🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?"

If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction.

But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's why:

"A surprisingly high percentage of people who come with high conflict divorces get through the mediation process successfully without having to resort to litigation," Liz explains. "Because by the time they start mediating and working through and understanding what their options are, they kind of realize that they're not likely to get a better resolution by litigating."

Even if mediation doesn't result in settlement, you gain something invaluable: information.

"Keep your mouth shut and listen to what they're having to say and encourage them to talk," Liz advises for that crucial first session. "You will learn a lot about what's important to them, what they are thinking about, what their strategy might be. And that's all information that you can use in the future, even if you're not using it right now. And that's worth a lot."

This conversation reveals why mediation is always worth trying, how to prepare strategically, what you can realistically expect, and why sometimes the "difficult" partner actually comes to mediation thinking they're smarter than everyone else—which creates an opportunity.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why high-conflict parties often come to mediation (thinking they can "bamboozle")
✅ The role of a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) in keeping things factual
✅ How facts, law, and math create a limited range of outcomes regardless of process
✅ Why it's "absolutely always worth trying" mediation (even if only costs a few thousand)
✅ The first session strategy: Keep your mouth shut and gather information
✅ What you can't mediate (hint: anything that happened in the past)
✅ How to prepare for mediation: agenda, goals, realistic expectations
✅ Why you shouldn't tell your mediator your "whole sad story"
✅ Strategic approach: Easy wins first to build goodwill vs. tackle hard stuff
✅ How to use what you learned in session one to inform session two
✅ Avoiding "barstool counsel" (Facebook groups, well-meaning friends)
✅ Second Saturday workshops: Free divorce education for women
✅ Why emotions are "on fire" and how professionals help manage them
✅ When Liz's daughters asked "Mom, can we get divorced?"

About Liz Merrill:

Liz Merrill, known as "the divorce whisperer," is a Colorado-based divorce mediator who spent 20 years in a marriage with a narcissist—a very successful research scientist considerably older than her. They had three daughters together and moved all over the world. "I thought I had to stay in this situation for my children and for my own safety and for my financial safety," Liz shares. When her daughters (all around mid-teens at the time) came to her and asked, "Mom, are we—can we get divorced? Why are we?" she realized she wasn't being brave by staying—she was scared. She filed that day. The divorce process was as horrible as she feared, requiring a loan to pay for it. She went from attorney to attorney trying to explain her situation, and "almost all of them were horrible to me. They were acting like I was the problem." This experience, combined with recognizing how badly the court system is set up for divorces (particularly for people in abusive marriages and domestic violence situations), caused her to shift careers midlife. She used her limited maintenance time to get mediation training and build her business. For seven years now, she's helped hundreds of couples navigate divorce, with her approach informed by lived experience of surviving high-conflict marriage.

"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!"

Six months later: Same person, different body.

If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not your fault. But it is something you need to understand if you ever want to break free.
"Love addicts are in love with love," Sherry explains. "And when they don't have a relationship, it feels like they are in the ethers of emptiness. So they will often settle for less because they feel so empty."

That emptiness isn't weakness. It's not being "too needy" or "not strong enough." It's an attachment wound—often formed before you could even speak—that created a nervous system wired to associate chaos with love and safety with boredom.

The good news? Once you understand how trauma bonds form, how intermittent reinforcement hijacks your dopamine system, and why your body literally becomes addicted to emotional chaos, you can finally start rewiring your patterns.

