Fearlessly Fertile Podcast

Faced with fibroids the size of pears, Maria worried that her long-held dream of being a Mom wouldn’t come true. When she did get pregnant, she had a heartbreaking miscarriage. Learn how despite these challenges, Maria held firm on her dream conceiving naturally, and with faith, mindset, and the support of a naturopath, she manifested a miracle on HER terms.

In the 3rd episode of this series, my husband I share the biggest lessons we learned as a result of this journey. We share how we not only came out on the other side blessed with our baby boy…but stronger as a couple…for good! Some of the lessons may surprise you.

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

In the 3rd episode of this series, my husband I share the biggest lessons we learned as a result of this journey. We share how we not only came out on the other side blessed with our baby boy…but stronger as a couple…for good! Some of the lessons may surprise you.

The post EP184: The Mr. & Mrs. Austin Series: Biggest Lessons Learned appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 184. The Mr. And Mrs. Austin series. The biggest lessons we learned. Hey loves, I’m so excited to be in this third and final installment of the Mr. and Mrs. Austin series.

And over the past two episodes, we’ve shared some real truths about what we went through, some of the things that we’re going through, our collective heads as a couple. As we made our way through our journey, and it’s certainly our hope that this has helped you and really given you some insight that might not just validate what you’re going through, but also maybe take you a few steps down the road so it can help you anticipate some of the complexities, the situations.

And points of conflict that can come up in a couple who’s living this journey. So I thought that the coolest way to bring this particular three part series to a close would be to share some of the biggest lessons that we learned. Now, I want to be really clear about something. This isn’t just lessons learned, Pollyanna, it’s all going to be okay.

I want you to really hear why this journey was a gift in our lives. And I know that is probably the opposite of what you might believe right now. And I know that a lot of people get stuck in victimhood. Why me? Why is this happening to us? Why is this happening to me? Can’t we just catch a break? But I want to do something smarter than just wallow and circle the drain with you.

I want to lift you up. I want you to see bigger and brighter and bolder than you might otherwise see. Because I come from the perspective, and I believe my husband does now, everything that we went through was preparation for being Asher’s parents. And the kind of life That we live today could not be more dramatically different than the life that we would have been leading had he come the minute that we asked him to come into our family.

And this is why if you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time, you at one point or another have heard me say that this journey gave me my life back and that this journey was a blessing and it was a gift. And I understand that when you’re in the middle of it, that might be something that you find hard to swallow, but it is a fact.

And it is a fact that women all over the world who get to the other side of their journey better for it will agree with. And that’s what I want for you. I think, I think that’s what we want for you. So without any further ado, babe, would you like to share the top 10 things that you learned on this journey?

Thanks, love. I broke it down a little bit different because I think there is some personalization for everyone, uh, going through this journey. And so I have it just simply about what I learned about us and what I learned about the grand design of things from my newfound perspective at the end of it.

About us, uh, the strength of our relationship, we believed we were uh, strong, but never being tested. And any measurable way. I mean, it was good sale in times, uh, up until, uh, things weren’t. And so we didn’t have any adversities, things were working out pretty well for us. It also demonstrated the commitment we had to one another and, uh, our, our respect for each other’s goals and how.

It was important, and we discussed it before, that neither one of us wanted the other to not have their dreams fulfilled, um, on our own, on our own part. We did try and enjoy the journey. We did, you know, uh, things were funny at times. We made day trips out of things. We saw even in the, in the difficult aspect of it, that we can still live, live to have some fun and do some things for ourselves.

And, uh, we built wins, uh, small wins, tiny wins. We would try and see those as a, as a boost. And so, uh, I, I always appreciated and loved our approach to how. We did certain things, things that I thought that anyone could benefit and learn from. The big one for me, and we’ve discussed this a little bit before is, is courage takes non traditional forms.

Me as a very masculine male thinks, you know, I’ve got this protection duty and there’s going to be the, the bad guy jumping out of the bushes and I’m going to be there to save my, my beautiful bride. Um, it, it wasn’t. ever, uh, a thought in my mind that There would be a doctor that we were uncomfortable with that I would have to have the courage to stand up and say, no, that’s, that’s not going to work for us.

So courage takes non traditional forms is how I wrote that. We discussed this in another, um, segment, but one plus one does not always equal three. One parent and one parent does not equal a child. And that violation of my expectations was something that was difficult to wrap my head around. Not only was the violation of the expectations difficult, but I think we had always attained through hard work.

So we had expectations, plus hard work, didn’t carry the mission through. And that was affecting us, you know, on, on two fronts. So what I learned was expectations, plus hard work, without mindset, didn’t mean anything for us. Another big one that really changed my life was deciding whether or not something was happening to us or for us.

And that’s a simple little twist of phrase, but it means drastically different things. And so, A lot of things have happened to us that have happened for us. And I think that was critical in advancing my mindset. We have to be aware of owning our journey with a deliberate mindset and not let things overwhelm us.

Be aware of what decisions may need to be made ahead of time. I think frequently, I know for myself, I go into a situation. With the open mind of let’s review all of the information and then we’ll make a decision. Well, I think there’s. At times, and I’m not saying fear rehearse, uh, but what I’m saying is you can anticipate what could be presented ahead of time, uh, with a little bit more diligence.

I know I didn’t because at the time I was deferring a lot of my decision making, uh, to what a professional said my decision should be. The next thing I wrote was Partners Resolve may be more damaging than productive. And this is directly related to what I saw you putting yourself through. You were driving yourself so hard without taking the appropriate care of yourself that you were damaging yourself physically.

And mentally and emotionally and to approach things with a good work ethic is, is always generally a positive, but if you’re doing the work ethic without the proper mindset, it can be damaging. So I think that’s what I saw was taking place when you were really, really trying to drive this home. I always felt like we were an effective team and treating it like a team kept it light, kept it fun at times.

I think there’s studies out there about, you know, Hey, teams that high five more are just more successful. There’s more physical contact, there’s more joy, there’s more engagement with one another, there’s more accountability, there’s more responsibility. So I always thought us treating it like a team helped keep things a little bit lighter and a little bit more productive.

And, uh, simple where the, where the mind goes, the body follows. And if your mind is spiraling down, like I kind of going back a couple points and that’s generally the direction your body’s going to go. So I thought those were some points that anyone could use, uh, based on what we had gone through. Those are awesome, babe.

And I really, I really like that you pointed out that. You know, there was a disconnect between your expectations and what was happening, you know, that there, there isn’t necessarily a correlation between the hard work and an outcome. And mindset is the key to bridging that because this is completely nonlinear, like it’s so different from anything else that you and I had ever lived.

I mean, for the most part, there is, you put in X amount of work, you get Y results. And I think that’s one of the things that is consistently most mind boggling for people is that, you know, I’m doing everything. And, you know, and I guess the question that sometimes I ask in response to that is, are you really doing everything?

