The Rising Beyond Podcast

Ep 75: Deciphering Trustworthiness: Finding Support During Post Separation Abuse


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The support space for working with victims and survivors of domestic violence is confusing.  It can be really difficult to know who to trust.

We talk about rebuilding trust all the time on the podcast and within The Rising Beyond Community and I find myself in a parallel process as I find the best people to share their stories, insights, and strategies with you.  

I can have an amazing conversation with a professional in this space, have several clients with positive experiences, and then have several in a row that are horrific.  For example some of the attorneys who I have worked with in the past, who have really stepped up and understood what domestic violence and narcissistic abuse are and how it impacts the children all of a sudden are completely different.

The parallel processes of feeling like I can’t win, feeling like I cannot trust anyone unless I have a complete background check on them, know their entire history, and get 3 references, and feeling like there is a moving target match much of what you are going through.

And what it always comes down to for me is promoting your autonomy.  Promoting you in building trust with yourself so that you feel confident in making decisions.

When following or paying for any service or support, ask yourself:

  • How is this person benefiting from me?
  • Do they do what they say they are going to do?
  • Do they make promises?
  • Is my gut telling me anything about this person?
  • Am I being loyal to a fault with this person?
  • What can I learn from this person?
  • When is it time to move on?


You are the expert in your life and your situation.  You get to make the decisions.


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The Rising Beyond PodcastBy Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS

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