What Makes This Conversation Essential:

🎯 Names the exact cycle ("same person, different body")
🎯 Explains WHY safe feels boring (nervous system conditioning)
🎯 Reveals early attachment wounds most people don't know they have
🎯 Shows how toxic partners "hook you in" from the beginning
🎯 Unpacks intermittent reinforcement = slot machine addiction
🎯 Provides daily practices for recognizing worth beyond people-pleasing
🎯 Shares Sherry's personal recovery journey (love addict → trauma therapist)
🎯 Explains different types of addiction (love vs. codependency vs. romance)
🎯 Offers specific 12-step program recommendations

Perfect For:

- Anyone who keeps attracting the same toxic partner
- People whose ex had addiction issues or personality disorders
- Those recovering from narcissistic abuse
- Anyone who feels empty without a romantic relationship
- People who find "stable" partners boring
- Those dealing with shame about their "bad picker"
- Anyone ready to understand the neuroscience of their patterns
- People who need permission to choose safety over excitement
- Those seeking community support that actually heals

About Sherry Gaba:

Sherry Gaba is living proof that understanding your patterns can transform your life. A psychotherapist and love addiction specialist, Sherry describes herself as "a love addict in recovery"—someone who experienced the emptiness, the people-pleasing, the turning herself "into a pretzel" to please unavailable partners. Her attachment wound? Being premature and spending her first three months in an incubator without maternal contact. "I was in an incubator. I did not get that first three months of attachment with my mom. So I had a lot of separation anxiety, attachment wounds." This early rupture, combined with an emotionally unavailable mother, set up lifelong patterns of seeking external validation. After being married to an alcoholic, Sherry shifted from working with addicts to working with families of addicts—recognizing her own codependency. Her specialty now encompasses love addiction, codependency, toxic relationships, and narcissistic abuse, using deep trauma therapy to help people connect internally rather than seeking external sources. Al-Anon literally changed the geography of her life—she moved from California to Florida because of connections made in recovery. Author of "Love Smacked," Sherry offers a free trauma quiz to help people understand the childhood roots of their relationship patterns.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Breaking the cycle of toxic relationships
01:28 - The link between domestic violence and love addiction
03:10 - Sherry's background: From addiction work to toxic relationships
04:54 - The early attachment wound: Premature birth and incubator effects
06:55 - Why you're attracted to what you know (e

🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement."

That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men and author of five books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide," it's an epidemic affecting far more people than you'd think.

Most people assume this compulsive need for external validation is a "female thing"—the anxious, preoccupied partner always seeking reassurance. But Ralph works with thousands of men who fit this exact profile: codependent, anxiously attached, desperate for their partner's approval, and willing to tolerate almost anything as long as they get occasional positive reinforcement.

This conversation reveals the attachment dynamics behind toxic relationships, why men stay way too long hoping things will change, and what happens when men finally do show vulnerability—only to be punished for it.

What You'll Learn:

✅ What validation addiction actually is (and why it's different from just being "needy")
✅ Anxious vs. avoidant attachment: The relationship dance that creates misery
✅ Why most men seeking relationship help are codependent and anxiously attached
✅ The "toxic hopefulness" pattern: Why men keep saying "I'd take her back"
✅ How avoidant partners can appear almost narcissistic (but aren't quite)
✅ Why men don't seek help or open up about relationship problems
✅ The devastating pattern: Man shows vulnerability → Woman withdraws → Sex stops
✅ Sex as the "barometer" for relationship health (male perspective)
✅ What happens when a woman walks into a men's support group
✅ Why gender-specific support works when mixed groups don't
✅ The echo chamber problem: Getting validation instead of reality testing
✅ How the Brotherhood creates safe space for 1,400+ men

About Ralph Brewer:

