• Sarah, a partner and attorney at New Direction Family Law, interviewed Ashley Oldham, another partner, and attorney at the same firm, about military divorces.
• Military divorces have unique challenges, such as deployments, custody during deployment, and division of military pensions and benefits.
• There are three bases for jurisdiction under federal law regarding military pensions: consent, domicile, and residency for reasons other than military assignments.
• To benefit from certain accounts, no set length for marriage is required. Still, if the marriage overlaps with military service for ten years, the spouse can receive direct payments from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service.
• It is crucial to pick an attorney who knows enough about military divorce to understand what they do not know and can outsource to others.
• In a military divorce, all military entitlements count for child support, not just taxable income.
• The frozen benefit rule, which affects how much of a pension a former spouse is entitled to, has changed with the National Defense Authorization Act and may be worth less than expected due to disability benefits.
• Survivor benefits are unitary benefits, meaning they go to one person, but the pension can be divided among multiple spouses.
• Military attorneys are available for legal assistance, but they may not be licensed in the state and may not be knowledgeable about family law.

In this episode:

• What are some reasons that the court would say you can move or not move during a divorce? Domestic violence is a completely different circumstance.
• Some of the things the court considers is:
  • will it benefit the child
  • family
  • crime statistics
  • culture & art
  • an opportunity to make a better living
• Many times a separation agreement will outline terms related to relocating.
• What can happen if a parent does move with the kids without a court order?
• The age of children and connections they have with friends, school, sports, and their community often will factor into a judges decision as well.

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.
If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode:

• What is a prenup and why is it important
• Advantages and disadvantages of prenups
• When should a couple consider getting a prenup
• Common misunderstandings and myths about prenups
• What should couples consider when creating a prenup
• What are the legal requirements of a prenup
• How do you make sure that a prenup is legally binding
• What happens if a prenup is challenged in court
• How can couples protect their assets and interests with a prenup

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.
If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• I've been separated for a week can I get on tinder?
• We just got married on a week ago, it was a mistake, can we get an annulment?
• I've been living in NC for a while now and I need to change my custody order, but it is from another state. How do I do it?
• I think my spouse is hiding income during the divorce, how do I find out?
• There is no custody order in place but the other parent is with-holding the child from me. What can I do?
• I've been separated for a bazillion years and I want to file but I don't know where my ex is now?
• If I'm willing to separate and leave the home, should I take the kids with me?
• If I choose to leave the house do I loose the rights to my house?
• My divorce is final, but we didn't do anything with the house we jointly own. Do I still get my equity from the home?
• My soon-to-be-ex wants the divorce, they should have to pay for it, can we make them?
• Is cryptocurrency considered martial property?
• Do you have experience working with narcissistic behaviors?
• Have we seen an uptick in divorces since COVID-19?

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.
If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• David assists attorneys, business owners, and other professionals in determining the value of a company or interest. He focuses primarily on family law, gift and estate, and mergers and acquisitions. 
• His clients enjoy working with him because of his years of experience and choice to pursue long-lasting, trusted relationships. David strives to go beyond just providing a report; instead, he finds ways to communicate why business value is important and help his clients understand every aspect. 
• David works with Carr, Riggs & Ingram (CRI), a Top 25 nationally-ranked accounting and advisory firm driven by relationships to cultivate growth.
• What do you need to do to get an accurate business evaluation? We talk about the process. 
• In a divorce, people often assume their spouse's business is worth more than reported because of money paid under the table, etc. David says you can pay his firm 10-20k to forensic investigation if you believe they are hiding money, but you may be losing money if they are not.
• There are three ways to determine the valuation of a company
  • The asset approach (the fair market value of those assets minus debt)
  • The market approach (looking at the sale price of other businesses similar to the company being evaluated)
  • The income approach (value=benefits over risks)
• When two spouses are in the same business, they each secure services of a firm to get the business evaluated. How do you handle it when the valuations differ? 

