Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Fearful Avoidants & Healing Their Push Pull Patterns
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Fearful Avoidants & Healing Their Push Pull Patterns
Explore Your Attachment Style With Thais Gibson. Access All Courses, Live Webinars & Q&As Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-time Access:
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-18-26&el=podcast
Understanding the Fearful Avoidant Push-Pull Cycle
If you have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, relationships can feel like an exhausting emotional pendulum, pulling you toward closeness one moment and pushing you away the next.
In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down why Fearful Avoidants experience this push-pull dynamic and how healing begins by understanding your activating and deactivating strategies, the stories you tell yourself, and the unmet needs driving these patterns.
Episode Summary
Fearful avoidants often carry both anxious and avoidant wounds at the same time. This creates inner conflict, wanting closeness while also fearing it.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why Fearful Avoidants swing between activation and deactivation
How trauma, core wounds, and subconscious stories fuel push-pull patterns
Why calm, secure relationships can feel unsafe or unfamiliar
How emotional regulation helps you identify and meet your real needs
How questioning your internal stories brings you back to balance
Healing isn’t about choosing closeness or distance, it’s about learning how to return to center.
Key Takeaways
Fearful Avoidants have both activating (anxious) and deactivating (avoidant) sides
Push-pull patterns are driven by unmet needs and core wounds, not character flaws
Awareness is the first step, noticing when you’ve left emotional center
Questioning your stories helps prevent emotional dysregulation
Regulating your nervous system allows you to express needs more clearly and safely
Timestamps
00:00 – The Fearful Avoidant’s Push Pull Patterns
00:34 – Fearful Avoidants Have an Activating and Deactivating Side
02:45 – Take Notice of Your Activating And Deactivating Tendencies
03:15 – Heal From a Breakup Course Promo
03:51 – Question Your Stories
05:32 – Regulating Your Emotions Can Help You Meet Your Needs
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
View all episodes
By Thais Gibson
4.7
291291 ratings
Explore Your Attachment Style With Thais Gibson. Access All Courses, Live Webinars & Q&As Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-time Access:
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-18-26&el=podcast
Understanding the Fearful Avoidant Push-Pull Cycle
If you have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, relationships can feel like an exhausting emotional pendulum, pulling you toward closeness one moment and pushing you away the next.
In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down why Fearful Avoidants experience this push-pull dynamic and how healing begins by understanding your activating and deactivating strategies, the stories you tell yourself, and the unmet needs driving these patterns.
Episode Summary
Fearful avoidants often carry both anxious and avoidant wounds at the same time. This creates inner conflict, wanting closeness while also fearing it.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why Fearful Avoidants swing between activation and deactivation
How trauma, core wounds, and subconscious stories fuel push-pull patterns
Why calm, secure relationships can feel unsafe or unfamiliar
How emotional regulation helps you identify and meet your real needs
How questioning your internal stories brings you back to balance
Healing isn’t about choosing closeness or distance, it’s about learning how to return to center.
Key Takeaways
Fearful Avoidants have both activating (anxious) and deactivating (avoidant) sides
Push-pull patterns are driven by unmet needs and core wounds, not character flaws
Awareness is the first step, noticing when you’ve left emotional center
Questioning your stories helps prevent emotional dysregulation
Regulating your nervous system allows you to express needs more clearly and safely
Timestamps
00:00 – The Fearful Avoidant’s Push Pull Patterns
00:34 – Fearful Avoidants Have an Activating and Deactivating Side
02:45 – Take Notice of Your Activating And Deactivating Tendencies
03:15 – Heal From a Breakup Course Promo
03:51 – Question Your Stories
05:32 – Regulating Your Emotions Can Help You Meet Your Needs
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
More shows like The Thais Gibson Podcast
View all
Love Life With Matthew Hussey
2,691 Listeners
The Terri Cole Show
1,411 Listeners
ManTalks Podcast
574 Listeners
The Mark Groves Podcast
4,722 Listeners
LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS
278 Listeners
Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice
1,148 Listeners
Heal Your Heartbreak
644 Listeners
Unf*ck Your Relationships
235 Listeners
On Attachment
1,065 Listeners
Jillian on Love
1,413 Listeners
The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle
346 Listeners
The Sabrina Zohar Show
5,090 Listeners
BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko
1,501 Listeners
Love Strategies: Dating and Love Advice for Successful Women
661 Listeners
Dating Intentionally
521 Listeners