Grief'd Up

"I think it's important to name the feelings that we have as grievers that we think we're totally crazy for. But, like, you're not crazy. Everyone else is thinking these things too.”

In this bite-sized episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos dives into the raw and often unspoken realities of grief. With a background of personal loss, Rebecca—a certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave—shares her insights on the universal experience of grief and the social dynamics that accompany it.

Rebecca introduces two unique concepts: "grief pettiness" and "the pivot." These terms, born from her own experiences, encapsulate the emotions we often feel but struggle to articulate. She candidly discusses the tendency to keep mental tabs on who acknowledges our grief and who doesn't, a phenomenon she dubs "grief pettiness." This honest exploration reveals that many of us are not alone in our feelings of disappointment when expected support doesn't materialize.

The conversation then shifts to "the pivot," a term Rebecca uses to describe the awkward moment when someone reaches out months after a loss, only to segue into asking for a favor. Through humorous and poignant anecdotes, she highlights the discomfort these interactions can cause and offers guidance on how to avoid them. Her advice? A simple message of condolence at the outset can prevent these awkward exchanges and provide much-needed support to those grieving.

Join Rebecca as she normalizes these aspects of grief, encouraging listeners to embrace open communication and understanding. Her stories and reflections offer a compassionate perspective on how to navigate the complexities of loss and support those who are grieving. _____________________________________
Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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“We've all known someone who was sick or at the end of their life or, you know, a family who's grieving, and we've been there for them. That's the work...You just didn't have the title.”

In this thought-provoking episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Darnell Walker, an Emmy-nominated children's television writer, filmmaker, and death doula. Darnell, known for his work on shows like PBS Kids' "Work it Out Wombats" and Nickelodeon's "Blue's Clues & You," shares his unique journey from the bustling streets of New York City to the serene woods of the Chattahoochee National Forest.

Rebecca and Darnell delve into the intersections of grief, children's media, and how we’re all actually  death doulas…plus, if you stick around for the very end of the episode, you’ll hear how pho and grief are inextricably linked.

Darnell opens up about his early experiences with grief and his grandmother, volunteering at a hospice at the age of 12, and how these experiences shaped his current path. They discuss the importance of creating safe spaces for authentic connection and joy, and how Darnell's work in children's television is intertwined with his mission to support communities through storytelling.

The conversation explores the challenges of introducing complex topics like grief and death to children's media, and the need for diverse voices in these narratives. Darnell shares his passion for creating content that fosters empathy and understanding, emphasizing the importance of having difficult conversations with children about loss.

Join Rebecca and Darnell as they discuss the transformative power of storytelling, the significance of representation in media, and how we can all live better by acknowledging our mortality. Darnell's insights offer a refreshing perspective on how to navigate grief and inspire hope for a more inclusive future.

Connect with Darnell Walker:

● Website: darnellwalker.com

● Instagram & Twitter: @hellodarnell

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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"It hurts so much more now that I'm in my 30s than it did when I was 10 or 13, because I just had no idea."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Zanab Jaffrey, Introduced to the world on Netflix's hit show “Love is Blind”. Zanab opens up about her journey through grief and love when she wasn’t looking for it.

Together, Rebecca and Zanab explore the intersections of grief and new relationships, sharing how Zanab's boyfriend became an unexpected beacon of joy in her life.

Zanab recounts the serendipitous moments that led to her meeting her boyfriend, and the surprising connection to her father's cologne. Through laughter and tears, they discuss the complexities of dating while grieving and how Zanab finds comfort in signs (or "unexpected chickens.”) from her parents.

The conversation delves into the importance of having a partner who can hold space for grief, Zanab's emotional experience as the Maid of Honor at her sister's wedding, and how she continues to honor her parents' memories.

Join Rebecca and Zanab as they discuss how joy and loss coexist, offering insights into how grief shapes their lives and relationships, and they laugh and cry together.

Connect with Zanab Jaffrey:

● Instagram & TikTok: @zanabjaffrey

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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“It's really hard to know what's normal, what's out of bounds, what's weird…that can turn into self critical thinking of, ‘I should be doing better,’ ‘I should be doing this,’ ‘I should be doing that.’ It's easy to fall into this trap of thinking that we're grieving wrong. And when you have a sounding board of six other guys who give it to you straight, it's clarifying.”

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Dr. Justin Yopp, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor at the University of North Carolina, to explore the unique challenges faced by widowed parents. Dr. Yopp, known for his work with the UNC Comprehensive Cancer Support Program, shares his journey from working with children and adolescents to supporting parents who have lost a spouse or partner.

