I'm gonna be really honest, all right? There's one thing that drives me absolutely crazy in my relationship:

My partner doesn't use the dishwasher.

It's such a small thing, but it drives me a bit mental. And for most of us, even if we're not controlling people, this is how controlling tendencies show up: in the day-to-day. In the loading of the dishwasher. In the way they fold their socks.

Why do we do this to our partners? Does this mean we're terrible people?

Good news: no. Bad news: you still gotta sit down and work on that shit, babe.

We end up being controlling in a relationship because we feel emotionally unsafe. We're feeling turmoil, and we're so afraid that if we lose control, we will lose everything. But we need to start examining the root of these fears if we don't want to actually lose everything…including our partners.

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