The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

EP 275: Does Lowering Demands Ever Cause More Stress?


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Screens. Sugar. Anything that feels really good. The advice to just "lower the demand" can fall really short because for some kids, more access brings real relief. But for others, more access actually causes more stress and we wind up asking kids to take on a responsibility that is beyond their developmental capacity.  

This episode digs into what's actually generating the stress underneath the behavior, and what it looks like when a kid needs to be held steady instead of shifting our expectations.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why high-reward things like screens carry their own built-in stress, and how that changes the question of whether to give more access or less
  • What it looks like when a kid needs the burden of managing something taken off their shoulders entirely
  • How to tell if a boundary is actually working: not whether your kid protests, but which direction things are trending over time

If this is landing for you and you want to map this out for your own kid, come join us in The Club. Our resource library and our members will help you map your child’s nervous system, troubleshoot things when they don’t seem to be getting any better, and show you how to take care of yourself in the middle of all of it. 


Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting → RobynGobbel.com/enabling
  • Exploring Low Demand Parenting → RobynGobbel.com/lowdemand
  • Stress Response System → RobynGobbel.com/stressresponse


Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/morestress

Immersion Program for Professionals!

The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals is NOW accepting applications for our 2027 cohorts. You MUST be on the waiting list to be eligible to apply so head to RobynGobbel.com/Immersion and put your name on the waiting list!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
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LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

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The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}By Robyn Gobbel

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