Unlock the secrets to safeguarding your financial future during and after a divorce with insights from Tony Wimperis, a seasoned CPA and tax director. Learn how to navigate the intricate world of divorce-related tax issues, including the potential conflicts of interest when accountants have longstanding ties to one spouse. Tony provides invaluable advice on managing the risks of unreported income, filing joint versus separate tax returns, and the importance of choosing an accountant who remains impartial and transparent throughout the proceedings.

Experience the emotional journey of financial surprises that emerge during divorce, from undisclosed investments to unexpected liabilities. Tony shares strategies for addressing these challenges and emphasizes the critical role of legal advisors in ensuring you make informed decisions. He guides us through the complexities of asset division, tax filing, and managing tax-related responsibilities when trust between partners is compromised. By understanding the roles of custodial and non-custodial parents, you'll be better equipped to handle tax implications and the claiming of dependents.

Finally, protect your financial well-being post-divorce with Tony's practical tips on updating tax documents, managing tax payments, and dealing with potential penalties. Learn about filing for innocent spouse relief and the considerations necessary for maintaining personal safety amidst challenging tax issues. Tony offers a wealth of knowledge and a commitment to helping you navigate these turbulent times with confidence and clarity.

Renowned psychologist and author Dr. Josh Coleman joins us for an eye-opening conversation on the challenging realities of parental estrangement and alienation, particularly amidst high-conflict divorces. Drawing from his influential book, "Rules of Estrangement," Dr. Coleman reveals surprising statistics and societal stigmas surrounding estrangement. With 70% of estranged parents having experienced divorce, he explains how blame and new family dynamics can become catalysts for these painful rifts. Together, we unpack the emotional toll on parents and the nuances of estrangement versus alienation, where one parent's influence can turn a child against the other.

Shifting our focus to the evolving dynamics of parent-child relationships, we explore the generational changes that have led parents to desire friendships with their children. Dr. Coleman shares insights on the power adult children hold in these relationships and the significance of understanding their perspectives. We discuss the cultural shifts that have broadened definitions of harmful behavior, urging parents to approach these conversations with empathy and openness. With practical tips on maintaining hope and practicing radical acceptance, we offer guidance for parents seeking reconciliation and understanding amidst estrangement's complexities.

Join us as we explore the intricate and emotionally charged issue of parental alienation with our insightful guest, Charlie McCready, a UK-based parental alienation coach. Charlie shares his personal journey as a survivor of alienation, shedding light on the concept of "pre-alienation," which he coined to describe the subtle grooming process leading to relationship breakdowns. With his expertise, Charlie helps us understand the nuances of these dynamics, offering practical strategies to support those affected by alienation. His goal is to simplify the complexities surrounding this challenging topic, providing hope and guidance for parents navigating these turbulent waters.

Listen in as we unravel the depths of parental alienation, highlighting how some parents, often with narcissistic tendencies, work to turn their children against the other parent. We clarify the distinction between estrangement and alienation, discussing the progression from mild to severe alienation and the psychological manipulation involved. Charlie emphasizes the need for alienated parents to anticipate actions rather than react, as their instincts to defend themselves might inadvertently reinforce the alienator's narrative. This conversation is crucial for understanding how past parental relationships impact individuals experiencing alienation and how to manage the intense emotions that arise.

Our discussion also covers the complex dynamics of narcissism and its impact on relationships, especially during divorce. We explore the emotional roller coaster of separation, highlighting how individuals may weaponize their children during custody battles and the emotional turmoil this causes. Discover the triggers of divorce stress and how narcissistic behaviors manifest, further complicating family dynamics. By understanding these patterns and focusing on healing and rebuilding trust, parents can navigate the emotional hurdles of alienation, ultimately working towards healthier relationships with their children.

Can anxiety be transformed from a daunting presence into a manageable part of life? Join us as we uncover the complexities of modern anxiety with Andrea Nave, a licensed therapist and creator of the "How to Beat Anxiety Blog." Andrea and I explore the reasons behind the apparent rise in anxiety levels today, from societal issues like election stress and economic worries to the relentless cycle of news about violence. We demystify anxiety's role as the body's alarm system, which, while protective, can sometimes misfire due to past traumas. Andrea shares insights into cognitive and exposure therapies, illuminating paths to retrain our nervous system and better manage anxiety.

