Fearlessly Fertile Podcast

One of the things we agonize about on this journey is “wasting” time and energy. What’s crazy is there is a common mistake we make DAILY that is the real cause of such waste—but we might not even realize we are doing it. Learn what this waste of time is AND the clutch move that will yank you out of its clutches. Every. Single. Time.

No matter how goal oriented and well intentioned we are, EVERYONE engages in self sabotage of one form or another. Sometimes it is blatant, but more often than not, it is super sneaky and subtle. It may not look like a big deal at first, but cumulatively it can create a huge gap between where you are today on your journey…and where you actually want to be. Learn how to spot the sabotage AND stop it

No matter how goal oriented and well intentioned we are, EVERYONE engages in self sabotage of one form or another. Sometimes it is blatant, but more often than not, it is super sneaky and subtle. It may not look like a big deal at first, but cumulatively it can create a huge gap between where you are today on your journey…and where you actually want to be. Learn how to spot the sabotage AND stop it!

Transcript:

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 66.

Self sabotage. Spot it. Stop it. Hey loves. Between our series on faith and the interview we did with Miracle Mama Myrna, I hope you are flying high with excitement and possibility for your journey. If you haven’t heard me say this recently, let’s be clear about one thing. The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

Gus put it there. Not sure about that? Be sure to listen to episodes 62, 63, and 64, our series on faith. They will tune you right up. This week, I want to get super practical with you. Because while all of this inspiring shit is amazing, I know there’s a part of you that is wondering, but Roseanne, how the fuck do I get there?

The answer to that question has a lot of layers and moving parts that are different for everyone. There is no one size fits all, bite size candy bar solution. Every one of us has to roll up our sleeves and do the work. Just think about all the women you’ve heard on this podcast. Not a single one of them was lying around on her couch waiting for someone to clean up the mess in her mind for her.

She took responsibility, got her ass lovingly kicked by me, and she created new, more amazing results. This is why my Fearlessly Fertile method program is structured the way it is, and it has staying power because we take a multi pronged approach. This isn’t just feel good bullshit. It’s about creating foundational structures that you will use for a lifetime.

It is about supporting your success on this journey, indeed, and it’s going to impact your entire life as a mom. I teach tried and true principles backed by evidence and coach you through them so that they can be tailored to your unique set of circumstances. Learning how to apply these lessons in your life is key, my darling.

One critical, game changing skill every woman who intends to succeed on this journey must develop is the ability to spot her own self sabotage. Everyone engages in self sabotage of some kind or other. Everyone. Why the fuck do you think top performers in just about every industry has a coach? Steve Jobs had a coach.

Oprah has coaches. Anyone with any aspiration for success has a fucking coach. Why? Because they aren’t willing to roll the dice with their dreams. They understand they are their own worst enemy. And their coach is part of their insurance policy against that self sabotage. What’s hilarious is the people who don’t think they need a coach are usually the ones who need it the most.

But as any smart coach will tell you, the best coaches, we go where we are wanted, not where we are needed. So if you’re listening to this podcast, I’m going to make the assumption that you want some coaching. And while I might not be your coach yet, I’m going to give you a little gift. It comes in the form of a game I call Spot the Sabotage.

It is as simple as its name. Spot the way you sabotage yourself. Chances are you do it many times a day, every day. Remember, we all do it. Self sabotage doesn’t have to come in some epic, glaring, dramatic package. Sometimes it is super subtle and nuanced. If you’ve read my book, you know that our internal saboteurs can be sneaky as fuck.

Self sabotage can come in many flavors. Here are some examples. Going to bed too late. You know, you need rest. Strong mindset requires energy, but instead of getting your 40 winks, you spend an extra half an hour torturing yourself with your illicit lover, Dr. Google, who only takes and rarely has shit to give.

Mindset is excruciatingly difficult to maintain when you are tired. So yes, going to bed too late is a form of self sabotage. So is saying no when you meant to say hell yes. Do you find yourself just saying no to stay in your comfort zone when your heart is screaming fucking hell yes? I bet you can think of tons of examples.

of that classic saboteur move in your life. Saying no when you really wanted to say hell yes. How about blaming other people for your circumstances? Love, this one is a pain in the ass because sometimes we do it and we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Blaming other people for your circumstances is self sabotage because it denies you the opportunity to look at your own role in the matter and take loving responsibility for it.

Here’s another thing, letting fear, what ifs and lack and scarcity thinking run your life. That is a massive form of self sabotage that I see women day in and day out engaging it. And it is heartbreaking because it is based in fucking lies and just fucked up thinking that is not going to set you up for success.

