SUMMARY - In this episode of the Brain First Parenting podcast, Eileen sits down with a very special guest, her husband of 20+ years, Dave Devine. Eileen & Dave have a conversation about what it's been like for Dave, in his role as a father to his now teenage daughter who lives with FASD, a serious neurobehavioral condition, to shift his lens over the years to a Brain First lens.

TAKEAWAYS:

• The experience of dads are often overlooked in the parenting spaces, leaving a gap in support which can lead to feelings of isolation and hopelessness for these fathers. Their experience is unique and deserves unique support.
• Dave shares memories of feeling inadequate and ineffective as a dad, especially early on when he began to realize his daughter's development was not "on track".
• Stepping away from a behavioral lens and shifting to a Brain First lens was possible with education and support, over time.
• The question, "What do you need from me, to be a good parent to you?" as been helpful for Dave as he works to parent two kids who have drastically different needs.
• Curiosity and openness is at the heart of finding success, joy, and delight in this parenting experience, specifically the father experience. It takes practice to cultivate this as the dad of a child with a serious neurobehavioral condition.
• The steepest part of the learning curve for Dave has been to remember that his daughter has an invisible, brain-based difference, especially when her behavioral symptoms are acute.
• Deeply-held beliefs and values will clash with your kid's behavioral symptoms. Getting clarity on where and why this is happening is important in order to parent from a Brain First lens.
• We discuss why connection and relationship has become the highest priority for Dave (in relation to his kids) vs behavioral compliance

RESOURCES:

Join the waitlist for the Focus on Father Program! 2025 cohort is opening for registration soon!

Blog Post: Dads Need Support, Too: Three Ways That Fathers Raising Neurodiverse Kids Struggle, and One Thing They Can Do

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