Not from a perspective of you’re not good enough or that it’s just sometimes we end up finding out that we’re avoiding some things that we really need to do. And for us, it was having joy. For us, it was traveling again. For me, it was getting some mentorship that really helped me get out of that blocked place.

So when we say, oh, we’re doing everything, chances are that’s not exactly true. There’s no way that any human being can do everything. It’s just a turn of phrase to say, are you doing everything? But most of the time, we’re missing some stuff. And when we’re trapped in our own stories, it’s often the most important stuff.

So we were working hard, but we weren’t necessarily doing the right things for us. Just like if you’re not gluten sensitive, then going gluten free doesn’t mean shit. So it’s, it’s about doing the right things for us and the right things for me, the right things for you. So I think what you raised there is really good.

And so here are my top 10. And they’re not in any particular order. They’re just what came to mind. I mean, I think in truth, we probably could have a list of 100, but I think these are the ones that that come to mind the most. Number one, if I truly desire something, I can have it. And that was probably me.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned very quickly because I, you know, in my mind, I thought that Asher was just, you know, at the darkest times that he was unattainable, that there’s no way we were going to bring him home. But the reality was, is the way that we were doing it was going to virtually guarantee that he wasn’t coming home.

The second thing that I learned was the timeline is not relevant. It’s totally fucking made up. Totally made up. Because I think that The idea that, oh my gosh, I was on a crash course with 40, you know, this baby’s not going to come. It’s like, who cares? Who cares? Like, that didn’t matter at all. He decided to come when I was almost 44.

I was months away from my 44th birthday. So it’s like, when you get caught up in these numbers, that’s somebody else’s story. That’s somebody else’s paradigm. It’s not ours. So the timeline is not relevant. There’s a difference between longing for this child and falling into the idea that if they don’t come by a certain date, it’s over total bullshit.

If you long for them and you hang in for them, they will be there. Third, I can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic. And for me, that was probably one of the biggest leaps. That was probably one of the biggest mental leaps that I had to make because as a prosecutor. And, you know, looking at statistics, looking at, you know, DNA results, all kinds of stuff.

It was very, quote unquote, fact and science driven. But there’s an element to this that has nothing to do with what’s, you know, written in the statistics or anything like that. There is this X factor. Where belief comes in, where spirit comes in, where faith comes in, and there was a choice that could be made.

I could choose to be an outlier. I did not have to be a victim of statistics. And I think that switch is, is critical and which is also why I put victimhood is a choice. That was my, my fourth thing. The fourth lesson that I found so pivotal and and what’s crazy is I would have never thought I was a victim Back then I thought you know, I had everything together.

I work hard I’m not victimized by anything But the truth was my mentality was that of a freaking victim and when we talk about victimhood we’re talking about Powerlessness, we’re talking about handing our license and agency for our outcomes and our lives to other people, which is why that dovetails so nicely with, I can choose to be an outlier because as long as I accepted statistics as my faith, that’s what it would be.

So the sixth one, God is real. There is divine intelligence and it was there the whole time. And I’ve talked about this in my, my faith series. That I struggled with that idea for a long time and that, that dovetails again with this, this whole idea of victimhood thought I was being punished who, you know, what kind of.

Infinite intelligence or God or universe would put any woman through this. And what’s crazy is it’s a presumption that this journey is bad. That’s the underlying belief that, that really gave me a very troubling, I think, relationship with my faith. It was, it was rocky. You know, it also didn’t help that I got dragged across the playground by the ear by a nun, sixth grade.

But all that aside, this journey gave me an unshakeable faith. I saw the hand of what I call God, universe, source, Gus, God, in so many things, in the people that came into our lives, in moments of grace. in seeing Asher. Like, it’s crazy. Every time I look at our son, it’s like, dude, there’s no question. There’s no question that God is real and exists everywhere, because when I look at him, it’s just crazy.

The next lesson that I learned was really interesting was what I need always shows up, and it’s always in an unexpected way. And it’s interesting because this journey, even it was funny because the amount of money we were investing, the things that we were doing totally shook me to the core because at the beginning of our journey, I was hardcore in lack and scarcity.

That was definitely one of the things that I had to move out of from childhood programming, that there wasn’t enough, that that’s too expensive, uh, that’s for other people. And that having it all was selfish. And when we embarked on this journey, the truth was, whenever we needed something, it always showed up.

Always. There was always enough. And it was crazy, because it didn’t hap like, there wasn’t a bag of money that fell out of the sky. It showed up in a lot of different ways. And, and when you make that shift, to think from a place of abundance. And you see the whole truth that everything you need has always shown up in your life at one point or another.

And it sometimes comes in a form that you didn’t expect. It may not be a cash per se, it could be a blessing in some other way. The reality is, is we live in an abundant universe. So. All of these things stacked together, all the, the points that I’ve made up to this point, really was opening my mind and, and having me see beyond the matrix that I was raised in.

It was super shocking. And. The next point was, I’m willing to be the woman that finds out. I think that was a turning point. That was a real turning point in my journey, was being willing to be the woman that finds out. Because I, I spent so much time on our journey in fear. Like, I was afraid. I was afraid that this was never going to happen.

And so when I started shifting my mindset, that decision to be the woman that got to the end of her journey and found out and knew what it meant and knew what it was like to do everything that I knew to do so that I didn’t have regret, that changed my life. And that shows up in the way that I write. It shows up in, in the work that I do.

It shows up in the way that I coach is I was willing to be the woman that finds out. Okay. And I think I have two more quick points. The next one is everything. Even the uncomfortable shit is for me. And that lines up with what you were saying, too. Everything is for me. And when I started believing that, when I started practicing that, because, you know, you have to repeat that more than a few times.

That’s not something that’s easily Uh, just incorporate it into your psyche. But when I started living from that place, hey, even the most uncomfortable shit, even the most painful shit, it is happening for me. It gave me a new level of resilience and it gave me so much courage in the face of what felt like defeat.

So everything, even the uncomfortable shit, is for me. And then the last one is failure isn’t final. And I think that this was another intensely important lesson for me to learn, particularly for what I was transitioning into, you know, going from work as a prosecutor into going into a line of work that I had never done before.

Nobody I knew ran a business. Nobody else I knew was a coach and it really ran up against. Everything I believed at that point, except what I knew in my heart that I had to share what I had learned and the failures. I could have let the failures say, Oh, well, you’ll fail at that too, because look at this long history of failure, but I knew that there was more.

I knew that the failures were propelling me to something bigger and something better, and they definitely weren’t final. So those are my top lessons, babe. Any thoughts on those? Yeah, absolutely. I think so many of ours are stated differently, but in essence, staying the same thing, going back to the point of for us and one point that.