There are a few things that will torpedo your dreams faster than fear, lack, scarcity, what ifs. And all of that nonsense. It is toxic. Another way people self sabotage is making boring excuses that are laden with bullshit. Uh, that’s too expensive. The answer that I have in my mind to that every single time I hear that shit is, what is it costing you to not do the thing?

If you’re trying to convince yourself that organic food or getting coaching is too expensive, you gotta ask yourself, what is it costing you to not do any of these things that you know you wanna do? Or people also tell themselves, I don’t have time, this is too hard, other people are just lucky, things are just hard for me, my partner won’t let me.

Oh my god. You’ll hear me say this a thousand times, but it’s one of the saddest, most embarrassing ways that women sabotage themselves. It is horrific. I have said it before and I will say it again. As an adult fucking woman with a brain, no one lets you do shit. It is 2020. Your partner is your partner, not your parent.

Quit making that excuse and quit sabotaging yourself with that crap. The other thing is people say ridiculous things to sabotage themselves like, if it was going to happen, it would have happened by now. Really Nostradamus? Thinking that things happen necessarily in a logical and linear fashion on this journey will also torpedo your dreams and will take you out of the game and necessarily put you in a position where you are missing opportunities left and right.

Don’t do that to yourself. Quit sabotaging yourself with that nonsense. The other thing is procrastination. Are you putting shit off that you know you’ve got to do? Are you accepting treatment from other people that sucks massive ass? That counts as self sabotage as well. Because then you find yourself isolated or being beat up by people that are supposed to love you.

Okay? And then you’re not going to do the things that you need to do. Because you’re, you’re buying a line of bullshit that just doesn’t work. You might also find yourself failing to speak your mind and stand up for your truth. Maybe you are endlessly beating yourself up and not giving yourself the forgiveness and respect that you know you deserve.

That’s a huge form of self sabotage, because you’re thinking to yourself, well, why try anyway? Another thing that women do to self sabotage is they tell themselves, I’m already doing everything. Really? Everything? Chances are the whole truth is that you’re holding back on the one thing and from doing the one thing that scares the shit out of you.

So be careful about that. Chances are you aren’t doing everything. Look around. There’s probably something you’re longing to do that you’re just not doing. Just keep it in mind. The other thing is hiding what’s really going on for you from your partner or failing to ask them for the support you desire.

That’s another way that we sabotage ourselves unnecessarily. I bet that if your partner really understood where you were coming from and really what mattered to you. They might have a very different opinion, and you might have just made a whole bunch of shit up that isn’t true about your partner. Give them a shot, give them a chance.

You might also, and this is huge for my lovably type A control freaky ladies, Another way that you might be sabotaging yourself is telling yourself you have to do this all by yourself. Look, I get it. Y’all dominate in your profession and every other aspect of your life. This journey is totally fucking different though.

It is not the same as landing your ass in a C level position or in the executive offices. Succeeding on this journey when you face real challenges is an entirely different skill set, and you gotta learn it. Love, I know there are a myriad other examples of the way we self sabotage on this journey. These examples should give you a good idea of how self sabotage might be at work in your life.

You might be thinking, yeah, that’s me. Yeah, that’s me. And, you know, and that’s awesome because here’s what’s awesome about noticing your self sabotage. Is you get to do something about it. What’s awesome about noticing how you shit all over your dreams with self sabotage is you give yourself a chance to do something about it.

Awareness empowers action. Awareness empowers action. That’s a key piece of the puzzle that separates those who succeed in life and those who don’t. And this certainly isn’t the first time what I’m about to say has been said, and I am certainly not the only person saying it. People who succeed acknowledge they don’t like their circumstances, and they fucking do something about it.

They quit attending their own pity parties, get up, brush their teeth, get dressed, and get on about the business of living a life of fulfillment. Not regret. My darling woman, love yourself and your dream of being a mom enough to do the same, precious one. Do the same. Commit to living a life of fulfillment on this journey, not regret.

And I know, it was a little tough love for you this week, my darling, and here’s the deal. Anyone who really gives a shit about you doing better for yourself is not going to candy coat this shit. They’re going to love you enough to ruffle some feathers. And they aren’t going to hold anything back. So here’s an exercise to take our discussion to the next level.

One, take a good, long look at your day so far. We’re just working with one day. How did you sabotage today? Remember, this isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about something far more intelligent than that. Awareness. When you are aware of what you are doing and not sleepwalking through your life, just repeating the same old bullshit patterns, you become aware.

Identify exactly how you sabotage yourself, your success or your goals today. Keep in mind, as I explained earlier, self sabotage can be a series of seemingly innocent, inconsequential choices whose cumulative effect is disastrous. spot it so you can stop it. Next, ask yourself, what are you going to do about this?