Misconceptions around anxiety often lead to viewing worry as an integral part of one's identity, but it doesn't have to be this way. Our discussion challenges these notions, emphasizing a mindset that sees anxiety as something manageable. We share practical strategies to distinguish between toxic and productive worry, focusing on what can be controlled. Personal stories, including the stress of navigating the family court system, provide real-world examples of managing anxiety through intentional thought redirection.

The episode also delves into the significant influence parents have on their children's emotional development. Andrea offers guidance on maintaining parental well-being and modeling healthy emotional regulation, which in turn helps children build resilience against anxiety. Parents are encouraged to validate their children’s feelings, strike a balance between protection and exposure, and adopt practices like mindfulness and self-compassion to foster a nurturing environment. To further support listeners, we also recommend a curated selection of accessible books available on Amazon, aimed at enhancing mindfulness, anxiety management, and parenting skills.

Join us as we welcome back our friend, Chelsey Brooke Cole, a therapist and author specializing in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. Chelsey shares her journey and expertise in navigating safe sharing after experiencing abuse. We explore the delicate balance between maintaining boundaries and fostering healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of discernment in choosing whom to trust with your story. Chelsey's insights are invaluable for survivors seeking to find their voice in safe spaces, while also being cautious about the potential harm of sharing with those who may not understand.

In our conversation, we explore the dynamics of relationships impacted by narcissistic abuse, focusing on understanding the different types of narcissism, particularly the vulnerable narcissist. We highlight the importance of being discerning when selecting a therapist who truly understands narcissistic and emotional abuse. Through personal anecdotes, we underscore the significance of interviewing potential therapists to ensure they align with your needs. Additionally, we discuss the risks associated with sharing personal experiences online, especially during legal proceedings, as narcissists and their enablers often monitor social media closely.

We also explore how to recognize safe relationships through understanding physiological cues and neuroception. Safe individuals help us feel clear, calm, and accepted, allowing us to be our authentic selves. Chelsey discusses her book, "If Only I'd Known," which serves as a resource for those interested in healing from narcissistic abuse. We invite listeners to follow our social media accounts for ongoing discussions and to stay tuned for Chelsey's upcoming group programs. This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating relationships after abuse, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and trusting one's instincts.

What if the most dangerous form of abuse leaves no physical marks? Join us as we sit down with Ellen Schwartz and Maliha Janjua from Women Aware to uncover the dark reality of coercive control, a form of domestic violence that instills fear and isolates victims without physical assault. As New Jersey pioneers legal changes to recognize this insidious abuse, we dive into the controversies these laws spark, including concerns about judicial understanding. Ellen and Maliha bring a wealth of knowledge from both legal and social work perspectives, emphasizing the importance of recognizing coercive control's pervasive presence in domestic violence cases.

Our conversation takes a poignant turn as we shine a light on how domestic violence affects children. Abusers often use children as pawns to manipulate and control their partners, leaving long-lasting impacts on young lives. Drawing from their experiences at Women Aware, Ellen and Maliha share the various tactics abusers employ to exploit the court system and interfere with children's therapy. We discuss the complexities survivors face even after breaking free from abusive relationships and offer strategies for safety planning to help them regain control and protect their families.

Recovery from domestic violence is a challenging journey that requires a strong support system. We explore the transformative role of creative arts and trauma-focused therapies in helping children process trauma, and stress the need for finding the right therapists and legal advocates who understand domestic violence dynamics. By highlighting innovative models like the Family Justice Center, we showcase a coordinated community response that offers comprehensive support to survivors. This episode serves as a reminder of the power of community and the ongoing need for trauma-informed care and legal advocacy to help survivors rebuild their lives.

The holidays can be a twinkling time of joy for many, but for those who've tangled with a narcissist, the season's lights may dim. Our conversation with John from Male Victims of Female Narcissists peels back the layers of this often unspoken struggle, whatever your gender. Together, we unravel the painful process of ending a toxic relationship, especially when it leads to the heartbreak of losing friends and family. With the festive period heightening these emotional wounds, we discuss strategies for facing these challenges head-on, offering our insights into the complexities of navigating family courts and the stark reality of parental alienation.

Navigating the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist feels akin to walking a labyrinth where every turn might lead to further isolation. Our exchange sheds light on the subtle yet destructive form of gatekeeping that can occur within families, cutting deep lines of division. Stressing the need for direct communication and unwavering self-advocacy, we dissect the nuances of maintaining healthy child-parent bonds post-divorce, the crucial role of therapy, and the value of neutral professionals in ensuring kids aren't caught in the crossfire of loyalty conflicts.