I thought was relevant after you spoke about yours was that even, even today, if something happens for me, I don’t even question what the reason is going, what it is, what it is, uh, why it’s happening, when I’m going to see the why or the what I don’t, I just have a, an absolute faith. And I remember the tremendous sense of peace I received.

Laying in the hospital bed going, why did this terrible thing happen to me? Wait a second. It didn’t happen to me. It happened for me. And I don’t need any explanation beyond that as to when I’m going to realize it happened for me and what this will mean in my life in the future. There’s going to be something greater that comes through this.

Yeah, I think your point is well taken because there’s been so many things that have happened in our lives since Asher was born, you know, moves, accidents, things that, you know, all this crazy stuff that has shown up in our lives that all of these lessons that we’ve shared with the ladies today have come back to serve us.

10, 000 times over in so many different ways. So I really appreciate what you shared, babe. I think that was really awesome. And I hope that all of you listening are going to take some of this to heart and really think about, are there ways currently That you can open up with your partner about what you’re learning on this journey.

Are there ways that maybe you, you guys might not be that far apart, but if you overcome some of the mindset blocks that you’re sitting with right now, or old beliefs or old hurts or old wounds or holding on to the need to be right, that what’s possible, what could open up? I mean, you could be having a conversation very much like this.

Which is why we set it up this way to mirror, you know, what are, what are some of the things that you and your partner have learned, because you just may be surprised you might not be as far apart as you think. Anything else, babe? Love. I think there’s a lot of lessons to be taken from the journey. Were we seeing them as lessons when we were immersed in it?

No. No. It’s a hell of a lot easier to look back and, and see what they. Were as we sit here today, so I would encourage everybody to look for that best. They can out of every situation. It’s, it’s not the easiest thing, but the small wins add up and the small wins can change a heart and a mindset and, and being committed to knowing that.

I’m gonna do what I, everything I can and, and leave nothing on the table. And I, like I said, in one of the previous segments that, uh, I’d rather, uh, be broken and certain than, than rich and uncertain. So for me, uh, those were some of the critical points that there were times where I, I, I certainly wish I had at the very, very beginning, some of these points that I made.

And, uh, I hope to help people. Uh, as they go through it, so they don’t make the same mistakes we did, and they don’t feel the same way we did. Well, and the reality is, is, you know, you have to be ready to get this information, you have to be ready to receive this information, and, you know, the point of this is that take what you want from it, leave the rest like a Vegas buffet, like, it, you know, some people may not be ready to hear that this journey is a gift, and that’s okay, it’s totally fine.

You’ll find out on your own, if you’re willing to see it. But the bottom line is that. It’s very rare to have this kind of insight into what’s really going on for a couple. And our heart was in the place of wanting to save you some grief and some misery and perhaps destruction in your relationship by bringing some of these really hard topics to the surface because there, I mean, we’re confident in ourselves and our lives and who we are enough that bringing this to you, we, we hope that it’s, it’s really going to be of service.

So. That’s it from the Austen’s loves. If you loved what Mr. Austen and I shared here, you got to know that relationship is a critical thing to be working on, and we absolutely cover it in my Fearlessly Fertile Method program. So although registration in the Fearlessly Fertile Relationship is now closed for 2022, we definitely get into some of this goodness.

In my signature fearlessly fertile method program and that program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success to apply for your interview for my fearlessly fertile method program.

Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP184: The Mr. & Mrs. Austin Series: Biggest Lessons Learned appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

If you’ve ever wondered if you were crazy for feeling stressed out, strung out, and scared sh*tless about where things are headed on your journey, tune in to this raw and real conversation my husband and I had about the stress we endured on our journey.  We share how we dealt with it. It’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. It will be a great conversation starter with your partner! Want to be part of The Fearlessly Fertile Relationship? Check it out here: https://go.frommaybetobaby.com/sales-page-fearlessly-fertile-relationship55865226

Have you ever wondered what is really going on for your partner, as the two of your navigate your fertility journey? In this series, you are going to get to hear one man’s perspective on what it’s like to be the “other half” of the fertility equation. Even the strongest relationships can take a beating on this journey! If you want to come out on the other side of it with your baby AND your partner, turn this series UP!

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

Have you ever wondered what is really going on for your partner, as the two of your navigate your fertility journey? In this series, you are going to get to hear one man’s perspective on what it’s like to be the “other half” of the fertility equation. Even the strongest relationships can take a beating […]

The post EP182: The Mr. & Mrs. Austin Series: Fertility Journey…What appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 182. The Mr and Mrs. Austin series. Fertility journey. Hey loves, this week I’m so excited because we are starting in on a series that has been on my heart to dive into deep relationships.

Why? Because even the strongest relationships can take a beating on this journey. And if you want to come out on the other side of yours with your baby, your relationship and your sanity, you can’t afford to neglect your relationship. Now, I know you’re thinking, but Rosanne, I’m doing so much already.

Treatments, diets, lotions, potions, holding down a full time plus job, trying to do self care. I have to look after my relationship too? Um, yeah. Who the fuck else is gonna do it, love? Do you really want to leave the fate of your relationship to your partner? I didn’t think so. Now look, that isn’t to say that our partner couldn’t do it, but let’s be honest, mama.

Let’s be honest. You aren’t the kind of woman who just sits back and watches shit burn to the ground. You are a go getter on all fronts. Now the problem is this journey isn’t like everything else that might come up in your relationship. You’ve got to have a different set of tools and a different perspective, which is why we’re doing this series and ultimately why I’ve launched my brand new program, the fearlessly fertile relationship, which enrollment is open for now.

My alumni and VIPs got their invitations last week, and it’s open to the public now with some really awesome pricing and bonuses that are going to be available only until the 27th of August. So if you are interested in doing better. For your relationship. So ultimately you can do better for your baby and your family.

You got to take a serious look at this, but back to our topic today, here’s another reason why your relationship is so critical on this journey. And, and I hope you listen to this carefully and recognize that it really is this important. So our relationship is the first place we dump our stress. And it’s the last place we look for blocks, bad move.

Think about that. You see pent up resentments, slights, disappointments, frustration, losses, poor communication, lack of perceived reciprocity and needs not being met are a recipe for creating blocks to your baby. In your relationship, yes, your relationship can create blocks to your baby. Because when you feel isolated, alone, unseen, judged, pressured, and like a host of other things by your partner, how can you possibly trust them?

And if you don’t trust your relationship, it’s exponentially harder to trust yourself, your body, and this baby. Your relationship is the foundation upon which your family is built if you happen to be partnered. So, shit’s gotta be solid. And this journey will quietly eat away at your relationship if you aren’t careful and can make you doubt your partner and maybe even have you wonder if they’re willing to go the distance.

