If you thought that the abuse would end after you left your abusive partner, you may be stunned and extremely overwhelmed by the continued abuse.  Post-separation abuse can look different from the abuse when living with your abuser, but it can be just as harmful if not more.  

So, how is it possible for you to maintain a sense of hope while you are still being abused?

What is hope?

Wikipedia says that hope (noun) is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.  I prefer the definition of the verb, hope; expect with confidence.

It is important to hold onto hope, not as the belief that life will always be rainbows and butterflies, but one that includes the reality of the situation we find ourselves in.  

Here are some tips to maintaining hope as you go through post separation abuse:

• As you learn more about abuse, look for the opportunities of what you can use to better your situation and choose information that has a positive outcome, not just the horror stories.
• Put as many safe people around you and your children as possible.
• Acknowledge your progress, even the small victories
• Write down your goal and put it in places you can see it
• Get therapeutic support if the hopelessness remains and if you have thoughts of harming yourself or others.

Links:

Dial 988 to talk with someone at the suicide and crisis hotline

https://988lifeline.org/

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