You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask instead
• How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
• Why a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

• Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse fires
• Ep. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notes
• Starts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series — multiple episodes: one on inside, one on outside, one on between

Books

• Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — specifically Chapter 7 (Nat's story); available in paperback, ebook, and audio wherever books are sold; bulk ordering at RobynGobbel.com/Book
• Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — pre-order available; publishes September 21; signed copies available through her local bookstore 

Free Resources

• Free Resource Hub — RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub
• Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors — free audio training for professionals; May 4–8, 2026; register at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors

Paid / Member Resources

• The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child's Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
• Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

In-Person Trainings

• Full list at RobynGobbel.com/Training

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/itsnotworking

Presence in Practice: An Experiential Workshop into the Neurobiology of How Change Happens

RobynGobbel.com/MIPIP26

Early Bird rate expires June 15!

:::

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)