As we wind down the episode, the focus shifts to co-parenting in the face of rejection and the vulnerability that comes with it. We open up about our personal journeys of trying to stay connected to our children amidst the manipulations and emotional abuse from our ex-partners, hoping to offer solace to listeners walking a similar path. We conclude with a message of hope and solidarity, highlighting the importance of seeking out community during the holidays. This episode is a beacon for those seeking understanding and direction during times that can feel overwhelmingly shadowed by past relationships.

Acclaimed singer and author Tyra Juliette Schwartz joins us to unravel the pressing issue of shielding children from gaslighting while nurturing their critical thinking abilities. With her compelling book, "The Sky is Red," Tyra shares powerful insights from her extraordinary journey—from touring with music legends to becoming a mother and fierce advocate for children's empowerment. She discusses the art of having everyday conversations that inspire kids to trust their instincts and respectfully challenge authority, striking a crucial balance between fostering respect and encouraging self-expression. Tyra's personal experiences underscore the importance of self-confidence and empowerment, particularly in a world rife with misinformation and AI challenges.

Together, we explore Tyra's strategies for instilling self-trust and advocacy in children, essential skills that equip them to navigate complex situations such as shared custody and societal pressures. Tyra recounts poignant stories, including a daughter's triumph over adult skepticism and the impact of dismissive remarks from authority figures, highlighting the need to cultivate resilience and self-belief from a young age. The conversation offers a heartfelt reminder of the roles parents and educators play in preparing children to face a world that may not always value their feelings or perspectives. Join us for this enlightening episode, where Tyra's passion and insights provide a roadmap for empowering the next generation.

Unlock the secrets to creating harmonious parenting plans that stand the test of time. Join us for an enlightening conversation with Connecticut attorney Kevin Hoffkins, who brings over 35 years of family law experience to the table. Kevin sheds light on the pitfalls of vague legal language and offers strategies to avoid prolonged court battles through the crafting of clear, customized parenting agreements. Discover how specific terms and financial penalties can help maintain peace and structure in custody arrangements, reducing the potential for conflict and ensuring a stable environment for children.

Explore the art of effective co-parenting post-divorce and learn how to include vital clauses that protect parental rights and foster cooperation. Together with Kevin, we unravel the complexities of religious upbringing disputes and the critical role of non-disparagement clauses. By sharing real-world examples, our discussion offers valuable insights into balancing differing parental beliefs while prioritizing the well-being of the child. We emphasize the importance of clear communication, collaborative strategies, and a tailored approach that considers all aspects of family life, from cultural practices to holiday traditions.

Finally, we delve into the nuances of holiday arrangements within parenting plans and the importance of specificity to avoid misunderstandings. From pickup and drop-off times to access to medical and school records, we cover every detail needed for a comprehensive and effective plan. Our conversation highlights the benefits of mediating agreements outside of court and the growing trend toward equal parenting time. By focusing on child-centered divorce strategies, we aim to provide a roadmap for parents seeking to create fair and lasting arrangements that truly center around the children's best interests.

Family lawyer and mediator (and author of our first book's foreword!) David Morneau joins us to shed light on the emotional rollercoaster of divorce proceedings and the legal system's role in intensifying fears. With his practice of principled cooperative negotiation, David offers a refreshing perspective on handling conflicts constructively, emphasizing the importance of supportive voices like ours here at Been There Got Out. Together, we unpack how fear often drives conflicts and delve into fear-mongering in the legal sphere, highlighting the need for more empathetic approaches in resolving disputes.

The episode journeys into the heart of emotional intelligence, exploring a shift from aggressive legal practices towards empathy and compassion. We discuss how societal norms and media influence, like the sensationalism of shock culture, impact emotional regulation and decision-making, especially in high-stakes environments such as family court. By embracing vulnerability, individuals can make informed choices, moving beyond blame and creating empowered, solution-focused dialogues.

Finally, we stress the importance of equipping individuals with conflict management skills from a young age, challenging the traditional view of these as merely soft skills. Drawing inspiration from thinkers like William Ury and Jonathan Haidt, we advocate for civil discourse and the powerful role of listening, urging a societal shift towards critical thinking and empathy. Through personal anecdotes and cultural reflections, we highlight the courage needed to lead with vulnerability and foster respectful conversations, ultimately paving the way for healthier relationships and peaceful resolutions.