When recovering from narcissistic (or sociopathic/psychopathic) abuse, it is important at some point to turn away from the dysregulated partner and turn inward to heal and become whole. A critical part of that healing comes from work done with the wounded, injured child within. It may seem like an insurmountable task, but it is a necessary one. Give her(him) space and time to tell you what they need. It will be the most meaningful friendship you ever have.