Ralph Brewer is the founder of Help for Men and author of five books, including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" (which has sold hundreds of thousands of copies and brought roughly 80% of his membership) and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide." He runs a private membership community called the Brotherhood with over 1,400 men, offering discussion forums, live Zoom meetings, over 1,400 hours of audio content, coaching, courses, and in-person conferences. The organization just held its sixth annual conference and brings together men recovering from divorce, overcoming abusive relationships, and rebuilding their lives. Ralph has been creating content under the handle "Dad Starting Over" for over a decade, with some videos reaching millions of views.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Validation addiction isn't just a female thing
00:55 - Ralph's background: Help for Men, the Brotherhood, five books
02:58 - Defining validation addiction: Compulsive need for external approval
04:30 - Anxious vs. avoidant attachment styles in relationships
05:59 - Why men in our community seem more hopeful than women
07:48 - The "toxic hopefulness" pattern: "I'd take her back no matter what"
09:53 - Why men don't seek help or talk about relationship problems
11:40 - Society's message to men: You're weak if you can't handle her
13:55 - The shame of being controlled by someone "so much smaller than you"
16:22 - How abusive partners weaponize children to maintain control
18:54 - "Who you gonna go get, mister?" The emasculation tactic
19:52 - What happens when a woman walks into a men's group
21:18 - Sex as the barometer for relationship health (male perspective)
22:57 - The Dead Bedroom Fix: How Ralph's book built his community
23:16 - 70% buy lifetime membership: What that says about community value
24:00 - In-person conferences: Building real friendships beyond online support
25:00 - How to find Help for Men and the Brotherhood

🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."**

Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between special needs children and custody battles.

If you have a child with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other neurodivergent conditions, this conversation could change how you approach your custody case and protect your relationship with your child.

**What You'll Learn:**

✅ Why special needs cases are exploding in family courts (and what's driving the increase)
✅ The 3 types of gatekeeping: Facilitative vs. Protective vs. Restrictive
✅ When "protecting" your special needs child crosses the line into alienation
✅ Implicit bias against neurodivergent parents in family court (and how to counter it)
✅ Why having ADHD or autism doesn't make you an unfit parent
✅ How your ex weaponizes your child's special needs against you
✅ The perfect storm: Over-involved parent + under-involved parent + autistic child
✅ Why family systems therapy is crucial for neurodivergent family cases
✅ What to do when therapy sessions keep getting canceled (consequences that actually work)
✅ Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention strategies
✅ Why one judge managing your entire case makes all the difference
✅ The "Welcome Home Pluto" approach to psychoeducation for parents

**About Ashish Joshi:**

Ashish Joshi is an attorney whose practice focuses on cases involving family violence—including domestic violence, intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, coercive control, and parental alienation (which he describes as gatekeeping behaviors). His earlier background in criminal defense and family law led him into alienation work through issues of child suggestibility and forensic interviewing in child abuse cases. Over time, he's become a leading expert in cases involving neurodivergence—whether it's a parent on the autism spectrum, a child with severe ADHD, or other special needs situations. Ashish is frequently cited in our books and has become part of what we call the "dream team" of professionals who truly understand the most extreme divorce, separation, and custody situations.

⏱️ **TIMESTAMPS:**

00:00 - Introduction: The special needs + alienation connection
01:40 - Why 90% of special needs families divorce
04:43 - Ashish's niche: Family violence, alienation & neurodivergence
07:04 - Implicit bias: When courts assume neurodivergent parents are unfit
09:19 - The 3 types of gatekeeping (facilitative, protective, restrictive)
12:18 - Red flags of restrictive gatekeeping behavior
16:30 - The "perfect storm" in special needs custody cases
20:15 - Why family systems therapy is essential
24:50 - Enforcing therapy when the alienating parent won't comply
28:40 - Court orders without consequences = meaningless paper
33:34 - Creative solutions when teens refuse therapy
36:48 - Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention
38:08 - The importance of psychoeducation (Welcome Home Pluto)

**⚠️ This Interview Is Critical If:**

- Your child has autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other special needs
- Your ex is saying "the child only responds well to me"
- You've been accused of being unfit because of your own ADHD or neurodivergence
- Your ex is weaponizing your child's special needs in court
- You're the highly attuned parent worried about crossing into restrictive gatekeeping
- Therapy sessions keep getting canceled with no consequences
- You're seeing early warning signs of alienation but parents are still together
- You have court orders that aren't being

🎯 "Just pretend they are dead."

That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back.