Scary stuff. This is where I see women freak out about their partner pulling the plug. Wanting to stop trying or making scary ultimatums. We’re going to get to all of that goodness in this series, so buckle up. But I just wanted to really frame this up for you about why this is so important. Because 9 times out of 10, we’re telling ourselves, Oh, shit’s going to get better once our baby gets here.

And I really want to lovingly, you know, grab you by the shoulders and say, look, you can’t afford to wait that long to attend to your relationship. Because if you wait for your baby to get here and you have let your relationship go. What you may find when you go back to try to, to reconnect and, and get things straight might be so tattered and torn from this relationship that you may be quite surprised.

So don’t make that mistake. And having coached women to fertility success for the past eight years, I, I got to tell you, I have seen kind of both sides of this and then having lived it myself, I’ve seen. What this journey can do. So this isn’t something that you can fall asleep at the wheel, you know, when it comes to this, you can’t fall asleep at the wheel.

You’ve got to be as assiduous with your relationship as you are with your treatments, diets, and everything else that you’re doing, because your relationship. Is the foundation of the family that you’re building mama. So that’s why we’re going to be spending a good amount of it. Time and attention on this.

And, you know, I wanted my husband to come on to the podcast because he’s a red blooded Marine, former first responder, amazing dad, and all around hell of a guy. He’s steady handed, grounded, and I think most people relate to him. And I think he brings a perspective that is fresh, unabashedly masculine, and at times, fairly hilarious.

So, all of that being said, let’s get into this with Mr. Austin. Okay, babe. Why don’t you start us off by just sharing a little bit about, like, When we first realized that things weren’t going exactly as we had hoped when we were trying to conceive Asher, like what were some of the things that were going through your head when you heard me talking about going to see a fertility doctor, start Looking at other options, like what was going through your mind?

I guess the first thing that went through my mind was probably a fair bit of confusion. Maybe I was young and dumb and naive, but I believed what my teacher said that one plus one. Always equaled a third and we weren’t getting that that third piece and I was confused and you being the solution oriented individual you are immediately started looking for the answer and I just thought maybe a little bit more time and time ultimately did pass while you look for a solution.

And we found ourself driving all over the place doing insane things to try and make this happen. And so, yeah, I, I, I, confusion was my initial reaction. And so when you say one plus one equals a third, you mean like the two of us together, we’re going to equal Asher. Yes. Yes. We are a sum, a total of two and the two of us doing things, uh, always equal the third, according to my teachers in school.

Well, so, okay. So what were some of the things that were going through your mind when you, I mean, because it’s, you know, that I’m a solution oriented person, as you said, so it probably would have been. Relatively easy to kind of sort of stand by at that point because you see me going into attack mode.

Like, did you feel the immediate need to go into the same kind of crazy as I did? No, when you see me pick up a chainsaw, you don’t come running to get in the way. And so when you get into finding a solution to something, I stay out of it. It’s difficult to get in my wife’s path of vision when she’s wielding wild notions.

Uh, you don’t want to be a victim of those wild notions. So I thought I could sit back, and I probably did for a fair amount of time, but sitting back ultimately turned into Uh, different forms of worry and stress and anxiety, uh, over so many different topics. Let’s talk about some of the, the stress and anxiety that you had, because I think that, you know, we spend a lot of time looking at the woman in the partnership and, you know, see her doing the diets, the lotions, the potions, the treatments, and, and like me, you know, mapping out a Napoleonic attack plan, you know, For, for how we’re going to make this happen.

So it would be awesome if you would just share a little bit about like, what were some of your concerns? I think the biggest concern that I can recall that was the most genuine for me was that one of us was more committed to the process than the other. And that oscillated back and forth. I felt, uh, that there were times where I thought, uh, I, I could be pushing you too hard.

There were times where I thought you were pushing us too hard and the, the, the individual commitment to the process. Was not equal and I I didn’t want to feel like I wasn’t participating and and supporting and I didn’t want you to have any concerns that I wasn’t willing to see this process through whatever the process was.

I’m speaking obviously in general terms and. I didn’t want you to feel as though you, you weren’t receiving the support and it was, it was difficult because finding a solution on my end, it doesn’t seem as equitable for the men’s half, uh, to carry their share of the burden. It certainly falls. Far more to the female half of, of the relationship to pull a lot more of this stress and this weight.

Yeah. Well, and some of that’s that, you know, we create ourselves because I think truth be told, like, I don’t, I don’t know back then that you would have known how to support me. Cause like, I mean, one of the things that this journey really taught me was, was how to communicate. Cause I know for a fact that.

You know, when, when this became a reality, like at first it was fine. Like I was thinking, okay, you know, this isn’t working. So we’re going to go have some treatments and this, this shit will be resolved by may, you know what I mean? Like that’s kind of what I was thinking, but as time was going on, I think I was getting more and more discombobulated because.

All of the typical logical and linear things that I was trying and that we were trying, it just wasn’t working. So, I mean, from your perspective, did you even know back then how to support me? No, I supported you in the standard ways that I could, as if you were preparing for a jury trial that I knew. Was stressful to you and supported us, uh, just as generally as I could with regards to our, our relationship, but yeah, I, I felt like I was fumbling along a lot and not knowing how to aid was, was really difficult and certainly created a sense of inadequacy.

Would you say back then that I was an excellent communicator? Uh, no, I, you think you’re an excellent communicator now. I don’t know who you’re fooling, but, uh, the communication is certainly, it is certainly evolved. I think there were things that we were probably both just flat out scared to talk about. I don’t think it was scared of.

Bringing it up with a partner at the time. I just think it was, uh, generally topics that, you know, we spent a majority of our life and never thinking about. And then all of a sudden, how do you, how do you speak about it? You have to get that stuff clear in your own mind. And then, well, how do I communicate that to somebody else that’s going through what you might perceive, uh, to be a more difficult time with it?

It’s, it’s difficult. How do you, how do you communicate those things? Well, and I think for us, I mean, specifically as a couple, I mean, because of our former professions, you know, like I, I don’t think, Oh, I, not that I don’t think I know for a fact, I did not have the skill to even articulate what was going on for me because I think so much of what was going on inside of me, I didn’t know how to talk about, and I was also confused by.

Because I think, and I’ll be curious to hear your perspective on this as well, this was the first time in my life that I ever struggled to achieve something, you know, everything else is fairly logical, fairly linear, I, I would put, you know, X amount of effort in and get X amount of results, and, you know, being the high achievers, super type A people that we are, like this, you Kick me on my ass.

And it really got me incredibly uncertain about what was next. What are your thoughts on that? Well, yeah, I think when you’re confused about what’s taking place physically, it’s hard to communicate that through words. You’re a much better communicator than I am. Um, sometimes I’m accused of oversharing, but, uh, that’s because I think a lot of my Just general disposition is to talk it out loud and, and, and at some point something’s going to make sense.