Now that you have the awareness, you have to decide what you are going to do about it. The decision is simple. Do nothing or do something. When you’re sabotaging yourself, just about any momentum forward in the direction of your success is a win. What are you going to do about this? Awareness without action is what your saboteurs live for.

That negative voice in your head loves it when you are aware that you need to make a change but don’t do shit. All it means for your saboteurs is they get to run your life and while you go back to sleep. When you spot the sabotage you end its stronghold with bold, positive, Action. Third, my darling woman, text the link to this podcast episode to someone you think could benefit from it.

Screenshot this episode and put it in your Facebook or Insta story. Tagging me spotting yourself. Sabotage is some courageous shit. Love. When you have awareness, you put yourself in the position to make better choices that will actually support your success. And as I explain, once you spot the sabotage, you’ve got to have the mindset, tools, and strategies to do something life changing about it.

Women who succeed on this journey refuse to let self sabotage stand between them and their babies. Fuck that. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes. To covering their bases, mind and body. So they don’t have to look back on this time in their lives with soul searing regrets.

I work with women who are committed to success to apply for your interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for time with me there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. And sister, I got a gang of women scheduled to come on this podcast that are just gonna blow your mind.

So if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, love, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of The Fearlessly Fertile Podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP66 Self Sabotage: Spot It. STOP It appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

One of the biggest challenges my lovably Type A, professional women face is finding balance between pursuing their dreams of having BOTH a kick-ass, meaningful career AND a family. Mirna, an accomplished musician, who had played on stages across the globe realized she was ready to be a Mom, she was immediately  hit with naysayers and scary statistics. Learn how with 1 embryo, at 45, she made her dreams a reality.

One of the biggest challenges my lovably Type A, professional women face is finding balance between pursuing their dreams of having BOTH a kick-ass, meaningful career AND a family. Mirna, an accomplished musician, who had played on stages across the globe realized she was ready to be a Mom, she was immediately  hit with naysayers and scary statistics. Learn how with 1 embryo, at 45, she made her dreams a reality.

Transcript:

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this.

Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast episode 65. She discovered 45 was a big time to be a mom. Welcome back, my loves. I’m so delighted to be with you this week, and I’m super excited to be sharing an incredibly inspiring story with truly one of the most extraordinary women I have ever had the good fortune of meeting.

And I know you hear me say that all the time, but it’s because it’s true. I really get to work with some of the coolest women in the world because So many of these women that come to me, I just fall in love with because one, they understand the power of hell. Yes. And, and they do things that are scared shitless and they do them anyway, because even though they’re scared, even though they’ve been beat up from this journey, they are willing to take massive leaps in the name of their dreams.

They understand that they’ve got to have their mindset on board because their mindset was critical in just about every success. And they’re not willing to allow their journey to be tainted by their saboteurs, limiting beliefs or other bullshit that threatens to get in their way. And the other thing that makes these women so incredibly cool and, and really what sets them up for massive success is their willingness to learn.

I mean, I regularly coach women at the top of their professional game, women that are really having an impact in their work, whether they’re physicians, lawyers, nurses, teachers, aviators. You name it. These are women who have passion and purpose in what they do every single day. But when it comes to their fertility journey, they recognize, Hey, there’s something I got to learn here.

I am getting in my way and I am not available to keep doing that. So it is this commitment to hell. Yes. It’s belief in their dream, even though they can’t necessarily see how they’re going to get there. And also this openness to learn this willingness to say, Hey, I want to get to the next level. I want to really give this my best to cover my bases, mind and body.

That’s really what sets these women apart. And in the interview that I’m doing with Myrna, who, as you will learn, is an accomplished musician who has played on international stages. She got to live her professional dream and she was well into her 40s when she started to really focus on making her dream of being a mom come true.

She’s someone that was willing to take a stand for having both a meaningful career and the family of her dreams. So if you’re listening today, you know, at whatever stage you are in your journey, and you’re doubting whether or not you can have it all, listen up sister, because Myrna is going to have a powerful message that can literally help change the trajectory of your journey.

So I hope you enjoy. My interview with the amazing Myrna. Alright my loves, I just can barely stand how excited I am right now to be bringing today’s guest on. I, it’s just been a thrill. And you hear me speak about how I get to work with some of the most amazing women in the world. Women, Really going for their dreams.

Women really making an impact on the world in so many ways, professionally, creatively in business and in life. And I just felt it on my heart that it would be such a gift to all of you for you to meet. Myrna, you know, not only is, is Myrna an accomplished musician in Brazil, she’s just got the biggest heart in the world.

