Anxious attachment doesn’t come from the people you date - it comes from the belief that you are not chosen.

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In this episode of the F*CK TRAUMA Podcast, I explain why they’re not choosing you - and why it has far less to do with them than you’ve been led to believe.

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If you keep finding yourself in cycles of anxiety in love, attracting emotionally unavailable partners, or waiting, chasing, and hoping to be chosen, this episode will connect the dots for you.

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SHARE this with your friends also stuck in these cycles

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This is not surface-level dating advice.This is the belief underneath everything.

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I’m breaking down the “not chosen” wound - a subconscious belief formed in childhood that says:

• I’m not a priority• I don’t matter as much as others• Love isn’t safe• I have to earn being chosen

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And how this belief silently shapes your relationships, your attachment patterns, and even who feels “right” to you.

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In this episode, I share:

• Why anxious attachment is rooted in self-concept, not other people

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• How the not chosen belief causes people to pull away, ghost, or say “I’m not ready”

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• Why you end up chasing reassurance, texts, effort, or commitment

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• How “waiting to be chosen” actually creates more rejection

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• Why people who do want to choose you can feel uncomfortable or boring

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• How this wound shows up not just in romantic relationships, but in family, friendships, work, and money

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• The exact shift that changed every relationship in my life - including attracting my fiancé

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I also explain how the Law of Assumption works in relationships, why people are mirrors of your internal beliefs, and why awareness alone is not enough to create lasting change.

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If you’ve ever thought:

“Why does this keep happening to me?”
“Why does it always start well and then fall apart?”
“Why do I feel anxious the moment I care?”

This episode will land deeply.

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And if you’re ready to stop understanding this pattern and actually shift it, I’ve created a new masterclass called From Chasing to Chosen.

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Inside the masterclass, I guide you through reprogramming the not chosen belief at the subconscious and nervous system level, so you’re no longer reacting, spiralling, or self-abandoning in love and instead begin embodying the version of you who expects to be chosen.

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Watch From Chasing to Chosen masterclass

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✨ Next episode: I’ll break down the specific behaviours that show you’re unconsciously waiting to be chosen - even when you think you’re not. Hit FOLLOW so you don't miss it!

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If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program ⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love ⁠⁠⁠where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full.

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Free Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Becoming Secure You⁠⁠⁠⁠

Signature Program: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Anxious to Secure in Love⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Connect with me on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@candicetamara_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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