families. Understand why having a supportive partner and setting non-negotiable boundaries can prevent repeating toxic patterns. Hear personal anecdotes from our guests about their journey, the struggles they faced, and how perseverance led to a harmonious family life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the emotional and practical challenges of blended families, offering hope and guidance from those who have been there and come out stronger.

Join us as we sit down with Chloe O, a high conflict divorce strategist from the UK, to unravel the intricate challenges of managing international divorce and co-parenting. Chloe brings her expertise to the table, guiding us through the complexities of divorces that span across different countries. We discuss critical issues such as financial responsibilities when one spouse moves abroad, and the importance of negotiation and cooperation to ease the transition. Chloe also sheds light on the legal hurdles, like immigration concerns, where individuals might face the pressure of leaving a country within 60 days of a breakup if they lack an independent right to stay.

Listen in as we navigate the jurisdictional complexities of international divorce cases. Chloe highlights the significance of choosing the right legal framework, tailored to individual circumstances. She compares financial disclosure requirements between the UK and mainland Europe, pointing out the strengths of the English legal system for those worried about hidden assets. The conversation also touches on the varying enforceability of prenuptial agreements and the growing trend of "gray divorce" among older adults. Real-life examples illustrate the emotional and legal struggles faced by those who feel isolated after relocating for a spouse's job.

In the final segments, we delve into the nuances of parenting agreements and cultural considerations post-divorce. Chloe discusses travel and expense management, emphasizing the severe consequences of violating custody agreements under the Hague Convention. We also explore the importance of cultural awareness when forming parenting plans to ensure they meet both legal requirements and the children's best interests. Chloe underscores the necessity of detailed planning and the value of mediation to avoid court disputes, sharing valuable resources and expert advice to help make the transition smoother for all involved.

Join us on this eye-opening journey with Arique Dross, a family law attorney with a profound personal connection to the complexities of family court, as we navigate the often tumultuous waters of high-conflict legal disputes. With Arique's unique insights, we discuss why it's critical to avoid family court whenever possible and the significance of finding self-crafted solutions rather than relying on court-imposed orders. We tackle tough topics such as the role domestic violence plays in negotiation dynamics and the systemic trauma that families may face within the legal system.

Listen in as we dissect the intricate issues surrounding domestic violence, custody, and parental rights. Arique sheds light on the misconceptions that cloud "fathers' rights," challenging the outdated belief that mothers should inherently have more custody privileges. The conversation moves to the harsh realities of parental alienation and the long-lasting impact of delayed custody, where every lost moment is a missed opportunity to bond with a child. We emphasize the role of mental health professionals and explore the interim solutions that courts provide, though they often fall short of addressing the urgency of these situations.

Wrapping up this intense discussion, we consider the legal remedies available to parents caught in the throes of custody disputes. From emergency petitions to the nuances of navigating the summer visitation rights of parents versus grandparents, Arique brings his expertise to the forefront, offering practical advice and sharing stories from his own experiences within the foster care and juvenile detention systems. If you're facing the daunting prospect of family court, or simply wish to understand the intricacies of these legal battles, this episode offers a wealth of knowledge and compassionate guidance.

How can the "law of unintended consequences" reshape the landscape of family law and relationships? Join us as we sit down with Julie and David Bulitt, a powerhouse team of a family therapist and a divorce attorney, to uncover the hidden dynamics that influence legal decisions, parenting, and emotional well-being. Julie shares her invaluable expertise in guiding clients to focus on their sphere of control, while David unravels the complexities of anticipating unforeseen legal outcomes. Together, they offer practical advice on managing high-conflict situations and emphasize the importance of meticulous presentation in family court.

Understanding relationship dynamics can be a labyrinth, especially in emotionally charged scenarios like addiction or abuse. The Bulitts shed light on why family courts often miss the signs of emotional abuse and reveal creative strategies to help clients maintain their composure under stress, such as using visual props. They discuss the systemic challenges faced by family courts and the critical need to predict behaviors based on established patterns. Their insights are not just theoretical; they provide actionable steps to help navigate these tumultuous waters, focusing on building a robust support system comprising legal, emotional, and personal pillars.