Steven is now an attorney with 37 years of experience, a guardian ad litem who represents children pro bono in custody cases, and the author of "Pretend They Are Dead"—a riveting memoir about what it's actually like to be the alienated child.

This conversation offers a perspective rarely heard in discussions about parental alienation: what happens to that child decades later? What are the long-term effects? How do you survive and build a life after that kind of abandonment?

What You'll Learn:

✅ What it's like when your father disappears and you come home to a stranger who's now your "new dad"
✅ The Brady Bunch from Hell: Being thrown into a blended family with zero preparation
✅ How compartmentalizing helps kids survive—and haunts adults later
✅ Why Steven describes his emotional state as "the feeling of no feeling"
✅ The journey to reuniting with his biological father (spoiler: there's no fairy tale ending)
✅ What Steven sees as a guardian ad litem that parents don't understand
✅ Why anger in custody disputes makes everything worse for your kids
✅ The critical importance of not bad-mouthing the other parent (from someone who lived it)
✅ How to present yourself to a GAL if one is appointed in your case
✅ Why therapy and exercise are non-negotiable for parents in high-conflict divorce

About Steven Eichenblatt:

Steven Eichenblatt is a personal injury attorney in Orlando, Florida with 37 years of legal experience. He represents children pro bono as a guardian ad litem in custody cases—work he's passionate about because of his own childhood experience with family disruption and parental abandonment. He's been married three times, is a father of five, and openly discusses how his childhood alienation affected his ability to form intimate emotional connections in his adult relationships. His book "Pretend They Are Dead" chronicles his experience being abandoned by his biological father, adopted by an abusive stepfather, and his later journey to reconnect with the father who left.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Adult alienated child + attorney + guardian ad litem
01:57 - "Pretend they are dead": The title's devastating origin
03:05 - Steven's background: 37 years as attorney, guardian ad litem work
03:26 - What happened: Father disappeared, new man moved in overnight
05:11 - The Brady Bunch from Hell: Seven kids, no counseling, punitive rules
07:25 - Major disruptions all at once: New father, siblings, name change, move
09:21 - Compartmentalizing to survive: "The feeling of no feeling"
12:15 - Difference in impact between Steven and his twin sister
15:40 - The journey to finding his biological father (no fairy tale)
18:22 - Learning his father's side of the story (complex, no villains)
21:35 - Long-term effects: Struggles with intimacy and emotional connection
24:10 - What he sees as a guardian ad litem
27:45 - How to present to a GAL: Don't be angry, be organized
30:18 - The critical mistake parents make: Bad-mouthing the other parent
33:50 - Why the "victim role" doesn't serve you or your kids
37:24 - Practical advice: Therapy, exercise, managing anger
40:21 - Where to find Steven and his book

READ STEVEN'S BOOK:

📚 "Pretend They Are Dead" - Available on Amazon
🌐 Website: www.stevenscottiechenblatt.com
📧 Available for questions and lawyer referrals in Florida

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Parental Alienation Course (Launching March 2026)
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

#ParentalAlienation

🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief."

Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researcher, ex-military, and grief expert—explains the unique grief of alienated parents during what he calls the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year).

This conversation addresses the grief no one talks about: when your child is alive but you've lost them. When they've rejected you or been turned against you. When you're experiencing what Jock calls "living bereavement."

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why grief isn't the five stages you learned (and what it actually is)
✅ The "golden thread" that runs through every type of loss
✅ Why disconnection—not death—is at the heart of all grief
✅ The first grief people don't recognize: disconnection from yourself
✅ Why holidays amplify grief for parents separated from children
✅ How anger serves a purpose (and what to do with it)
✅ The power of journaling—written, video, or audio
✅ Why gratitude needs to go deeper than surface level
✅ How to know yourself when you've lost your center
✅ Practical tools for processing grief without closure

About Jock Brocas:

