From Sobriety To Recovery: An Addiction Recovery Podcast

You have three minds - Reasonable, Emotional, and Wise. Which one you use when a situation, event, or circumstance occurs determines your reaction or response and that in turn triggers a thought which causes an emotion which drives action and creates an outcome.

So yeah, which mind you use most will pretty much determine how you experience your sobriety, addiction recovery, and life.

My interpretation of the "Life Coaching Model" popularized by Brooke Castillo of "The Life Coaching School" podcast.

Circumstance/Event/Situation TRIGGERS a Thought which CAUSES a Feeling which Drives an Action which Creates an Outcome which, in turn, anchors that Reaction/Response to the circumstance that started this whole circle, to begin with. When the anchor is triggered in the future it will likely bring about a similar response as it did the first time.

When this anchor is triggered repeatedly and the reaction becomes repetitive you will find yourself habituated to the response and, well, that's when addiction finds you at your weakest and - well, we know how that ends.

Here are notes from the show about the Reasonable mind, Emotional mind, and Wise mind.

THE REASONABLE MIND: An individual uses the rational part of their mind when approaching a situation intellectually. They will often plan ahead and make decisions based on the facts. The reasonable mind weighs deeply on information and facts, sometimes to the detriment of productivity or effectiveness. The reasonable mind can often become stuck in opinion and debate. It is often uncompromising and likes rules.

THE EMOTIONAL MIND: The emotional mind is used when feelings control an individual's thoughts and behaviours. They may act impulsively and give little consideration to the consequences. The emotional mind doesn't necessarily work with facts, but it generally works on what it believes the truth is, or a perception of truth, or merely a projection of what it thinks the truth might be.

THE WISE MIND: The wise mind is the balance between the reasonable mind and the emotional mind. Where an individual recognises and respects their feelings, but they are able to respond to them rationally and maturely. The wise mind is that place where the reasonable mind and the emotional mind overlap. It's that part of every person that can know and experience truth; it's where the person knows something to be true or valid.

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

Some people thrive in misery. You take away their misery and bring them into the light and they die emotionally and spiritually because the pain and suffering has been their only comfort. The thought of someone loving them and helping them without wanting anything in return could never enter their minds. - Mike Tyson

I do not always have it together, it's like 50/50 most the time. Most importantly, I remember what it was like to use. The misery I felt inside myself. The hate and loathing I laid in bed and grappled with when I had to detox myself.

I am no longer comfortable in that misery. I am a whole new, evolved, version of myself. I know days are hard. Weeks are hard. There is love in my life because I love myself for choosing life - and not succumbing to the death that was so near.

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

Shame is the thought "I am bad," while guilt is the thought "I did something bad." Anxiety is the fear of what will happen in the future. There is a huge difference and knowing which negative emotion you are feeling is key in remedying the trigger.

Keys to remember and use when you feel triggered or are coming out of a trigger & action moment:

You are only responsible for your action

• You can influence their actions but you are not responsible for them.

STEM: Stop, Think, Evaluate, and Move

Evaluate what you did and ask yourself:

• why did I do it

• what will I do then?

Five steps to handle and overcome shame, anxiety, and other negative emotions:

1. Bring shame (negative emotions) into the light.

2. Untangle what you are feeling.

3. Unhitch what you do from who you are.

4. Recognize your triggers.

5. Make connections. (The opposite of addiction is connection)

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

 The article and books I reference in this episode:

**Five ways to silence shame** article from Psychology Today

"Homecoming" by John Bradshaw

"Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer

"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

Your brain can adapt to anything. As humans, we have shown that ability time and time again. Start seeing your perceived failures as feedback opportunities, your perceived successes as steps forward, and the whole journey as a rebuilding of your mental superhighways - because your brain has a plasticity to it that is remarkable in its adaptation scope.

Brain plasticity, also known as neuroplasticity, is a term that refers to the brain's ability to change and adapt as a result of experience. When people say that the brain possesses plasticity, they are referring to the brain's malleability.

You are what you repeatedly do. You have to be consistent to build new neural-superhighways of positive-outcome behaviors.

How do we build experience, skill, talent, and expertise?

• Proper Practice

This is what gets you better because you get to practice - you need to "fail" in order to develop new strategies.

Hippocampus grows because you are building new memories of the practices, perceived failures, and perceived successes.

The right kind of practice builds the right kind of neuron buildup.

When you feel upset by a situation, ask yourself:

How can I handle this to get a positive outcome?

Is this really that important?

Is this going to matter tomorrow? 3 hours, day, weeks, or months from now?

After the fact:

How could I have handled that differently?

It is not acceptable to lose your sh!t over a situation.

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

On this weeks episode we discuss our feelings, forgiveness, and allowing ourselves to pace through them when others so often want to hurry us through both - and, in fact, we have probably hurried others through their feelings and forgiveness process too.