Rebecca and Dr. Yopp delve into the origins of his groundbreaking support group for widowed fathers, a project born from the realization that such resources were virtually nonexistent. Dr. Yopp recounts the emotional journey of starting this group, the powerful connections formed among its members, and the unexpected lessons learned from the men who participated. Through candid discussions, they explore the complexities of grief for men, the societal barriers they face, and the importance of creating spaces where they can openly share their experiences.

The episode also touches on the broader implications of grief support in the healthcare system and the potential for change. Dr. Yopp shares insights from his research and the impact of these support groups on his clinical practice, offering listeners a glimpse into the transformative power of community and understanding in the grieving process.

 Join Rebecca and Dr. Yopp as they challenge misconceptions about grief, particularly for men, and advocate for more inclusive and effective support systems. Their conversation is a testament to the importance of finding connection amidst loss.

 Connect with Dr. Justin Yopp:

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"Unexpected chickens are a sign from my dad. And I swear, I am a normal person."

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos shares her unique perspective on finding signs from loved ones who have passed. Rebecca, who experienced profound loss at a young age, opens up about the signs she receives from her late parents, particularly her father, whose love for chickens has manifested in unexpected ways since his passing.

Rebecca recounts the heartwarming and humorous story of how chickens have become a symbol of her father's presence in her life. From a chicken crossing the road the day after her father's death to spotting chicken-themed art in unexpected places, these moments have brought Rebecca joy and a sense of connection to her father. She also reflects on the more serious signs she attributes to her mother, who she believes has watched over her during life-threatening moments.

Throughout the episode, Rebecca explores the difference between signs and reminders, and how these symbols can provide comfort and meaning amidst grief. She candidly discusses the potential dangers of seeking signs too eagerly and the importance of finding balance in interpreting these moments. Rebecca's insights offer listeners a relatable and comforting perspective on how to navigate grief and find solace in unexpected places.

Join Rebecca as she dives into the whimsical world of unexpected chickens and the power of personal symbols in the grieving process. Her stories and reflections encourage listeners to embrace their own signs, whatever they may be, and find joy in the small moments that remind us of our loved ones.

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Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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"You can't put your grief in a drawer, no matter how much we wish we could just lock it up."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos invites Andrea Ramirez, the Senior Director of the Care Team at Empathy, to discuss the often overlooked intersection of grief and the workplace. Empathy is a company dedicated to supporting families with both the emotional and logistical challenges that accompany the loss of a loved one. Andrea, whose career has been rooted in caregiving and support, shares her insights on creating a grief-aware culture in professional environments.

Rebecca and Andrea delve into the complexities of grieving while maintaining a professional life. They discuss the misconceptions about grief in the workplace, such as the unrealistic time limits often imposed by bereavement policies, and the need for more flexible and humane approaches. Andrea emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive environment where employees feel seen and validated, encouraging open conversations about grief, and the necessity of self-advocacy for those navigating loss.

The conversation also explores the role of Empathy in providing comprehensive support to individuals and families dealing with loss. From logistical assistance to emotional guidance, Empathy offers a "grief concierge" service that aims to demystify the grieving process and provide ongoing support beyond traditional bereavement leave.

Join Rebecca and Andrea as they challenge the status quo and advocate for a more compassionate approach to grief in the workplace. Their discussion offers valuable insights for managers, employees, and anyone interested in fostering a supportive work environment.

Connect with Andrew Ramirez:

● Website: empathy.com

● LinkedIn: Empathy on LinkedIn

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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"Give yourself time. The ideas will come back… If you're stressed that your creativity is gone, it will come back, definitely."

In this thought-provoking episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Marie Claude "MC" Marquis, a Montreal-based multidisciplinary artist whose work spans visual arts, graphic design, and installation. Known for her unique approach to art, Marie Claude’s creations are inspired by vintage objects, pop culture, nostalgia, and contemporary feminist perspectives. Her art has been exhibited across North America and Europe, making a significant impact, especially within the grief community.

Rebecca and Marie Claude delve into the profound intersection of art and grief. Marie Claude shares her personal journey with loss, particularly the passing of her mother, and how it has influenced her artistic expression. They discuss the challenges of maintaining creativity amidst grief and the healing power of art. Marie Claude opens up about her experiences with different art mediums, from oil paintings at age six to her recent work with typography on plates and tapestries.

The conversation touches on the complexities of grief, the coexistence of happiness and sadness, and the evolving nature of creativity. Marie Claude’s candid reflections on her life and art provide listeners with an intimate look at how grief can both stifle and inspire artistic expression. Her insights offer hope and encouragement to anyone navigating grief, whether through art or other means of expression.