Uh, but even, even at that, the, the feelings that were manifesting in me and what I felt between us were just, again, completely uncharted territory. So how do you communicate something you’ve never seen, never felt, never, never dealt with? And as a, as a guy, you know, not many men have places to go talk this out with.

a buddy before they can, uh, talk it out with their, their partner. So, you know, I didn’t have a sounding board with my friends to see if something made sense. And so it was just simply left to me echo around in my silly brain about how I’m going to say that I didn’t like a process that we were embarking on or that I didn’t feel that something we were doing was of great benefit.

Uh, sometimes being along for the ride, regardless of the benefit, it was the way I, I felt I could support. So I, you know, smiled and, and had, and honestly had a, had a great time, even, even in the face of craziness, had fun because it was a mindset shift to try and go, you know what, let’s just, if she feels like she needs this.

Perhaps deeps down. She doesn’t believe that this is going to be the, the, the one hug that changes at all, but. Oh, and just so as you’re listening to this and you’re trying to figure out what my husband’s talking about, I’ll just interject. I dragged my husband a few hours away from our, our home to get a hug from a hugging Saint.

I thought maybe that would bless our journey and that would bring Asher in a little faster. And my, my. Husband had to go through. I think what was probably one of the craziest things you had ever experienced standing in line for hours to get a hug from this woman. And I could tell that you were, it was taking you to the brink.

Yeah, hot, sweaty middle of summer. Um, and yeah, I did. I was, I found that to be questionable, but on the other hand, I also wanted to believe in, in some. Uh, aid was out there, something that would defy the numbers that we were provided by quote unquote professionals. So I really felt like. I was, uh, lost, uh, in, in my ability to communicate with, with what I thought would be best.

And I, if I wasn’t lost and I felt pretty certain about it, it didn’t mean that I was confident that I could communicate it to you. What were some of the things, like when you started to see me, which we can laugh about now, but you know, when we were going through it, like when you started seeing me going off the rails.

A little bit, you know, what were some of the things that were, were going through your mind? Yeah, I, I, I saw the, the ends to which you were willing to go to what you were going to put yourself through. That was a measure of self torture and I remember coming home. And you were sitting on the edge of the bathtub turning gray, trying to give yourself a shot with, you know, like the some weird dry sweats thing going on.

I, and I knew right then that you weren’t capable of stopping and that you weren’t capable of telling yourself. This would, this was going to be the last round, uh, or whatever the case was that you were going to drive yourself into a place of, uh, quite honestly, a very unhealthy place to try and, uh, beat this into submission.

Well, and I think, and I, I actually remember that when, when you came home. And I think, and I think what was crazy about that is I was giving myself a shot. You, you must’ve worked the night before or something like that. Cause I was giving myself a shot. The, you know, it was during a trial. So I was trying to get this shot done before I had to get to work.

And it was, it was crazy. And I think that there were times on our journey when we just kind of looked at each other and I, it felt more like survival. It really felt more like we’re just trying to get through this. Did you feel that get through it? Oh man. Yeah, there, there certainly were. Elements of try and suffer through it.

I think at times it was extremely difficult for me to watch you do some of the things you had to do. Um, I don’t like sitting in, um, doctor’s offices. It’s, it’s tough for me. Um, I can do things in the moment, but you sit there and think about that sort of stuff. And there were some procedures and, and shots and, uh, shot after shot and trips here and there, long, quiet drives.

And I think some of that road therapy certainly helped us get through a lot of stuff, but it was, it was difficult. And I think ultimately, if you had thought it, you had not said it, but we were, we had reached an end of our. Journey at that time where what was taking place was not going to get us to where we wanted to be and, uh, we weren’t going to continue down that path.

We were going to change it. Yeah. And I think, you know, what you’re alluding to is, is really shifting our mindset, the way that we were living, shifting the way that we thought about ourselves and the way that we thought about our approach to this, because I think. We kind of hit a wall where suffering, it just couldn’t continue to be our way like we, you know, we were on this journey for so long that I think that both of us probably were terrified at the idea of spending the rest of our lives in that way.

And on the other hand, not doing everything we knew to do in order to get to Asher, I think that we were kind of in a place where we knew we were, we believed for him, we knew, we believed that there was going to be a way, but we couldn’t keep doing what we were doing. Something had to change. And I remember, like, when I started studying and really shifting my mindset, learning how to do that, that, you know, things did start to open up for us, but what do you think the impact on you was in starting to kind of change the way that we thought?

Well, I, I think. We were realizing that that path we were on was going to cost us something much more than failures. It was going to cost, uh, I honestly thought it was going to cost your health, just the way you were leaning into the process. And if it cost your health, could it cost us our relationship?

And if I was thinking like that, then perhaps you were thinking like that and we were thinking the wrong way, period. And so when we started listening and learning to other people and other things and shifting our mindset, it really, it completely changed, I think, everything. It really did. And it was a, it was a matter of a.

As I recall, a reasonably short period of time where we made a very definitive decision to change our mindset and change our lives and everything changed for us. So what were some of, you know, cause I think that, you know, we’ve talked about the physical things that, you know, would stress you out seeing me, you know, doing all the crazy supplements, driving hundreds of miles a week to all these different appointments, getting poked and prodded.

How much were you concerned about, you know, the, the, the money we were investing, the, the time we were investing, like, because I, one of the things that I hear from women all the time is, Oh, my partner’s not going to go for that or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, but from your perspective, I mean, were you really concerned about that kind of stuff?

To a moderate degree, I was more concerned about. The, what not spending would cost us. I was more concerned with if we don’t try this, we’ll always have that question in the back of our mind that we could have done something more. We could have done something else. We could have changed our approach and we didn’t.

And living with that regret is more costly to me than the financials of it were at the time. We weren’t, you know, we were both government employees. Uh, your salary, I can make overtime, which obviously I, I did, uh, to, to help us along with these sorts of things, but we were still living, doing the other things that we wanted when the processes, the processes that we’re embarking on weren’t getting in the way we, we quite honestly stopped living our life to go down this path.

And so it wasn’t, wasn’t necessarily the money, uh, the money we spend. Typically leads us down to, you know, some thing that we can appreciate and look back fondly on anyway, you know, I’ve spent bad money, but Hey, that’s how it goes, but I, I wasn’t, it seemed daunting. It did at the, at the, at the beginning, but when I.

When I think back to my perspective of, well, I’d rather spend the money and exhaust my efforts than have money for a bass boat and sit out on that bass boat and think about, well, had we spent it here, maybe this would have happened. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened, but for me, I’d rather pay money to not live with regret.