Jock Brocas is a spiritual medium, psychologist researcher (finishing Masters in Transformational Psychology), founding chief editor of Paranormal Daily News, and author of multiple internationally published books. With backgrounds in military service and monastery training, Jock brings unique perspective to grief work—combining spiritual wisdom with psychological research. He's spent over 25 years helping people process all types of loss, from battlefield deaths to relationship disconnection to parental alienation.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Grief expert meets Been There Got Out
02:42 - What makes this grief different from death or divorce
04:48 - Jock's background: Medium, psychologist, military
09:01 - Why the "stages of grief" are wrong
15:30 - The Bermuda Triangle: Holidays and alienated parents
20:45 - Disconnection as the heart of all grief
27:15 - Anger's purpose and how to channel it
33:40 - Journaling as cathartic practice
38:20 - Video and audio journaling techniques
42:35 - The first grief: Disconnection from yourself
44:07 - Understanding gratitude beyond surface level
47:18 - Jock's upcoming grief course
48:40 - Final thoughts on transformation

CONNECT WITH JOCK BROCAS:

🌐 Website: https://JockBrocas.com
📱 Instagram: @jockbrocas
📰 Paranormal Daily News (Founding Chief Editor)
📚 Multiple Published Books on Spirituality & Grief

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Parental Alienation Course (March 2026): [Link]
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

#Grief #ParentalAlienation #AmbiguousLoss #LivingBereavement #HolidayGrief #Disconnection #GriefTherapy #SpiritualMedium #ChildRejection #HolidaysWithoutKids

🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids."

If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.

Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certified mediator, and co-parenting expert who's been helping parents since the 90s. But she's also been exactly where you are—terrified that divorce would ruin her children's lives.

Now, years later, with thriving adult children (including a middle child who recently told her she finally understands what a healthy relationship looks like), Jill shares what actually protects kids during high-conflict divorce—and why your fear that they'll be ruined is probably wrong.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Signs your child is struggling vs. normal adjustment to divorce
✅ Why anxiety and depression in kids look different than you'd expect
✅ What regression actually means (it's not just bedwetting)
✅ Why your ex will treat your child differently than they treated you
✅ How to respond when your ex badmouths you to the kids
✅ The power children have that spouses don't (and why this matters)
✅ Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting: When to accept reality
✅ Communication strategies when every notification triggers your PTSD
✅ Why using ChatGPT for emails usually backfires (and what to do instead)
✅ The one truth that changed Jill's perspective: Staying in an unhealthy marriage teaches kids THAT is what relationships look like

About Jill Barnett Kaufman: Jill is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, and certified mediator who's specialized in parenting and co-parenting since the 1990s. She runs a large Facebook community for people going through separation and divorce and offers group coaching, one-on-one support, an online course, and a book. Most importantly, she's lived it—she went through her own high-conflict divorce when her son was 12, experiencing the same terror about her children's futures that she now helps other parents navigate.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Will my kids be okay?
01:44 - Signs your child is struggling with divorce stress
03:10 - What regression looks like (beyond bedwetting)
04:47 - Anxiety and depression in children: What to watch for
06:16 - When temporary symptoms become concerning
08:39 - Why your ex will treat your child differently than you
09:52 - The power kids have that you didn't as a spouse
11:15 - How to respond when your ex badmouths you
13:40 - Teaching kids to set boundaries (without coaching them)
15:20 - The importance of listening more than talking
17:36 - Why parents shouldn't script kids' responses
19:00 - Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting reality
19:58 - Communication when every notification triggers PTSD
20:45 - Common communication mistakes (even with ChatGPT)
22:35 - The truth about staying "for the kids"
24:25 - Why kids feel responsible when you're struggling
25:27 - How to find Jill and her community

CONNECT WITH JILL BARNETT KAUFMAN:
🌐 Website: https://DivorceCoachJill.com
📧 Email: [email protected]
👥 Facebook: Separation and Divorce Support Community
📚 Book, Online Course, and Group Coaching available

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

#KidsAndDivorce #HighConflictDivorce #ParallelParenting #DivorceCoach #HealthyParent #CoParenting #AnxiousKids #DivorceAdvice #ParentingAfterDivorce

🎯 If divorce paperwork makes you want to crawl under your desk and never come out, you're not alone—and you're not broken.