And from the moment that we first spoke, I, I just knew that we had a connection and that I was going to be truly blessed. with the opportunity of working with someone that I just resonated with at a soul level. And so, I am delighted to have you on the podcast, Murda. Hi Razdan. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me for this podcast.

I’m really happy. I really, it just brings me happiness to hear your voice, really. Oh, that’s great. That’s great. And, you know, I’m just delighted that, you know, at the generosity that you’re showing by sharing your story because your fertility journey was truly, it just is, is miracle after miracle after miracle.

And so, So why don’t you start off by telling us a little bit about how you got on this journey, how it all started for you. Okay, I have to tell you that for the first 20 years of my life, my, like, Already adult life. I was the person that that was already always saying no I don’t want to have children.

This is not for me. The world is a is a An ugly place to bring up a kid nowadays. Look at this happening. Look at this other thing happening. So I Missed the opportunity to Have a child when I was young my all my colleagues all my friends were becoming moms and they were happy. They were having a child and a second, some had the third child.

And I was just like, no, this is not for me. This was the beginning. I got married and it’s been already like 13 years that I’m married. And the beginning, we wanted a child, like every young couple just married. So we said, okay, let’s do that. And then. As it didn’t happen the first year, we decided to take a break and we had our own projects.

I had my projects, my husband had his own projects, and the time passed by. And all of a sudden, I was seeing myself well into my 40s. Looking around and thinking, okay, what now? You know, you, you reach this moment in your life that, that you see you, you fought for career. You, you traveled the world. I did course on dad and then another course on dad.

I followed everything, every wish I had. I could just take my suitcase and travel wherever I want. And all of a sudden I discovered I found out that I was just constantly looking for something. I was never happy. I was never, uh, satisfied. I never thought that I, I’ve reached something that I, I really wanted because as soon as I, I was achieving that success, it meant nothing to me.

So I, All of a sudden I, I, I found out that really was something really major missing in my life. I was creating some kind of, I was just seeing my friends already with their kids well, well, like raised already going to school. And I was thinking, my God, this could have been me. Look at this. I have friends that have had children already, like so young.

And all of a sudden I started thinking about it and I said, Oh my God, this is it. This is what I’m missing really, because maybe it will sound old fashioned, but we men, we are here also to procreate, to create the next generation, to maintain and create life. And I think that if we run away constantly from this.

This purpose, uh, of our lives, we will be unhappy. I’m speaking of, of course, of, of my personal experience now that I am a mother proudly and I have a baby. I can tell you that it made a huge difference and I realized that I wasn’t happy because I was trying to run away from my purpose in life. I was trying to run away hiding.

Behind projects and behind career and behind, you know, this and that. I’m not saying that this is not important, but it has to go hand in hand with the main purpose, the main dream. And I discovered that really my dream that I was pressing because I was feeling uncertain, unsure, unsecure. My, really my dream was To be a mom.

Once I discovered that, once I, I realized that, and then I went into desperation. Well, before we get to the desperation, and you know, I just, I just want to take a moment to really acknowledge you because you are speaking a truth. It’s so many women are afraid to speak. Because, I mean, your words about, you know, you have all of this, you know, global, you know, travel.

You have so much success in your profession, in what you do. You know that you’re one of the best in the world and, and, you know, you’re traveling and you’re doing all this, but you felt that emptiness and you finally had the courage to admit, wait a second. You know, all of this external success is wonderful.

It’s true. But I feel nothing because there’s something else in my heart. That’s really brave to admit. Yes, it’s true. It’s true. It was a major shift when, when I realized that it was really major shift in, in everything. I just saw my life from a perspective that I’ve never seen before. Wow. Wow. Okay. So, so you started to mention the desperation.

So, so let’s put this into some context. How old were you when you figured out that you needed to really bring this dream of being a mom to fruition? Yes, that was, let’s say I was 42 turning 43. Okay. That was when it all started. And of course I, I went to the, the normal, the normal path. I first spoke with my, with my doctor, my gynecologist.

It was the first idea that I had to speak with him. So I, I went to the office and I said, all of a sudden, after all these years, okay, I want to become a mom and he looked at me and he said, hmm, have you seen the statistics for your age? This was the first thing that he said to me and I said, okay, not really because I wasn’t really into this idea until just recently and he turned, I will never forget, he turned the computer screen.

He typed something, he found a page that he wanted, he turned the computer screen next to, uh, uh, towards me and, and said, look, this is where you are now. And you see your chances for success for natural, uh, getting, naturally getting pregnant is almost minimum, almost zero. Uh, maybe you have to turn to a specialist, to a specialist that will talk with you because I can not really help you.

I’m just a gynecologist and this is all I can do for you. I can, I can give you some numbers, some names and you go from there. So basically, basically we never consider because of the time, uh, the time pressure, we never considered actually trying naturally at this age. My husband is also a similar age.

He’s like a couple of years younger than me. But, uh, we never considered trying because they say, okay, you try for a year and if you don’t have a success, then you, you probably, uh, try, uh, and find some specialist that will work with you. So I, I started already looking into treatments because of age, ’cause of age, because even if I had everything in place, my reproductive system working, no one was actually going to give me the time.

I was in a rush. Wow. Yes. Wow. Did that frighten you when you first heard this from the doctor? Not only frightened me, I cried. I cried so much. I will never forget really this day when I left the office, I, I went to the car and I just, I just cried and cried my eyes out, really. It was, it was a memorable day, but what did, what this did to me was I said, Okay.

Because I’m, I’m used to, to fight all my life for the things I want. I said, okay, so actually this motivated me and I said, okay, I will do my best. I will do my best and I won’t give up. And I will try, I will give everything just to see how far I can go, how, how, how much I can do, how much is in my power to achieve my dream.

So after this. Maybe half an hour, one hour crying in the car. I decided to, to look for a doctor and I started my treatment as soon as possible. In the beginning, I had two treatments like IVF, directly IVF, uh, stimulation with, uh, injections with all the hormones. We had a good result for the first time. We had many eggs, but None of them went to the stage of blastocyst after the fifth day So it could have been biopsed and and seen if if this is a viable viable embryo So I had two fails two failed treatments one after the other which of course Uh, brought me a lot of sorrow because when I, when I received the phone calls the first time and the second time as well, saying there is not one good embryo, they all died.

Your eggs are not a good quality anymore because of your age. There is nothing we can do. You should consider a donation, egg donation from a younger woman. And as much as this is an. This is an incredible option for women that have really problems to have, for some reason, their own eggs. This is an incredible option.

I somehow, I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept it. And I said, no, I will, I will have to do something. I want to have my, my blood, my DNA. And this is when I found this other doctor. So this is when all started after the two failed treatments, I left the clinic that I was attending and I went to this other doctor and he was the one that really believed in me.

He and you, but at this point I haven’t met you yet. So this was all the negative talking, the negative self talk. I was like saying, no, you cannot do it. You see, you’re stupid. You see, and it’s already, we’re speaking about two years past. So I was already 45, you know? And, and then I said, okay, this is the last time I will do this.

As much as this doctor believes me, I will put all my trust in him and I will do this treatment once more. with all the injections. It’s, it’s, it’s devastating. It’s, it’s, it’s so, it’s so tiring. You know, the, the meds, the, the injections, everything, hope, and then you’re shredded hopes and then starting again.

And then the second time was also a fail. So I said, okay, I do this again. And actually we had a success. We had one, one embryo. That was fertilized, that went on to be tested, and it was a good one. It was a good embryo, but I only had this one. And so this is when I met you, Rosanne. I remember! I remember you telling me, I have one embryo.

One! That’s it! One! One! And at the age of a 45. That’s all I had. And so we started, I will never forget our trial session. I, for our trial, trial conversation, I, I said, I should go away. I’m so nervous. Let’s see. And I went in our building. We have a kid’s playroom indoors. And I went and I. This small little chair, their kids chair.

And I had probably, you don’t know, I never told you, but I had our trial conversation in that chair. Now, you know what? My baby boy plays in this room. Oh my gosh! Isn’t this amazing? I know, I know, I mean, I didn’t know that. I just, I never told you, it’s true, yes. Oh my gosh, I just remember, like, when we first spoke, and, and you, I remember you telling me, Roseanne, I mean, you were essentially telling me this is my shot.

I really want to bring all of this. I cannot afford to be thinking negatively. I cannot afford to, to, you know, to not have my mind in order. And I also remember thinking, let’s do this. Let’s do this. the hell Yes. Moment. Yes, exactly. I’m like, she’s 45. She’s got one embryo. This is her only shot. Hell yes,

Hell yes. Think about that. Think about that. Myrna. Think about what we’re saying here because you are demonstrating to these women that are gonna be listening to this all over the world. That, hey, you can’t afford to not be in a place of hell yes, if this is your shot and if you are committed to making something work, you cannot afford to mess around with hell maybe.