I think we both, I mean, that was definitely one of. The most interesting lessons for us because, you know, we came into this journey with like our thought process, uh, you know, our abundance mindset, the way that we think like about everything was so different, you know, we live by statistics and, you know, if somebody in a white coat told us this, then we thought it was over.

Right. And, and I think that was one of the, the biggest changes, I think that we noticed in ourselves, because for so long we were handing authority over to other people. And we didn’t really see ourselves as having the kind of license and agency that we see now. What are your thoughts on that? Yeah, it wasn’t very far into the process where I think we felt a very significant mistake.

And we learned a harsh lesson very, very quickly, and we vowed not to make that mistake again, not just in the, any sort of process we embarked for fertility, but hopefully for the rest of our lives, because I don’t think either one of us had ever had that experience in handing over what we, you know, everything to somebody that we were just ultimately flat out uncomfortable with.

Um, and that was, that was a big mistake. But we didn’t make it again. I don’t think we’ve made it sense. And that was, that was a, that was a big harsh lesson early on for sure. Yeah. And I think it, you know, being in a position where we’re being told, you know, look, this ain’t going to happen for you. This is going to be really hard.

I mean, I think that was a giant wake up call for both of us because I don’t think in either one of our respective careers. We’d ever really been told. No, you know, we were used to being able to find a solution to things and the idea that Oh, well, the numbers say this. So you’re only going to get that.

You know, I think both of us. In, you know, as individuals, but then again, as a couple found herself saying, nah, like, I think we were knocked on our ass for a minute because we weren’t because we had typically been trained, you know, culturally and probably even professionally to subordinate what we believed to, you know, somebody in a white coat.

So I think when and I even talk about this and. In the first book where, you know, we were told that first time, Oh yeah, this ain’t going to happen. You need donor eggs. I mean, I think I remember being catatonic in that moment. Like, Oh my gosh, like there’s no hope for me. And I think that’s really what you’re talking about here is being able to pivot and kind of, you know, learning a really hard lesson really quick that there’s going to be a lot of people around us that don’t believe.

And we have a choice. We’re either going to believe in ourselves or we’re going to allow ourselves to just go down a dark road and allow somebody else’s opinion to distract us from what our dream was, which I think was really shocking because we up to that point had never really been through anything like that.

We were used to to leading. Yeah, you know, it’s not like we don’t believe in numbers. I completely understand that doctors have. A place where numbers make sense, but and I think their numbers would have really made sense. And that would have been our future had we continued living that life. I, I think the numbers are what they are because there are a lot of people in our position that have subordinated their feelings and listen to the numbers.

And, and I was, I was always bothered by. You know, those are other people’s numbers. What, why do they have to be ours? And going through the process that, you know, like you said, donor eggs or whatever the case was, I’m like, what those, those numbers belong to other people. They don’t have to be our story.

And then ultimately, when we started believing that, that those numbers didn’t have to be our story, it, it ultimately, they weren’t our story. They were not. And those numbers work for people. Those numbers, victimize people that. The, the people we were at the beginning, they, they don’t equal out for people that we became.

Right. Oh, I think that’s, that’s such a brilliant way of saying that. I think that’s, that’s really, I mean, that sums it up as we sit here today, you know, what are some of the things that you would want partners to be hearing about? Like, you know, when this first, cause like the, the title of this episode is fertility journey.

What? You know, like. What are some of the things that you would encourage the other half of this couple to be thinking about, you know, as, as they make their way through maybe the initial part of their journey, or, you know, maybe this is the first time they’ve ever stopped to actually think consciously, like what’s going on here?

What’s going on in my relationship? You know, what are some of the things that you would encourage them to think about? I would say looking back for me, you Being a defender of our relationship and defender of my wife. I feel like it was my responsibility to protect her and us from things that were just out of place for us.

And I didn’t have the courage to speak up and defend her. Say no, this, this, this isn’t feeling right for us. Uh, I don’t, I didn’t have the background in doing anything like that. And those were completely new experiences, but. Having the courage to stand up to any professional, uh, of any topic and say, you know, simply, this doesn’t feel right for us.

There’s no obligation to provide any more explanation than that. And then go home and talk about it with a partner and figure out a better game plan and figure out what is, what is truly needed. Because just allowing some of the things to take place that we allowed to take place, I knew deep down, I should have spoken up, I should have had the courage to say something, but.

You know, there’s a few times in my life where I just haven’t had the courage to do the right thing at the right time. And, and, uh, those were, there were certainly, um, one of those at the very beginning. And I think it was a quick swift correction and we certainly had a lot of challenging events after that.

That we ultimately stood up together and said, no, this isn’t going to be right for us. And we move past those. Yeah. And I appreciate that. I mean, what about, like, I think it was an interesting point that you made about standing up because I think as a partner, it can, you can feel sort of gutted because you’re kind of watching, you know, your other half running around like a crazy person, you know, doing all these things.

And sometimes they’re scary, sometimes they’re scary looking, sometimes they’re scary sounding. And, you know, I think, at least what I observed in you, is that, you know, when you initially saw something and you weren’t sure about it, you know, you’d want to stop it and say no, like this isn’t, This isn’t for us as you were talking about, but I think it was also you did a really good job opening up and being open to the ideas that I was presenting you with, like, okay, well, this is why I want to do this or this is why I want to do that.

Like, what are some of the things that you would encourage a partner to like? Ask about, like, what are, what are some of the things you wish you had asked more about or wished you, you knew how to communicate better about? Well, I mean, even recently, my perspective isn’t always the same as yours. You’ve looked at something, you’ve done some research, uh, you’ve heard something, you’ve spoken to somebody, and you might bring something with all of this knowledge in your mind.

Without communicating one drop of it to me and just saying, I want to do this and it doesn’t make any sense to me. Not one bit. Uh, and so my initial reaction is, yeah, you’re, you’re a kook. Uh, you’re crazy. Uh, And then I think your response to that is, well, you know what? I’m going to show you, um, you don’t necessarily have to, you know, quote unquote, show me in some aggressive manner, but, uh, it’s the background that you have that I typically need that usually sways me to a better understanding of, oh, well, yeah, okay.

That makes sense. Now I understand. Ladies, uh, you know, give your men the full background. Don’t you got this inner monologue going and going and going, and then all of a sudden you just blurt out exactly what you want. It makes it difficult on guys and, and, and guys, we, um, are no based. I think we are no driven.

So, uh, there, there’s a background and, uh, there’s a trust and there’s a love. Um, we need to be, uh, searching for the inner monologue, uh, sometimes more than what we get from the, uh, external monologue. Well, and so, I mean, I think what’s interesting about what you’re saying is, is that. You know, don’t be afraid to ask and like and asking questions doesn’t necessarily mean it’s because I can’t imagine like you’re a grown man.