Jorie Houlihan, a certified life coach specializing in ADHD (and diagnosed herself at age 49), explains why so many people in high-conflict divorce situations struggle with the organizational demands—and what actually helps.

Even if you don't have an ADHD diagnosis, the strategies Jorie shares work for anyone dealing with overwhelm, decision fatigue, and the paralyzing stress of legal deadlines!

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why ADHD diagnoses are surging (especially for women) and what it actually looks like
✅ The subtle signs of ADHD that get dismissed as "character flaws"
✅ Why divorce paperwork triggers paralysis and decision fatigue
✅ How to break overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks (the "3 questions at a time" method)
✅ Body doubling: The weird productivity hack that actually works
✅ Why analog tools (paper lists, physical timers) outperform digital for many people
✅ Time blindness and how to work with it (not against it)
✅ Celebrating small wins when you don't have a natural sense of accomplishment
✅ Why "I did my best" isn't always enough—and what to do instead

About Jorie Houlihan:

Jorie is a certified life coach who specializes in working with women diagnosed later in life with ADHD. After being diagnosed herself at age 49—30 years after first trying to talk to a doctor about it—Jorie now helps clients understand how their brains work, put guardrails around struggles, and recognize their strengths. She calls herself "your guide for the dopamine deprived" and hosts the podcast "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan."

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: ADHD and the shame cycle
02:25 - Why ADHD diagnoses are increasing (it's not what you think)
04:49 - The three presentations of ADHD and subtle signs
07:19 - ADHD in divorce: Paralysis with paperwork and deadlines
10:38 - The "3 questions at a time" method for overwhelming tasks
13:25 - Externalizing thoughts: Why writing everything down matters
16:42 - Decision fatigue and simplifying choices
19:50 - Breaking tasks into tiny steps (and why that's not "cheating")
23:15 - The dopamine crisis and shame cycle
26:40 - Body doubling: The productivity hack that sounds weird but works
29:30 - Analog vs. digital: Why paper lists and physical clocks help
33:12 - Celebrating wins when accomplishment doesn't come naturally
35:31 - ADHD strengths: Creativity, pattern recognition, empathy
37:57 - How to find Jorie Houlihan

CONNECT WITH JORIE HOULIHAN:

🌐 Website: https://joriehoulihan.com
📱 Instagram: @joriehoulihan
💼 LinkedIn: Jorie Houlihan
🎙️ Podcast: "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan" (available everywhere)

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

🎯 If your child is drowning in anxiety from family stress and you're tired of adding more therapy appointments, this conversation will open new possibilities.
 
Brian Barry, Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, explains why anxious kids don't need fancy tools or expensive art supplies—they just need curiosity, enthusiasm, and a chance to get their hands messy.
 
Lisa visits the Clay Art Center to explore how creative activities help children process stress without the pressure to talk about their feelings—perfect for kids dealing with divorce, custody transitions, or family conflict.
 
What You'll Learn:
 
✅ Why anxious kids benefit from creative outlets (not more talk therapy)
✅ How clay's messy nature forces kids off their phones and into the present
✅ The misconception that art requires talent or expensive supplies
✅ Why "working with your hands" helps process emotions kids can't verbalize
✅ How failure in ceramics teaches resilience (things explode, break, or don't turn out—and that's okay)
✅ The importance of NOT forcing kids to talk about feelings during creative activities
✅ How digging wild clay teaches science, math, and perseverance
✅ Why parents should work alongside their kids (without pressuring performance)
✅ Alternatives if you don't have a local art center (air-dried clay, local schools, community programs)

About Brian Barry:

Brian Barry is the Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, where he coordinates community arts programs for children and adults. Before joining Clay Art Center, Brian worked at an educational nonprofit providing free tutoring for students in grades 2-12. Despite having zero ceramics experience when he started, Brian has learned firsthand how accessible and transformative working with clay can be—no prior experience or fancy tools required.
 