Join Rebecca and Marie Claude as they explore the transformative power of art in the grieving process and the importance of allowing oneself time and space to heal and create. Marie Claude's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring connection between art and the emotions it evokes.

Connect with Marie Claude Marquis:

● Instagram: @marieclaudemarquis

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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"Life is going to keep on lifing as we grieve, and we can hold it all at the same time. Let's hold our grief in one hand and this desire to move forward in the other. Let's name it as grief and face it head-on."

In this powerful episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos takes a deep dive into the unexpected grief surrounding the recent election results. As someone who has faced significant personal losses, Rebecca opens up about the rage, frustration, and disappointment she feels with the political landscape, particularly the re-election of Donald Trump. She candidly shares her journey from a non-political family to becoming a politically active citizen, driven by a desire to help others through public service.

Rebecca reflects on her first encounter with election-related grief in 2016 and draws parallels to her current emotions, likening them to the grief she experienced during her divorce. She discusses the anticipatory grief leading up to the election and the profound sense of disconnection she now feels with the American identity. Rebecca emphasizes the importance of sitting with these feelings and understanding them before rushing into action, a lesson she has learned from past experiences with loss.

Joining Rebecca is Commissioner Nida Allam, who shares her personal journey of grief in politics, from losing a congressional race to the current election. Nida discusses the added layer of fear and grief she feels as a mother, fearing for her children's future in a divided country. Together, they explore the tension between acknowledging grief and the urge to move forward, highlighting the need for more good people to run for office and create change at the grassroots level.

Rebecca and Nida's conversation is a poignant reminder that grief is not linear, and it's essential to hold space for both grief and hope. They encourage listeners to acknowledge their grief, connect with others, and take action when ready, emphasizing that we can hold it all simultaneously.

Connect with Nida Allam:

● Instagram: nidaallam.com

● Website: @nidaallam

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

● To Listen to Rebecca’s episode on the loss of her mother click HERE

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“Every time I think I've seen one more expression of grief, I see one more after that. I think I've learned to expand my vocabulary and the room that I create in my heart for what grief looks like, and I think that's one of the things that makes me hopeful.”

In this heartfelt episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos, is joined by JS Park. JS, a hospital chaplain and author of "As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve" and "The Voices We Carry," provides a unique perspective on navigating grief, faith, and emotional health. With his extensive experience serving at one of the nation's top-ranked hospitals and a major nonprofit charity for the homeless, JS brings invaluable insights into the complex world of grief support.

Rebecca and JS explore the often-overlooked role of a chaplain, particularly in high-stress environments like hospitals. They discuss the intersection of faith and grief support, and whether it is possible—or even necessary—to separate the two. JS shares his experiences of providing spiritual care without imposing religious beliefs, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe space for all, regardless of faith background.

The conversation delves into the challenges faced by healthcare workers dealing with constant exposure to trauma and loss, highlighting the importance of support systems like Code Lavender. JS opens up about his personal journey with grief, the impact of cultural traditions, and the significance of ritual in grieving. He also addresses the societal pressures to "move on" from grief and the need for intentional mourning practices.

Join Rebecca and JS as they navigate the complexities of grief, the role of faith, and the importance of community in grieving. JS’s compassionate approach and profound understanding offer comfort and guidance for anyone grappling with loss.

Connect with JS Park:

● Instagram: @jspark

● Threads: @jspark

● Facebook: JS Park

● Twitter: @jspark

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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"I am proud to fly solo these days. I'm proud to be single and I am grieving. Both of those things are true.”

In this heartfelt episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos delves into the complex emotions of being single and the grief intertwined with it. At 35, Rebecca reflects on her journey from being a serial monogamist to embracing her single life, while grappling with the lingering grief of the life she imagined but never had.

Rebecca shares candid memories of her childhood, marked by her mother's battle with brain cancer and the loneliness that followed. She explores how these early experiences influenced her relationship patterns, leading her to seek companionship as a way to fill the void left by her absent parents. Through therapy, Rebecca uncovers the deep-rooted connections between her grief and her relationship choices.

Join Rebecca as she recounts a recent trip to Maine with her sorority sisters and their families, where she confronted her feelings of solitude amidst the joy of companionship surrounding her. With vulnerability and authenticity, she discusses the pride she feels in choosing to be single and the simultaneous sadness for the life she doesn't have. This episode is a poignant reminder that it's okay to hold space for both pride and grief, and that we are never truly alone in our experiences.

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!