I’m a grown woman. There’s there wasn’t going to be anything, you know, that you’re going to say, no, no, I don’t want you to get help. No, I don’t want you to, you know, I don’t want you to have this baby. I mean, like. I think that the no’s that you were saying initially were fear based, what do you think? Oh man, uh, the no’s probably would have been, I would, I would say that they were no, tell me more.

But I never said the, tell me more part, uh, uh, because I, I don’t, I never tell, you know, outright. No, you’re not going to do it unless it’s anybody has a dumb idea of bringing another dog home. It’s no, and I don’t want to hear more period. But back then, and even today, up through what we’re, what we’re doing now, uh, I, I should, I should really, I, have something just written on the wall.

If I tell you no, it means no. Tell me more. Um, cause I probably just won’t say it. That’s good to know. Well, I appreciate you joining us for this first installment of the Mr. And Mrs. Austin series, babe. Really kind of talking about some of the initial thoughts, like when, when this journey first showed up in our lives and just kind of to round this out, is there any other message that you want to give to a partner that is like maybe just hearing this kind of stuff for the first time, like Maybe this is the first time, uh, their wife or partner says to them, Hey, I want you to listen to this podcast.

This dude is on there talking about what it was like to be on the other side of their, you know, the other half of this journey. Like, is there any like point of encouragement or even like a call to consciousness that you would want to give? Yeah. And I know we’re going to talk about so much more. Uh, so I don’t want to give the whole surprise away or any of them for that matter, but.

Just in general, I, I remember, uh, very vividly a conversation as we were, um, you know, thrashing our heads in agony, driving across the country, uh, how you said that, uh, I wish somebody was out there that had been through all of this that I could talk to or that I could listen to, and this is the opportunity, uh, we’ve had.

We’ve been through a lot and, uh, guys typically don’t have a lot of people to, to sound this off of. So hopefully there’s out there, hopefully we’ll provide you with something that you can hear. Uh, and I know I have a short attention span. I imagine you do too. So, and hopefully there’s something that, that, uh, are easily digestible and helpful.

Awesome. Well, thanks so much for being on babe. Loves, I hope that you and your partner have gotten something out of this conversation that I had with my husband. And, you know, clearly this is not the easiest thing to be talking about. And I really hope that this is An opportunity for you to just take a moment and and think about things from your partner’s perspective, you know, your relationship is is such a dynamic thing and relationships on this journey are challenged because you are two individuals having both an individual as well as a shared experience as a couple.

And unless you have some preexisting condition, you know, most of us are not thinking about this shit. Most of us are thinking about like honeymoons and rainbows and white picket fences at some point, right? We’re not thinking about a long and treacherous fertility journey that. You know, rattles every last insecurity that we have, you know, personal, spiritual, financial, professional, all the crazy shit.

So, in this series, it is our sincere hope to really kind of walk, you know, like a beach entry to a pool. We’re gonna kind of move everyone through this, you know, in a, in a linear way, but also in a gradual way. Because, you know, nobody necessarily wants to jump straight into the gory details. But I think it’s also an opportunity for you to hear from a man’s perspective, you know, really what’s going on.

And, and sometimes, you know, there’s this tough exterior and you can think to yourself, wow, they all, you know, shouldn’t they know this or why are they not X, Y, Z. And I hope that this is bringing some humanity and really some accessibility to what’s going on so that not only can you understand what your partner’s going through, But to also have the opportunity to think about this from a 360 perspective, you know, really look at this in, you know, like fifth dimensional chess in a way, like really seeing the picture, not just from your perspective, your partner’s perspective, but also your perspective as a couple.

And if you know that working on your relationship, working on your couple is, is something that you know, needs attention because look, you don’t have to be in a, you know, in dire straits in your relationship to be looking at it. In fact, smart women are going to get in front of this shit and, and really allow themselves to, to get in front of it and say, look, I love my life.

I love this baby and I love my relationship. I want it all. I want. I want this incredible life that I know in my soul, I was meant to have. And if that’s something that you want, then make a point of joining us for the fearlessly fertile relationship. In this four week intensive, we’re going to go deep into what it takes to really reset your relationship, get past the nagging, get past the worrying that your partner’s going to tap out, get past any worries that you have that like, you know, is this person actually going to be there for me?

Like I feel like I’m doing everything. And all of the crazy crap, the resentments, the frustrations, all of this stuff that can be quietly eating away at your relationship, we are going to, we’re going to take the bull by the horns in the fearlessly fertile relationship. And I’m going to teach you ways to really strengthen this relationship because when you strengthen your relationship.

You are strengthening the foundation of this family. You’re going to learn effective communication, how to be in your feminine more, how to receive from your partner, how to speak to them in a way that’s really going to be persuasive and get them on the same page. So you’re not constantly worrying about whether or not they have your back and really working as a couple.

To, to have great boundaries with friends and family and, and how to stay focused on the love that you share so that you know what, you can have some fricking normalcy as you live this journey. So check out the fearlessly fertile relationship. You will find the link in the show notes here. You’re also going to be able to find it in my link tree on Instagram, and we are blasting out emails to my list all about this.

So take advantage of the opportunity to get fearless. In your relationship, till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP182: The Mr. & Mrs. Austin Series: Fertility Journey…What appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Want to do something super smart and uber punk rock on your journey? Start celebrating your failures. Not only will this shake you out of your journey-fatigue, it’s going to give you a rather gangster new perspective that can revitalize your resolve and make you resilient AF. Don’t believe me? Just listen.

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

Want to do something super smart and uber punk rock on your journey? Start celebrating your failures. Not only will this shake you out of your journey-fatigue, it’s going to give you a rather gangster new perspective that can revitalize your resolve and make you resilient AF. Don’t believe me? Just listen.

The post EP181 Smart Women Celebrate Failure appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 181. Smart women celebrate failure. Hey loves. I am super excited to be here again with you this week. And you know what? I’m going to keep this episode really, really short because what’s more important than the length of this podcast is really the idea that I’m going to be presenting you with today.

And look, it is going to be something that for some of you, you’re just not going to be able to swallow. And that’s okay. That’s okay. You don’t have to swallow it right now. But it is something that you are going to want to revisit if you are serious about this dream and you are serious about doing whatever the hell it takes to get to this baby that you know in your heart is meant for you.

Because here’s the deal. Any path to success is going to be absolutely littered with a junkyard of failure. You know, I’m not sure if it’s social media or, or what, but you know, everybody falls for this bullshit of the overnight success. There’s just no such thing. And when you really look back at anything that really mattered in your life, it took time.

It took some ingenuity and it really took a commitment to your vision. You know, and this is true, whether it was your education, it was your professional training, finding the right partner, really working your way through your career. We really can’t afford to be brittle and thin skinned when we’re truly committed to success.