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• We talk about the different aspects of divorce as it applies to military families.
• We discuss pensions and how the National Defense Authorization Act changed what a spouse winds up with a divorce. It gives spouses of service members a pension that ends on the day of divorce instead of the full percentage. 
• If you are getting ready to marry someone in the military, we discuss prenups and specifics surrounding military cases.
• One of the most challenging aspects of a military marriage is the potential of moving often and having a spouse who travels a lot.
• Military members have the highest divorce rate of any profession.
• We discuss child custody issues for children of military divorce, which can get complicated with the frequent travel required for military service members.
• North Carolina specifically has the uniform deployed parents custody and visitation act that allows service members to delegate some of their custodial time to a new spouse or a family member while deployed.

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• Why do you have to pay for an initial consultation. This is the reserved time for you to sit with your attorney to get a snapshot of what's going on and answer your questions, educate you of your legal rights and options, and help you develop your plan moving forward.
• You will be listened to and not "talked-at."
• Make sure you tell us all the facts, we are not biased or judgmental. We want to help you.
• Really what an initial consultation boils down to is information gathering.
• It is an extremely comprehensive consultation. 
• If you do a consultation does that mean we are your attorney? No. It does conflict us out from representing your opposing party.
• If I found an online template that is much cheaper, why should I hire an attorney? We discuss this mentality.
• We talk about how legal fees work, what a retainer is, and how an attorney bills for their time.
• We define what an hourly rate is from your attorney's perspective.
• Can the opposing party pay for your initial retainer? 

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• Let's take a relatively simple case where you have temporary custody and support hearing that is limited to two hours with two issues. It will likely take your attorneys four to six hours to prepare.
• We walk through some common outcomes for time spent in court in various situations.
• All the judge has to go on, often times is the credibility of the testimony of those on the stand. So freezing up or not representing yourself well can be very costly.
• We talk about the sad fact that "people lie all the time."
• In our experience it never goes as you plan. 
• A lot of people don't understand that your attorneys are timed in court and the time needs to be spent on issues that can effect the outcome, not just the issues that have upset you personally.
• Post separation support is difficult to settle because there is no equation like there is in child support.
• We talk about the efficacy of mediation and why we love it.
• If one person has more money than their spouse, it can be sad reality that they can litigate their spouse until they're broke. It is sad, but it does happen.
• If someone offers you mediation you should attempt it in good faith.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• We discuss what is happening in celebrity news in the case of Adam Levine. Has he cheated in the eyes of the law?
• From Adam Levine "I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in any kind of flirtatious ma manner, I did not have an affair. Nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life. In certain instances, it became inappropriate. I have addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family."
• North Carolina is a no fault state, so whether or not someone cheated is not necessary for a divorce in our state.
• We talk about what constitutes as illicit sexual behavior in North Carolina and what it effects legally.
• What do attorneys and judges look for in proving alienation of affection?

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). 

In this episode

• The idea around parental alienation is that one parent is doing things to alienate their child from the other parent. It could be saying bad things about the other parent, not allowing communication, restricting access, etc. 
• Richard Gardner was the first one to coin this term. Here are a couple of facts about him:
  • He had no research experience.
  • It was based on nothing but clinical opinion. 
  • He was a part-time clinical professor as a psychoanalyst. 
  • And it was horrible. 
  • It was very misogynistic. 
  • He would always say 90% of the time, it was mothers alienating a father.
• Some examples of parental alienating; Telling false stories about the parent, telling negative stories, not communicating with the parent with the other parent, and not allowing access. Inflexible, Pretty restricting, acting like the other parent is dangerous, portraying them as difficult or scary to the child. These are all things that can do damage to a child's relationship with that parent.  
• The cases most strongly presented to the court are when there's actual physical withholding of the children. Everyone asks at what point can the child decide they don't want to go in the visit, and it's not going to matter. There is no actual age that a child can determine if they want to go in for a visit.
• Do we talk about the effects on the children of this behavior by their parents?
• Do we talk about what tips would you give the other non-alienating parent?
• If you could manage to tell good stories, boost their image, be flexible, promote access, and promote that relationship, your child benefits from that relationship. If you damage that relationship, you are hurting your child. Parental alienation, when it's severe, is considered child abuse.
• Most of the time, both parents share some responsibility for this. Maybe one parent is doing a lot of the alienating behaviors, but the other parent might be doing some as well.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).