Food Shrinks

Episode 42: When “Help” Hurts


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In this raw, unfiltered episode of Food Shrinks, Molly Carmel, Clarissa Kennedy, and Molly Painschab dive deep into the experience of chronic invalidation—how it shapes us in childhood, follows us into adulthood, and can even show up in professional settings where we expect safety and support.

The conversation starts with a reflection on how easy it is to compare our insides to others’ outsides when we’re struggling, then moves into a powerful exploration of what chronic invalidation really is: having your emotions minimized, dismissed, or shut down repeatedly until you learn to hide them for safety. The trio unpacks how this often leads to people-pleasing, disconnection from feelings, and even attracting relationships that repeat those early patterns.

Molly P. shares a deeply personal and recent story of seeking medical treatment for depression and anxiety—only to be met with invalidating, oversimplified advice from a provider. Together, the hosts dissect why such “just love yourself” and “befriend your depression” comments can be not only unhelpful but harmful, especially for people with trauma histories. They discuss the power dynamics at play, the nervous system’s response to speaking up, and the difference between spiritual bypassing and genuine therapeutic support.

Listeners will walk away with:

  • A clear understanding of what chronic invalidation is and how to spot it.
  • Why “always” and “never” statements are red flags.
  • How invalidation can masquerade as help, even from professionals.
  • The importance of repair in relationships and why healing doesn’t happen in isolation.
  • The reminder that you’re not broken—you just need support to live life on life’s terms.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation or appointment feeling unseen, minimized, or “made the problem,” this episode will help you name that experience and begin reclaiming your voice.

📧 Have a question or topic idea? Email: [email protected]

The content of our show is educational only. It does not supplement or supersede your healthcare provider's professional relationship and direction. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, substance use disorder, or mental health concern.

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Food ShrinksBy Clarissa Kennedy, Molly Carmel, Molly Painschab

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