Live Through Love with Ruben Rojas

Ep. 80 - Decoding Attachment and Building Better Men with Adam Lane Smith


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This is an Operation Podcast production, connect with us @operationpodcast.

Ever wonder how our life experiences can shape our paths and understanding of love and relationships? Join us as we journey alongside Adam Lane Smith, a renowned attachment specialist, as he uncovers his path from a childhood of abuse and neglect to becoming a beacon of understanding and empathy in the field of attachment therapy. Adam's candid narrative offers a compelling look into the power of conscious choices and the courage necessary to confront our deepest fears.

Adam joins Ruben to dive deep into modern masculinity, societal pressures, and the unique challenges faced by men in our contemporary society. We champion the importance of supporting one another, establishing male communities, and fostering mutual acceptance. Adam's wisdom shines as we explore the transformative power of honest communication, self-reflection, and love, and the incredible changes they can bring about in our lives and relationships.

We then dive deeper into the concept of love as an action and not merely a feeling, and how a balanced relationship with fear can serve as a tool for protection and growth. Adam shares his insights on how individuals can evolve into better versions of themselves by seeking feedback and allowing their partners to express freely. This conversation will leave you reflecting on the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and the significance of consistently checking in with our partners. Join us for this thought-provoking exploration of love, fear, and personal growth!

How does Adam live through love? “It is being honest with yourself in each situation about what your fear is driving you to do and then choosing to ask what is best for each person, including yourself, and DOING IT.”

"There was a time when I, like many, just thought love and attachment were the same thing - a simplistic equation that didn't need dissecting… We are designed to know what love is, even if we don't get it.” - Adam Lane Smith

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In this episode, you will learn…

  • Love and attachment are complex interplays of emotions and not simply interchangeable terms. The episode emphasizes the importance of understanding these complexities and the power they hold in shaping our relationships and interactions. 
  • Building strong support systems and fostering mutual acceptance and understanding, particularly for men, can significantly impact societal pressures that often leave men feeling emasculated and ashamed. 
  • Love is an action, not just a feeling. Setting boundaries, allowing partners to express freely, and consistently checking in with our partners are crucial in creating healthier relationships. 
  • Fear can be a tool for protection when balanced with love. Recognizing and understanding this balance can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. 
  • Honest communication and active listening are vital for improving relationships. By setting guidelines and allowing partners to express themselves, relationships can become stronger and more meaningful.

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"Find that hero in your story and make yourself that hero.” - Adam Lane Smith

About the guest: Adam Lane Smith is a transformative force in the field of personal development and relationships. Leveraging years of professional experience as a licensed psychotherapist, he has honed his craft as a highly sought-after Attachment Specialist and personal coach.

Follow Adam @attachmentadam

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