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Art activities for anxious children
00:27 - Brian introduces himself and Clay Art Center
02:06 - Misconceptions about art and who it's "for"
04:07 - You don't need experience, skills, or expensive supplies
04:58 - Digging wild clay: Kids learn from start to finish
06:09 - The science behind clay (testing, absorption rates, shrinkage)
07:38 - Math, science, and art working together
09:15 - How clay helps anxious kids process emotions
10:30 - Technology addiction and why clay forces presence
11:53 - Learning resilience through failure (things explode and break)
13:16 - Student transformation stories: Confidence and growth
14:52 - Getting kids out of virtual worlds and into creative spaces
16:46 - The importance of joy (not performance or pressure)
18:03 - Why forcing kids to talk about feelings can backfire
19:00 - Alternatives if you don't have a local art center

CLAY ART CENTER:

📍 Port Chester, NY
🌐 Website: [Clay Art Center website]
📱 Instagram: [Clay Art Center Instagram]

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog

🎯 If your adult child has cut contact and you think it's too late, this interview will change everything.Ginger Gentile, director of the documentary "Erasing Family" (free on YouTube), has helped reunite 180 families—including cases where parents had NO contact with adult children for up to 12 years. No email access, no phone number, didn't even know where their kid lived.And here's the surprising part: in the most successful reunifications, the child initiates the reconnection, not the parent.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why your first step ISN'T reaching out to your child (and what to do instead)
✅ How to release trauma responses that push adult children further away
✅ The social media strategy that works (your kids ARE watching, even with fake accounts)
✅ Why "I did my best" isn't the response adult children need to hear
✅ How to become a "magnet" that draws your child back
✅ The difference between fighting in court vs. strategic preparation
✅ Why celebrating small victories (like a viewed text) matters more than the "big win"
✅ Real success stories: From 12 years of silence to reconnection

About Ginger Gentile:

Ginger is the director and producer of "Erasing Family," a documentary told from the child's perspective about how divorce impacts kids. As someone who experienced parental alienation herself as a child, she brings both personal and professional insight to healing families. After the documentary's release, parents began asking for help reuniting with their children, leading Ginger to create a coaching program that has helped 180 families reconnect—including adult children who had been estranged for years.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Introduction: Reuniting families when kids are over 18
02:26 - The first strategic step (it's NOT reaching out)
04:20 - Ginger introduces herself and the Erasing Family documentary
06:24 - Why you need to become a "magnet" that draws your child back
06:58 - The third way: Not fighting, not waiting, but actively preparing
08:36 - Dealing with the "us vs. them" narrative without becoming defensive
09:35 - When Ginger used the words "you abandoned us" about her own dad
12:45 - The difference between "I did my best" and what kids need to hear
15:20 - Why adult children feel entitled to space and how to respect boundaries
18:40 - How kids spy on parents using fake social media accounts
21:15 - The social media strategy alienated parents are missing
24:30 - Small steps and victories: Viewed texts, brief interactions
27:50 - Why you can't control the outcome but you can control your response
30:45 - The power of releasing trauma responses and staying calm
33:20 - Learned helplessness vs. taking strategic action
37:16 - Leaning into the grief: "It's my funeral and my kids didn't show up"
38:22 - The importance of validation rather than toxic positivity
40:25 - Progress over perfection: Tracking small wins
42:17 - How to find Ginger and her team
42:50 - The importance of community and accountability

WATCH THE ERASING FAMILY DOCUMENTARY (FREE):

https://www.youtube.com/erasingfamily

CONNECT WITH GINGER GENTILE:

🌐 Website: https://reversingparentalalienation.com
📱 Instagram: @erasingfamily
🎬 YouTube: @erasingfamily

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:

📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog