Ever since I started Ex Boyfriend Recovery back in 2012 I’ve been having a war with the scum of the earth (not really.)

Every single day I open up my website and navigate to the comments section I’m greeted with a whole host of comments like this,

Basically it’s a spam advertisement to contact a special Nigerian/Indian spellcaster or a special “psychic” doctor.

Apparently if you contact them they will “assist you” in the most confusing of situations, like a breakup.

Oh, and the only way to contact them is through WhatsApp.

These spellcasters or psychic doctors have even started invading my YouTube channel. In fact, since I posted my latest video to my channel yesterday half of the legitimate comments that people have been invaded by spellcasters,

It’s annoying and the worst part is that I’ve literally blocked all comments that mention Whatsapp or doctors or have any phone numbers in it but YouTube doesn’t give me the ability to do that within replies and so what we get often in our videos is just hundreds of spammy spellcaster responses that I have to manually go in and delete.

So today, I’d like to talk about two things.

How the spellcaster scam actually works

Vs.

What actually works when it comes to breakups

Let’s begin!

I’ve always been familiar of the spellcaster scam. To the best of my knowledge here’s how it works,

Someone claiming to be a spellcaster uses a software or a bot to shotgun a sales pitch all over the web.

It’s a lot like a spiders web in that way…

That’s the first type of scam. Probably the most common one I see. Notice how none of the “spell” involves bettering yourself. Instead, it involves making you feel bad about your “energy” and paying more money to fix it.

But of course, there’s a second scam. One that for some reason people seem to give a pass for.

The psychic scam.

It’s an interesting thought to explore why. I think it’s because general consensus is that psychics aren’t real, they’re just “a bit of fun” but trust me when I say that I’ve seen psychics escalate things in scary ways. I’ve even seen them infiltrate places for sales.

Case in point,

A few years ago when I first started the private facebook group a weird thing started happening.

One person in the group mentioned that they went to a psychic for fun. I’m all for freedom of speech so even though I think psychics are completely bogus I let it slide. Sometimes a psychic for fun can be just that, fun. Not something to be taken seriously. Fast forward a few weeks and someone from the group privately messages me that the original person who posted about the psychic actually works for the psychic and is strong arming people in the group to sign up for her.

Claiming that the results are guaranteed.

That’s where I draw the line.

I’ve long been on record that anyone who says the words guaranteed is full of it. Especially when it comes to exes. With breakups nothing is guaranteed.

But that’s not even why I dislike the scams.

I believe in the law of effort.

You get out what you put in.

The law of effort has never failed me or anyone who has put in the time. I think the problem with our society is that now more than ever we’ve been blessed with the quickest results in history.

This kind of instant feedback conditions us to expect that this is the way it’s supposed to be with every facet of life.

But there are some things that you can’t shortcut.

They all require some level of discipline. You have to do the work and it all starts with your self reliance. Your ability to hold yourself accountable. Your ability to trust yourself.

Falling for a spellcaster scam is all about taking away that reliance. They want you to pay them money because they want you to think you aren’t capable of succeeding on your own.

And the one thing I’ve learned is that if you want to succeed after a breakup you need to rely on yourself.

I may sound like a broken record here but I personally believe the most important thing you can do after a breakup is to outgrow your ex.

That applies if you want to get them back or if you want to get over them.

The first step is always the same.

Have enough confidence within yourself that you will be ok without them.

Most of the people I coach on a daily basis are so desperate to get their exes back that they can’t make it through a simple period of no contact.

My team and I believe this is because the most common client we personally deal with have an anxious preoccupied mindset,

This means they are more prone to desperate behaviors because for them their greatest fear is the fear of being abandoned and it just came true.

But desperate behaviors doesn’t work to get most exes back.

In fact, it’s the anxious behaviors that let people fall for the scams I mentioned above.

Here’s the truth, what you need isn’t to reach out to a spellcaster.

One of the reasons I am adamant about posting my success stories online for everyone to watch is to show you what actually works for real people.

The trend that always develops among them is the same.

They’ll say some variation of,

“It really wasn’t until I decided I didn’t want my ex back anymore that they actually came back.”

In other words, they outgrew their ex.

Obviously it’s a lot more complicated than that but I honestly think that half of the battle with most people is the simple fact that they aren’t willing to take that step because for most people “outgrowing” means giving up but it doesn’t have to mean that.

In my view, someone who has outgrown an ex has knocked them off the pedestal and now views their ex as an equal.

Or better yet, doesn’t even really view their ex as anything but a happy memory.

That doesn’t mean you have to give up.

It simply means you are willing to lose them and it makes all the difference in the world.