Below is the entire page that lead our group session and is now the theme for this episode

Today I will not jump over my wounds to forgive too soon. It is necessary for me to live with my feelings as they are. When I deny deep pain and anger and push myself to forgive, I keep that pain and anger from ever being healed. I will go into my feelings as they are and give them all the space they need to mushroom, to have their moment, to live inside of me without my beating them to death. Whether or not my feelings are reasonable or good or nice, they are there. Denying them only keeps them alive in a turgid state. Today I let my emotional infection boil up and then in its own time drain and heal.

I let my feeling run their course

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge and dares forgive an injury - E.H. Chapin

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

On this weeks episode we discuss our feelings, forgiveness, and allowing ourselves to pace through them when others so often want to hurry us through both - and, in fact, we have probably hurried others through their feelings and forgiveness process too.

Below is the entire page that lead our group session and is now the theme for this episode

Today I will not jump over my wounds to forgive too soon. It is necessary for me to live with my feelings as they are. When I deny deep pain and anger and push myself to forgive, I keep that pain and anger from ever being healed. I will go into my feelings as they are and give them all the space they need to mushroom, to have their moment, to live inside of me without my beating them to death. Whether or not my feelings are reasonable or good or nice, they are there. Denying them only keeps them alive in a turgid state. Today I let my emotional infection boil up and then in its own time drain and heal.

I let my feeling run their course

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge and dares forgive an injury - E.H. Chapin

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

Always doing your best means you put in max effort without over-extending yourself so much that you slide into a H.A.L.T. zone. When you do your best, and you really, deep down, know you did your best you will keep those negative feelings at bay.

* Agreement #4. Always Do Your Best

• The path to personal growth is paved with self-love, kindness and forgiveness… not criticism, judgment and punishment.

• remember that sometimes your best will be ridiculously awesome. And, at other times it won’t be so awesome.

“Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”

* The Fourth Agreement is the action of the first three, enabling them to become positive habits.

* “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.”

* Ruiz explains it energetically, “If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgment, guilt and regrets.”

• All of us can start doing this right now. Doing our best is enough. Some days our best can look a lot like - not so great.

* “If you do your best in the search for personal freedom, in the search for self-love, you will discover that it’s just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for. It’s not about daydreaming or sitting for hours dreaming in meditation. You have to stand up and be a human. You have to honor the man or woman that you are. Respect your body, enjoy your body, love your body, feed, clean, and heal your body. Exercise and do what makes your body feel good.

** While these agreements sound like they should be common sense, we're all capable of sliding backward and into the grasp of the lower - integrity, humility, and gratitude mindset.

** Being human, our egos - the tranced-out state we can wander off into - all of these examples and more move us away from the positivity of the agreements.

Resisting these 4 agreements leads to disappointment (in ourselves and others,) anger, suffering, and other calamaties that drive us away from our true self - the one that knowingly took this addiction recovery journey.

Being mindful of our decision to follow these 4 agreements permits us the freedom of peace of mind that comes with knowing the best we can do is just the best for right now, or today, and later, or tommorrow - everything can feel, look, and sound differently.

“If you are impeccable with your word, if you don’t take anything personally, if you don’t make assumptions, if you always do your best, then you are going to have a beautiful life.”

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

Always doing your best means you put in max effort without over-extending yourself so much that you slide into a H.A.L.T. zone. When you do your best, and you really, deep down, know you did your best you will keep those negative feelings at bay.

* Agreement #4. Always Do Your Best

• The path to personal growth is paved with self-love, kindness and forgiveness… not criticism, judgment and punishment.

• remember that sometimes your best will be ridiculously awesome. And, at other times it won’t be so awesome.

“Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”

* The Fourth Agreement is the action of the first three, enabling them to become positive habits.

* “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.”

* Ruiz explains it energetically, “If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgment, guilt and regrets.”

• All of us can start doing this right now. Doing our best is enough. Some days our best can look a lot like - not so great.

* “If you do your best in the search for personal freedom, in the search for self-love, you will discover that it’s just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for. It’s not about daydreaming or sitting for hours dreaming in meditation. You have to stand up and be a human. You have to honor the man or woman that you are. Respect your body, enjoy your body, love your body, feed, clean, and heal your body. Exercise and do what makes your body feel good.

** While these agreements sound like they should be common sense, we're all capable of sliding backward and into the grasp of the lower - integrity, humility, and gratitude mindset.

** Being human, our egos - the tranced-out state we can wander off into - all of these examples and more move us away from the positivity of the agreements.

Resisting these 4 agreements leads to disappointment (in ourselves and others,) anger, suffering, and other calamaties that drive us away from our true self - the one that knowingly took this addiction recovery journey.