Oh, no, not a chance, not a chance. I knew then, I knew then that I, I really needed something because I, I was, I’m a very disciplined person, always have been. So I was following the protocols. To the, to the minimum, but I knew that what was missing was my mindset. I knew because of the two failures that I was coming from, because of the statistics and the time passing, I knew that I needed something extra, something more, something to really make sure that my mind will be on track with the body because the body was doing everything.

And I needed my mind to, to, to follow. Wow. So tell these women, I mean, what was it like for you to be willing to work on your mind? Because first of all, like, I mean, you’re clearly a disciplined person to be, you know, at the level that you’re at in your work and, and to be the kind of person, as you said, who is used to fighting all of her life for what she wants.

This mindset thing may sound like, like nonsense or like voodoo. So, so what was, like, what did you start noticing about yourself? First of all, let’s not forget that I was coming already for months and months with hormone treatment. So this was already messing up with my mood. Even, even if, if I’m in a normal state, I was going to be.

in a different mood, but already the hormones were working. So I was really not in a great place when I, when I met you. I was Say, okay, I was doubting myself. I was doubting the, the, the chance. I was saying, I was really saying like, no, this, I’m sure this is going to be a failure again. It’s not possible.

Just one and, and what, what’s next? If I, if I lose that, what, what’s going to happen if I do it? So I was really not in a good place. I was, I was not in a good place. I, I remember we talking about even external things from my daily life that were like small things that were throwing me off, off the center.

And so I really, I really realized that I have to give my best and the changes that I felt even after our first weeks. It was really like what gave me hope that this time will be different because my mind was already thinking, was already working in a different way. And it was extremely helpful our, our weekly sessions.

I was living for that hour, you know, meeting at the same time, same day, same house, same time. And we were, we were building, slowly building up. So the first time, then the second time, and we were slowly building out. And I was slowly finding the best position. And we were working towards already when I had the date.

We started before even scheduling the day for the, for the transfer, for the frozen embryo transfer. So we were slowly going to this date. And as it was already approaching, I felt, I felt ready. I felt ready. The fear was gone. The uncertainty was gone. And I was really at the best place. I was really at my, my best.

It’s my best place when, when the dates, uh, arrive for the frozen embryo transfer, which was really, it’s going to be two years tomorrow. Wow. May 9th. Yeah. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. It’s true. Oh my God. I mean, just hearing you say that again, you know, like I could feel the tension in my chest.

I’m like, oh my gosh, she only has one embryo. She’s. This has gotta work and you know, because so many of us like how, I mean, that’s one of the things that I love that we’re talking about this because that’s one of the things we as women torture ourselves about is the numbers. You know, I have 50 eggs because if I have 50 eggs, then, you know, I, you know, my chances are so much better, but you’re actually going to, you know, be demonstrating how you only need one.

You only need one. Absolutely. Oh my God. So tell us about that. Okay. So you got us to this point. I mean, I’m like, I goosebumps talking about this is like, so you get to this point where You’re right up on the transfer and you’re about to have your transfer and you feel this, you know, You feel yourself showing up differently that the fear and the uncertainty you’re just in a different place So, you know take us through that next part because you know the two week wait that you have and all Tell us all about that.

Oh, yeah A big challenge for me, uh, with, uh, which you helped me was of course, the internet, researching, Googling, YouTube. You remember the YouTube videos of, of other women that had, uh, successful or unsuccessful transfers. I was, I was watching it all until one day I really stopped with that because it was, uh, it was really too much.

It was, it was putting me off focus. So I, if there is one thing I can. I can really recommend is to diminish the chatter of internet. It’s your story. It’s never going to be, it’s not this girl’s story. It’s not that woman’s story. It’s your story and it’s going to be different. And you have to believe that and, and just not go into, not go there, not go into Dr.

Google or, or YouTube because it’s really, it’s you, it’s you. This is only showing off your focus. I already knew all about the two week wait. And when we did the transfer, I was You did amazing preparation. We had a talk the night before. I will never forget that. We had our session the night before. And then you told me, Take something.

Take something that is already representing your baby. We never talked about the embryo. We already talked about Your baby, we, we already knew because of testing, we knew that it’s a boy and it’s going to be a boy. And this was also my dream that I, I am a mother of a boy. And so we were, this, this is also what helped.

We, we were already addressing, uh, not as embryo, but as baby, as, as a boy, this boy, my son. And when I was saying those things, I was like shivering back then. But you said take something that represents a onesie or something else. And, and I did, I bought a pacifier the morning of the transfer and I wore it on my, on my neck for the whole two weeks.

I slept with it. I took a shower with it. I was on the transfer. We did this pacifier. My baby never took on pacifiers, but this pacifier is still here on my drawer to remind me of the miracle that happened. So the transfer went perfectly, uh, well, and then, uh, I was home. And then of course I decided not to test at home.