So that applies even on this journey. Right. It’s really interesting. You know, sometimes, you know, I, I’m, well, not sometimes I, I have the good fortune of, of working with really ambitious women that are making a difference in the world professionals that are out there really making an impact. And it’s interesting to me because.

I know that this journey is not linear, but so many of us are like, so ready to put in the work for our career. We’re so ready to go through school. We do whatever it takes. We study till our eyes are bleeding, you know, right till our fingers are broken. You know, we, we just, we put in all this work. But on this journey, somehow we really start to forget this idea that, look, failure and things working out like perfectly all the time, it’s just not part of the deal, you know, in our professional pursuits, in our educational pursuits, it’s a little more linear, right?

It’s a little bit more foreseeable, but we are so used to doing the work, right? So you have it in you right now to shift your perspective, because one, something that I see all the time is like women getting beaten down after, you know, trying three, four, five times and it’s like, look, how many times did you fail on the way to your success in your career?

Right? Things did not always work out. And yes, this is your baby. I totally fucking get it. The stakes are different. But the analogy still applies. The stick with it ness still applies. And I’m pointing this out to you because, you know, sometimes in these moments of despair, we get like, oh, I don’t know how much more of this I can take, you know, I don’t know.

But it’s like, wait a second. You are a hard fucking worker. You are not just some, you know, scaredy cat that runs off at the smallest challenge, right? Think about where you’ve gotten yourself in your career. Yes, it is a different set of muscles. It is a wildly different skill set mentally to be successful in your career than it is on your journey.

You know, it’s something we have to learn. And which is why I teach women all over the world how to do it, you know, but you have it in you, you have the foundation, you have the raw ingredients. And so when you start working on your mindset for this journey in particular, you know, one of the first things that you can, you can possibly do to really do yourself a solid is start to celebrate your failure.

Why? Not only is it super smart and uber punk rock, but it’s really you giving the finger to fear. It’s you giving the finger to somebody else’s estimation about what is possible for you. It’s you giving the finger to the fricking statistics. You know, because a lot of times, like people just write us off or they just, you know, they don’t take us seriously until they see us in the rain coming back for more, not backing down, you know, and, and that’s actually a really important aspect of success is how you show up, how you respond to failure.

Because when you really start to change your mindset and rewire for success. You start to look at failure differently. You really do start seeing it as getting closer to the success, right? Nobody fails all the fucking time. If you keep swinging the bat, eventually you’re going to hit the ball, you’re gonna hit it out of the park.

And it’s truly about stamina. And the number one thing that will rob you of stamina Is getting so far down about your failure that you’re just not even going to want to try anymore. So a smart cookie is going to start celebrating her failures because she knows she’s getting that much closer to her success.

Now, not only is this about resilience, think about it. Who is wiser? Someone who failed 25 times? Or someone who just failed once. Think about that. And I know you’re like, Roseanne, fuck being wise, I just want my baby. And it’s like, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. All right? Part of your role in being this child’s mother is to be their protector, to be the heart of the family, to show them the way.

Like, you don’t want to be showing your baby some shabby ass shit that you’ve never actually tested. You know, you’re thin skinned, you know, you’re gonna, you’re gonna. By your own actions, show them how to back down. No, you want to, this is your miracle baby. This is your baby that you’ve been pining for that, you know, is going to be amazing and you know, is going to be so special.

You don’t want to show them what it’s like to be weak. You want to show them. Mama is a mama bear and mama is strong as fuck and she’s gonna take care of her baby She’s gonna show her babies that just like mama you too my my sweetheart You can go out there and make your dreams come true Okay, and you know what the crazy thing is is when you’ve actually been in the ring You’re willing to fail you you revel in your failure like fuck Yeah, give me another because you know what I’m in it to win it When you’re willing to do that, you are going to be able to demonstrate to your child what it means to truly be a winner.

You’re not going to be showing them consolation prize, participation prize, bullshit. You know, you’re going to raise somebody who’s going to go out there, make a difference in the world and make their life count. Okay. So you’ve got to ask yourself, Hey, how am I approaching failure right now? What’s the truth about that?

And then turn it all around, mama. By starting to celebrate your failure, what do you love? About your failure, truly, because when you’re able to do that, I promise you, if your brain is on, if your brain is switched on and you’re serious about changing your mindset, you know you gotta change something, you’re gonna take a look at what I have to say here.

If you go and you make a list of your top 20 most embarrassing, ridiculous, heartbreaking failures. Go write them down and ask yourself, what does this tell me about me? Right? Think about that. Write down 20 or 25 because here’s the deal. When you look at those, you are going to start discovering something about you.

You’re gonna be like, wow, I am pretty resourceful after all. Wow, you’re like, I’ve totally shit the bed on X, Y, Z, and you know what? I got back up again. Wow. Okay, you know what? I might actually be rather gangster. Right? And this is going to revitalize your resolve, it’s going to make you resilient as fuck.

So, do yourself a favor right now. Do what I’ve suggested here, you know, and, and if you’re not ready to do it, totally cool. But you know what? If you’re serious about giving yourself the best possible chances to succeed, you really want to get the ball rolling on that, you want to, you want to try to get this baby in before the end of the year just because it’s fun, dude, go do this exercise.

Make a list of 20 to 25 of your most horrific failures. And then ask yourself, what do I love about this failure? What can I celebrate about this failure? What does it tell me? Who did I have to become to overcome this failure? Okay. Like, I mean, dude, there is so much warrior in you that you don’t even know it.

Okay. So. I’m going to love you enough to encourage you and to tell you just straight up smart women celebrate failure. Not only because it’s signaling to you that you’re getting closer to your success, but it’s going to show you a hell of a different history than your self sabotage pattern will want you to see because your self sabotage pattern, your saboteurs are going to tell you, look, you failed X number of times.

You’re worthless. Uh, uh, uh, uh, that’s fake news. When you really look at this and you think critically and you go down that list and say, what does this tell me about me? From an intelligent, not self pitying perspective, if you’re really look at this, what are the characteristics that you notice about yourself to get on the other side of that fucking failure?

It just may impress your ass. And it may put some, some wind under your wings. To get back in the saddle, to really look from here on out completely differently at failure. Instead of seeing it as final, you will see it as a motherfucking celebration. Cause you’re that much closer to this baby. Can’t say mama doesn’t love you.

And, if just listening to this is getting you fired up and you’re like, You know what? I want to see what all these women are talking about. I want to get some of that goodness. That all these amazing women are sharing with me on this podcast, YouTube videos, and I see all this good shit on Instagram, all the p sticks.

51 women! Loves, at the time of this recording, we’ve got 51 Miracle Mamas this year. And you know what? If you want to learn what I have taught each and every one of them, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. Look, mama, if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit, set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP181 Smart Women Celebrate Failure appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

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