Everyone tells you to “choose yourself.”

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But no one really explains what choosing yourself actually means or how to do it in a way that doesn’t leave you burnt out, overwhelmed, or feeling like you’re doing it wrong.

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In this episode of the F*CK Trauma Podcast, I’m breaking down what choosing you really means, why so many people misunderstand it, and how to start choosing yourself in a way your nervous system can actually hold.

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This episode is especially important if you struggle with anxious attachment, self-abandonment, people-pleasing, burnout, or feeling like you’re constantly pushing yourself from survival.

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Because choosing yourself isn’t about cutting people off, acting unbothered, forcing confidence, or playing it cool.

It’s about building self-trust, internal safety, and boundaries with yourself first - so you stop sabotaging, overriding your body, or abandoning yourself for relationships, goals, or outcomes.

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In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What choosing yourself actually looks like in real life (not the Instagram version)

• The most common ways people misunderstand and get choosing themselves wrong

• Why forcing change, discipline, or “motivation” often leads to burnout and self-sabotage

• How anxious attachment and survival patterns show up when you don’t feel safe with yourself

• Three simple ways to start choosing yourself today by building trust with your body and nervous system

• Why small, consistent actions matter more than intensity, overhauls, or willpower

• How choosing yourself internally changes your relationships externally - without trying to control or chase the outcome

This episode is the foundation.

Before we talk about the chosen wound, anxious attachment patterns in relationships, or why you keep chasing to be chosen, we have to start here - with safety, self-trust, and learning how to stay in relationship with yourself.

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If you’ve ever wondered:

• Why does choosing myself feel so hard?

• Why do I keep abandoning myself for people, goals, or validation?

• Why do I burn out every time I try to change or improve my life?

This episode is for you.

Take the pressure off.
Start where you are.

And learn how choosing yourself actually begins - quietly, gently, and powerfully.

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If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program ⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love ⁠⁠where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full.

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Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Becoming Secure You⁠⁠⁠

Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Stop Attracting Avoidants⁠⁠⁠

Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠Stop Them Pulling Away⁠⁠⁠

Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠

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Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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