I decided to wait for the blood tests at the, at the, uh, uh, at the clinic. So I was, uh, already on the, on that year, Mother’s Day was on the 13th. And I did a beneficial walk a few days after the transfer, remember, for kids with cancer. Yes, I decided to walk this walk for, for the, for the beneficial walk on Mother’s Day.

And then I will never forget, I took a taxi afterwards to go home because the place of the walk was far from my home. And the taxi driver said, Okay, so today is Mother’s Day. Are you a mom? And I, I said, Yes, I am. I am a mother. This is already in the beginning of the two week wait. I was so sure with this answer.

And so he gave me a candy. Probably he was giving a candy to all women that took a ride with him that day. But I was Yes, I am a mother. Yes. This was magical. This was magical. And of course, a few days later, I took the test and it was positive and I cannot describe, I cannot describe. I’m still, oh my gosh, it’s so emotional to remember this day.

Uh, it was such a happiness. It was sheer happiness. It was just happiness. And then I called you and I told you, we were screaming, both of us, on the phone. Yes! Yes! Oh my gosh, I remember that. And I’m like, all of this around Brazilian Mother’s Day, like, how is this even possible? Like, Karina, this, I mean, I mean, I have tears in my eyes as I listen to you.

Yes. Yes. Amazing. I just remember all of the, it just was. You, I mean, the part of the reason why your story is so compelling is you had so many things working against you. You had so much telling you no, but you had the guts to follow your heart and say yes, because You know, I mean, you and I were very similar in that way in that, like, I didn’t know all my life I wanted to be a mom.

It wasn’t until, you know, I met my husband and, and, and I was like, okay, you know, for us, each of us, it’s a little different, but, you know, you’re really demonstrating, hey, it doesn’t matter when you come to this dream. It’s your dream. It doesn’t matter if you discover it when you’re 28 or 48, it doesn’t matter.

The dream is yours and it’s yours for the taking because. At 45, you know, the statistics are frightening and you know, if, if you let them be, but you found a, a doctor that believed in you, you came out with one embryo day five perfectly fine. So, you know you still had good eggs in you at 45. Yes. Found one right

And you had the guts to believe. And you know, this is why I mean, you, you demonstrate also. You, I mean, you took the teaching and you took it to the next level because you’re wearing a pacifier that whole time around your neck, even in the shower. People ask you if you’re a mom and you said, yes, I mean, I mean, look at that.

I mean, that, what a dramatic change. Yes, absolutely. I can tell you that now, as in the beginning of our conversation, I said, now I am complete. This is no, no empty words. I’m not just saying. To make it sound beautiful, you know motherhood is hard. We are now also in in quarantine And I cannot be happier to be with my baby to be with my with my son To be having all this time with him to have him in my life and to really feel complete to really feel accomplished Finally, I feel accomplished as a person as a woman As a human being, really.

It’s so exciting. I’m only looking forward to every day with him just to live my life. I’m not searching anymore. I’m not running anymore. I’m not looking for the next thing that will take my attention anymore. I am. Right here, right now, is where I want to be. Wow! I mean, that just blows my mind. And, and it’s such a powerful statement to make about the peace that comes from allowing yourself to live your dream.

Because, ultimately, if we really take it down to, to the, the basics, that’s what your story is about. Is being willing To be that woman who is the last one on the dance floor who is willing to stick it out and, and, and willing to live her dream and, and to say hell yes and to keep saying it until her dream is here because I’ve seen your baby boy, I’ve seen pictures of him, I know how beautiful he is, I mean, he is a miracle and, he’s a miracle.

It just blows me away. So, you know, from the wisdom of a woman, because, and, and this is why, I mean, I love all of my ladies with all of my heart, because you’re one of a tiny percentage of women who are really willing to go outside of their comfort zone. And really go for it and you deserve all of the praise and all of the accolades for that because you’re the one that did it, you know, yes, I coached you, but that doesn’t mean anything.

If you are not the woman who follows through and you followed through. So what’s some of the wisdom you would share with all of these women who are listening, who might be doubting themselves, who might be worried they’re too old or, or worried that, you know, the cards are stacked against them, what would you tell them?

I will tell them. So I gave birth already with 46 and this is really, even nowadays considered a very rare, although we see many, many stars or famous people, they, they also choose to have kids late in life because of circumstances, but I consider myself ready now to be a mom. I, somehow I started, I. Stop looking at, at the numbers at the age.