Co-parenting and mental health are pivotal themes as we explore the multifaceted challenges parents and children face during a divorce. Julie and David advocate for transparency about mental health issues and the importance of proactive management to positively influence legal outcomes. They share strategies for honest communication with children, stressing the need to use age-appropriate language to maintain trust and emotional stability. As we wrap up, the Bulitts introduce us to their online platforms, including their YouTube channel and podcast, which continue to empower individuals and couples in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating breakups with grace. Tune in for a conversation rich with expert advice and heartfelt insights.

Feeling like you're barely holding on while navigating the choppy waters of high-conflict divorce and co-parenting? Meaghan Johnson, also known as "A Mindful Sip" on social media, understands your pain. After a debilitating spinal injury led her down a path of depression, Meaghan transformed her life by blending Eastern and Western healing techniques. In this episode, she brings her hard-earned wisdom to the table, offering an in-depth look at how managing your mind and emotions can be your most powerful tool against external chaos.

Meaghan dives into the treacherous terrain of legal abuse trauma and frequent court appearances, drawing on her own experiences to teach you how to reprogram your mind. Learn how to shift from feeling like a victim to becoming a witness of your thoughts, and discover practical strategies to build resilience against overwhelming emotions. Meaghan’s insights are invaluable for anyone dealing with the hidden struggles of functional depression, where everything looks fine on the outside while turmoil rages within.

We also discuss the power of community support and the "marathon mindset" when facing life's toughest challenges. Meaghan shares personal stories illustrating how to live a fulfilling life despite ongoing adversities, emphasizing the importance of breaking negative thought patterns and building positive habits. For parents, there's a deep dive into empowering children through their anxieties and the impact of societal changes like COVID-19. Tune in for a conversation rich in personal anecdotes and transformative advice, designed to help you find hope and connection in times of isolation.

Unlock the secrets to navigating the choppy waters of parental alienation with Billie Tarascio, an Arizona attorney leading a transformative legal battle. In our revealing sit-down, Billie demystifies the controversial term 'parental alienation' and divulges how it's being redefined as a form of domestic violence within the courtroom. Our discussion peels back the layers of custody disputes, showcasing the careful selection of language that steers clear of the term's stigma, focusing instead on specific behaviors that alter the course of these familial conflicts.

Venture behind the scenes of co-parenting dynamics, where the line between alienation and misunderstanding blurs in the heat of high-conflict situations. Billie's insights, combined with Lisa's perspectives as a former high school English teacher, emphasize the power of concrete examples over generalized labels when presenting cases in court. We tackle the challenges of enforcing parenting plans, the effects of a parent's disparaging remarks, and the intricacies of extracurricular scheduling—all pivotal factors that can tip the scales in legal battles over a child's best interests. This episode is a must-listen for anyone caught in the whirlwind of family law or seeking to protect their rights and the well-being of their children.

Navigating the choppy waters of parenting within a toxic relationship is a journey no one should have to sail alone. In this episode, BTGO's own Chris joins Lisa for a brief, impromptu talk, when we weren't able to connect with our scheduled guest, Christy Keating, the brain behind the Safe Parenting Summit. We unfold the narrative of our workshop titled 'The Top 7 Dangers of Staying in a Toxic Relationship', examining the unintentional lessons children absorb when they grow up in turbulent homes. Our dialogue is a raw look at the harrowing choices parents encounter and the ripples of influence that parental examples cast across generations. As we dissect the complexities of fostering safe environments for our families, we recognize the arduous yet crucial path to breaking free from destructive ties, for the sake of both parents and their little ones.

The Safe Parenting Summit, convened by Christy Keating, brought together 28 seasoned voices in the realm of child rearing, and while Christy couldn't join us, her mission resonates through our episode. We unveil reflections on how adept parenting echoes through time, impacting not just our children but also those yet to come. Drawing from heartfelt tales, including my own dance with the trials of the legal labyrinth that is family court, this conversation underscores the significance of cultivating nurturing relationships. It's a testament to the tenacity of parents everywhere, and an invitation to listen in on how we can all contribute to a legacy of healthier, happier families.