Being mindful of our decision to follow these 4 agreements permits us the freedom of peace of mind that comes with knowing the best we can do is just the best for right now, or today, and later, or tommorrow - everything can feel, look, and sound differently.

“If you are impeccable with your word, if you don’t take anything personally, if you don’t make assumptions, if you always do your best, then you are going to have a beautiful life.”

Also, please subscribe, rate and review the show to help us spread the word about this awesome free content. Your simple action of rating and reviewing does wonders in helping others find the show.

If you have questions you'd like addressed on the show, want to book me to speak at an event, or want to recommend or be a guest on this show, please contact me through any of the social media links below or via email. Feel free to contact me here for any other reason as well:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jessemogle

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fromsobrietytorecovery

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessemogle/

Email: [email protected]

No one is a mind reader - regardless of what you, your significant other, friends, or family might think. Ask questions in order to communicate clearly about the wants, needs, and desires of all parties involved.

My therapist loves to remind me to speak concisely. She says, "take out 17 words, then respond." So before you speak, ask yourself - are you performing mental gymnastics to get out of a lie, confrontation, or an otherwise lack of integrity moment? If so - don't. No one wins when you try to convince yourself and others of something you know isn't forthright, true, and integrity-based.

Three keys to not making assumptions:

*1. Ask questions

• Are you a mind reader? Assuming you know what other people are thinking or feeling about you is a limiting thought - and serves no purpose in your personal growth, sobriety, and recovery journey.

• The Best way to not ever have to assume? Just ask the person what it is they meant, said, feel, etc. when you aren't sure.

*2. Listen to the answer

• When we try to read minds we will usually get it wrong. This will lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and many other undesirable consequences.

• Give them the space to give you their answer and the consideration to not interrupt.

*3. Be equally open when they ask you questions so they don't have to assume.

• When we communicate in a way that leaves no room for misunderstanding or interpretation we alleviate any space someone would have to assume.

• Make sure you answer their question clearly and completely, without being cagey, so they also get a clear answer to their questions.

This process could feel very vulnerable.

Quotes about making assumptions from:

― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

“In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and think, “How could you do that? You should know.” Again, we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on

• If you assume the other person should know what you want then you are robbing yourselves of the opportunity to bond over the conversation about what you desire from them. Plus, having a manual for how someone is supposed to behave around you and not giving them access to it is just low-integrity and we aren't being that version of ourselves anymore...right?

“Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover control of our story. We see we are the authors and if we don't like our story, we change it.”

• Don't assume, which is making up your own story, because then you give up the power that the knowledge of asking would bring you.

“You are no longer responsible for anyone's opinion. You have no need to control anyone, and no one controls you either... You don't need to be right and you don't need to make anyone else wrong...you are no longer afraid of being rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted...you can walk into the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt.”

No one is a mind reader - regardless of what you, your significant other, friends, or family might think. Ask questions in order to communicate clearly about the wants, needs, and desires of all parties involved.

My therapist loves to remind me to speak concisely. She says, "take out 17 words, then respond." So before you speak, ask yourself - are you performing mental gymnastics to get out of a lie, confrontation, or an otherwise lack of integrity moment? If so - don't. No one wins when you try to convince yourself and others of something you know isn't forthright, true, and integrity-based.

Three keys to not making assumptions:

*1. Ask questions

• Are you a mind reader? Assuming you know what other people are thinking or feeling about you is a limiting thought - and serves no purpose in your personal growth, sobriety, and recovery journey.

• The Best way to not ever have to assume? Just ask the person what it is they meant, said, feel, etc. when you aren't sure.

*2. Listen to the answer

• When we try to read minds we will usually get it wrong. This will lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and many other undesirable consequences.

• Give them the space to give you their answer and the consideration to not interrupt.

*3. Be equally open when they ask you questions so they don't have to assume.

• When we communicate in a way that leaves no room for misunderstanding or interpretation we alleviate any space someone would have to assume.

• Make sure you answer their question clearly and completely, without being cagey, so they also get a clear answer to their questions.

This process could feel very vulnerable.

Quotes about making assumptions from:

― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

“In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and think, “How could you do that? You should know.” Again, we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on

• If you assume the other person should know what you want then you are robbing yourselves of the opportunity to bond over the conversation about what you desire from them. Plus, having a manual for how someone is supposed to behave around you and not giving them access to it is just low-integrity and we aren't being that version of ourselves anymore...right?

“Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover control of our story. We see we are the authors and if we don't like our story, we change it.”

• Don't assume, which is making up your own story, because then you give up the power that the knowledge of asking would bring you.

“You are no longer responsible for anyone's opinion. You have no need to control anyone, and no one controls you either... You don't need to be right and you don't need to make anyone else wrong...you are no longer afraid of being rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted...you can walk into the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt.”