I, I had a time in my life that I was of course, hiding my age, even lying about my age, . Uh, but, but all of a sudden that, that also changed. I was, uh, I’m now proud of my age. I’m proud of, I achieved even being. Well, in my forties and just the mindset, it’s just the way that you look at it. And, and that’s, that’s the main reason, like I, I stopped having so many concerns about the number.

About the numbers and, and about what everyone is saying and about statistics, because statistics are, are there, but, uh, they don’t include you. They include other people. They were, they were, they didn’t ask you. They didn’t include my story in the statistics. Clearly they didn’t. Yeah. No. And really listen to your heart.

That’s number one. Listen to your heart and try to, Just ignore everything else. You just look forward. You just focus on your dream because this is what is the most important thing. It’s not about what others say or what others think. It’s, it’s just you and your dream and you walk this path, just thinking about it, already visualizing it, visualizing you holding your baby, you rocking your baby to sleep.

Not the numbers, not the statistics. It’s, it’s you, it’s, it’s your story. You’re writing your story. You are the main character there and don’t compare yourself with what others did or what, what others, where others failed. Just focus on yourself, your story and your dream. Just visualize it and you will succeed.

And I will never forget what you, you always told me, like, yeah, 45, 46, spring chicken.

I always had this in my mind now. Yeah, well, people, people don’t believe me, but I’m like, why not? You have a choice. You know, you can meet some people at 45, 46 and think that they’re 70. Exactly. You have a choice. You have a choice about how you, how you live this. So, tell us really quickly, like, has the change in you had any impact on how you mother your son?

Are you going to be able to teach him something different? Oh, for sure. For sure. This, this made a huge impact. This, this whole story made a huge impact on my, my whole being and I consider this as my biggest achievement. And of course I have now the wisdom to be a very, I’m, I’m actually surprising myself with the mother I’m, I’m being.

I always thought that I’m going to be this mother, like not much fun and always like about rules and this and that, because this is who I was in my. life up until now. And I see that I’m just this just fun mom. I’m this cool mom. And I’m just taking everything, everything, not only that, but I’m just taking everything lightly now.

Now it changed my whole personality. Really? I’m, I’m taking everything like, okay, Yes. Let’s see what, what life has for us. No stress, not really stressing out with, with, uh, with, I have to do this and then life is bad and no, it’s, it’s just everything became very, very simple. All of a sudden it’s all about simplicity and I am, I’m looking forward for the times where I can really.

Talk with my son and teach him all about this. And for sure, one of the things to follow his dreams and to always believe in himself will be one of, one of the things I will, I will for sure teach him. Yes. Yes. I mean, because I think women like us or, or, you know, any woman who is on this journey and gives herself permission to really go for her dreams, you know, when we are blessed with the miracles that we receive.

We have a different level of responsibility. It’s like we’ve been given this incredible, yeah, miracle. And we have to be good stewards of it. We have to really nurture these, these Children at an even, you know, we, we had to become different so that we could create a different result. And it’s, it’s almost like it’s a responsibility to pass on this wisdom to them.

Absolutely. Wow. Oh my gosh, Serena, you know, it’s just been such a pleasure to have you on and to hear, I mean, there’s no way that anyone listening cannot hear your joy because it is coming through so strongly in your voice, in your energy and that contentment and that knowledge in your heart that you went for it.

You. You know, you’re going to, to live the rest of your life knowing that and having the peace that comes from really following your dream and, and really giving yourself that permission. So thank you for being such an incredible example. And it’s, you know, it was just, like I said, you know, I being able to work with just extraordinary women all over the world.

I mean. It, it just, you guys light my life. I mean, it, it just is, this is not work for me. It’s just, it’s truly a blessing. So thank you for being so generous and sharing your story. Thank you, Rosanne, for having me. Thank you so much for helping me and being part of this miracle. Hey loves, wasn’t Myrna just the bee’s knees?

I really hope you take some of these ideas to heart and really get it in your soul that it doesn’t fucking matter. When you come to your dream of being a mom, it is your dream and you get to go for it. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s dream. You can come to it in your own timing and it is just as valid.

Be the woman who’s willing. To go for her dream with all of her heart and you may find a level of contentment and a level of peace that you’ve never known before. That is what is hanging out waiting for you on the other side of hell yes my love. And if you are a hell yes woman who is all about going for her dreams and you want me to teach you what I taught Myrna, My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time with regret. I work with women who are committed to success, just like Myrna to apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for time with me there. My methodology, as you can tell, is how women around the world make their dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy and let’s fix that shit. It’s time for you to set yourself up for success till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the fearlessly fertile podcast.

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you when it comes to your dreams. Keep saying hell yes.

The post EP65 She Discovered 45 Was The PERFECT Time To Be A Mom appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

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