Been There Got Out Podcast

Does My Child Need Therapy During Our Divorce? Play Therapist Answers


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Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important.

In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic approaches can offer, and how to find the right mental health professional for your family's specific situation. Jenny shares expert insights on play therapy, EMDR for trauma processing, and why the "oxygen mask principle" applies to parents navigating custody battles.

Whether you're just starting separation proceedings or deep into a custody battle, this conversation provides the guidance you need to support your child's emotional wellbeing while taking care of yourself too.

🎯 WHO THIS IS FOR: Parents navigating high-conflict divorce or custody disputes who want to protect their children's mental health and get practical guidance on therapeutic support options.

đź’ˇ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

00:00 - Introduction: Helping kids through parental conflict
00:27 - How common is post-separation parental conflict?
01:25 - Signs your child is experiencing trauma from divorce
01:59 - Why "reorganization" matters for children
02:54 - Should every child in divorce see a therapist?
04:30 - What to look for: When professional help becomes necessary
05:42 - Why parents need therapy as much as kids do
07:23 - The airplane oxygen mask principle explained
08:45 - How your emotional state impacts your children
10:12 - Why kids can "see" more than you think
11:48 - Your child's heightened sensitivity during conflict
13:16 - What parentification means in divorce situations
15:03 - How children fill emotional voids
16:42 - Warning signs your child is becoming your support system
18:28 - Why kids blame themselves for parental struggles
20:15 - The danger of children taking on adult roles
22:07 - Play therapy explained: What happens in sessions
24:33 - Age-appropriate therapeutic approaches
26:18 - Why play is the "language" of childhood
28:45 - EMDR therapy for processing divorce trauma
31:22 - How EMDR works: The science behind bilateral stimulation
33:58 - Different EMDR techniques (eye movement, tapping, music)
36:14 - When EMDR is most effective for children
38:42 - How to locate qualified play therapists and EMDR specialists
40:17 - The EMDRIA directory resource
41:53 - Psychology Today as a search tool
43:28 - The importance of therapeutic "fit"
45:06 - The "three session rule" before making a decision
47:22 - What to do when therapy isn't working after months
49:11 - Lauren Barnett's therapist matchmaking approach
51:38 - The "favorite teacher" technique for finding the right match
53:55 - Why personality compatibility matters more than credentials alone
55:42 - Jenny's children's book: "Made for This"
57:18 - Using stories to start difficult conversations
58:50 - Final advice: It really does start with you
60:05 - Wrap-up and how to connect with Jenny

📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

EMDRIA (EMDR International Association) directory: emdria.org
Psychology Today therapist finder
Jenny Hornby's book "Made for This" (children's book about facing fears)
Instagram: @MissJennyBooks
Website: MissJennyBooks.com

👥 ABOUT JENNY HORNBY:

Jenny Hornby is a licensed counselor in Virginia, clinical supervisor, and specialist in both play therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). She works with children ages 4 and up, providing individual therapy, family counseling, and parenting support. Jenny is also a children's book author, using narratives to help kids process difficult emotions and experiences.

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Been There Got Out PodcastBy Chris & Lisa

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