SUMMARY - Why do the same power struggles keep happening over and over again between parents and children? In this episode, Eileen explores the “coercive cycle,” a pattern first identified by researcher Gerald Patterson and his colleagues after decades of observing parent-child interactions. Through a Brain First lens, she explains why these escalating moments are often rooted not in defiance, but in lagging skills, nervous system dysregulation, and patterns both parents and children can unintentionally get stuck inside.

TAKEAWAYS:

• What the parent-child “coercive cycle” is and how it develops
• Why escalation often reinforces the cycle for both parents and children
• How traditional behavioral interpretations can keep families stuck
• The role nervous system dysregulation and lagging skills play in conflict
• Why “won’t” is often actually “can’t”
• How parent triggers, beliefs, exhaustion, and burnout can intensify interactions
• Questions to ask yourself before engaging with your child
• Why using fewer words and disengaging early can help interrupt escalation
• How a Brain First lens shifts the goal from control to regulation and connection

RESOURCES:

The Resilience Room Membership Community

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