Do you feel like you can never trust another person again?  Ever?

The coercive nature of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse take aim and destroy your ability to trust in others and trust in yourself.  One of the main reasons for this is because of the different violations of social contracts that you have experienced.

The definition of social contracts according to the Oxford Dictionary is “an implicit agreement among the members of a society to cooperate for social benefits.”  So basically what we know and agree are how specific people are supposed to act.

• Parents are supposed to meet the needs of their children and offer them unconditional love.
• A police officer is supposed to protect the good guys and hold the bad guys accountable.
• A soulmate or partner is supposed to love us, work through conflicts with cooperation, want the best for us and be loyal.

When these are broken, our trust is broken.

So, what can you do to start to rebuild the capacity to trust people again?

• Move slowly and with intention
• Remember that there are different levels of trust and closeness and not everyone will be in your inner circle of trust
• You will need to learn to trust yourself before you will be able to start to discern whether or not to trust others.  You can do this by becoming attuned to yourself, learning your likes and dislikes, values, and emotional cues.  By being consistent and showing up for yourself in the ways you say you will.  And by offering yourself grace and unconditional love.

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