Grief'd Up

"We don't do enough to tell people that it really sucks. It's really hard. You could've done everything right, and you're still left without them."

In this enlightening episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Tracy Wheeler, the Executive Director of End Well, a pioneering nonprofit at the intersection of end-of-life care and cultural change. With a rich background in fashion marketing, Tracy shares her journey from leading international marketing teams at Ralph Lauren to transforming how we perceive and discuss end-of-life experiences.

Tracy shares the origin story of End Well, founded by Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, and its mission to humanize end-of-life experiences by bridging the gap between healthcare and cultural narratives. They discuss the power of storytelling in media to reshape societal perceptions of death and dying, emphasizing the role of content creators in fostering a more nuanced conversation around these topics. 

And Rebecca and Tracy explore the connections between fashion and grief. They delve into the significance of visible mourning traditions, like wearing black armbands, and how these customs facilitate communal support and understanding. Tracy recounts a personal story of road rage and the desire for a visible sign of grief, highlighting the importance of grace and empathy in everyday interactions.

Join Rebecca and Tracy as they navigate the complexities of grief, the transformative power of storytelling, and the importance of community in facing life's final chapter. Tracy's insights and experiences offer invaluable perspectives for anyone grappling with end-of-life issues. 

Connect with End Well:

● Website: endwellproject.org

● Instagram: @endwellproject

● YouTube: Endwell Project

● Register for the upcoming End Well event at https://whova.com/portal/registration/endwe_202411/. Drop the code GRLEW24 in the discount code section for 20% off general admission. 

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

“When you grieve, you always say, could I have done something differently? And, I don't know. I like to think that I did everything I could. Would that have prevented something? Would he still be here today?”

In this sporty episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes the multifaceted Shane Battier, a two-time NBA champion, Duke University legend, and advocate for mental wellness. As a professional speaker, advisor, and investor, Shane brings a wealth of experience and all kinds of insights.Their conversation focused on the often-overlooked intersections of sports and grief.

Rebecca and Shane dive into the profound grief that accompanies transitions, such as Shane's retirement from a 13-year NBA career. Shane candidly shares how he grappled with the loss of his athletic identity and the unexpected challenges he faced in the aftermath. They explore the unique grief that athletes experience, not just in losing games, but in losing the camaraderie and structure of the sports world.

Shane also opens up about personal losses, including the sudden death of his brother, Jeremy, from CTE-related complications, and the passing of his father during the COVID-19 pandemic. He discusses the importance of community and connection in navigating grief, emphasizing the evolutionary need for support from others.

Join Rebecca and Shane for an enlightening conversation that challenges the misconceptions about grief in sports and life. Shane's insights into professional grief and the power of vulnerability offer valuable lessons for anyone facing loss.

Connect with Shane Battier:

● Podcast: Glue Guys

● Instagram: @shanebattier

● Foundation: Battier Take Charge Foundation

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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"Grief is a group project."

In this (surprisingly?) funny episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Laurel Braitman, a bestselling author, speaker, educator, and trailblazer in the field of medical storytelling. Laurel's work at the Stanford School of Medicine's Medical Humanities and the Arts program and her global community of writing healthcare professionals, Writing Medicine, has inspired countless individuals to find healing and mental wellness through storytelling.

Rebecca and Laurel dive deep into their shared experiences of losing parents at a young age, going through divorces, and the unique challenges they faced while trying to outrun their grief. Laurel opens up about her journey of coping with her father's terminal illness from the age of three until his death when she was seventeen, and how her mother's death during the COVID-19 pandemic added another layer to her grief.

They discuss the concept of "grief math"—the constant recalculations grievers do as they compare their own ages and life stages to those of their lost loved ones. Laurel shares how her coping mechanism of overachieving was a way to avoid her difficult feelings and how she eventually learned to confront them.

They also discuss dating and grieving...quite a bit.

Join Rebecca and Laurel as they explore the multifaceted nature of grief, the power of storytelling, and the importance of community in navigating loss. Laurel's insights and experiences provide invaluable perspectives for anyone grappling with grief.

Connect with Laurel Braitman:

● Website: https://www.laurelbraitman.com/
● Instagram: @laurel_braitman
● Books: “What Looks Like Bravery” and “Animal Madness” _____________________________________
Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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"I think that's what a sudden death does to you. I think it changes you to your core. Like, there is nowhere that my love for my dad can go anymore. And so I just, like, feel like I spill it out all over the place all the time."

In this powerful Part 2 episode of Rebecca’s Grief'd Up origin story, host Rebecca Feinglos dives into the story of her father's unexpected death during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Unlike her mother's prolonged illness, her father's sudden passing left Rebecca grappling with a new kind of grief, one marked by shock and profound loss.

Rebecca shares her close relationship with her father, recounting their deep bond and how his death on March 14, 2020, coincided with the world shutting down. She reflects on the challenges of navigating this devastating loss during a time when traditional mourning rituals were unavailable, forcing her to confront her grief in isolation.

This episode also explores how her father's death became a catalyst for change in her life, leading her to re-evaluate her marriage and ultimately make one of the most difficult decisions of her life. Through her story, Rebecca offers listeners an intimate look at how grief can upend our lives but also create opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Tune in to this heartfelt episode for a deep, honest conversation about the unexpected goodbyes that change us forever.

Connect With Us:
● Website: Grieve Leave
● Instagram: @grieveleave

"I'm very proud now to say that I'm a caregiver, and it's a large part of my identity. It's not the only part of my identity, but it's a large part of it. And I'm grateful to hold that title."

In this heartfelt episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Jessica Guthrie, a visionary leader reshaping how we talk about and see what   caregiving looks like and feels like. Jessica shares her deeply personal journey of caring for her mother, Constance, who has been living with Alzheimer's disease for the past ten years.

Rebecca and Jessica delve into the complexities of caregiving, especially as a young millennial balancing a professional career with full-time caregiving responsibilities. Jessica opens up about the emotional and physical toll of caregiving, the challenges of navigating this role as an only child, and the profound bond she shares with her mother.

They discuss the evolution of Jessica's identity from a high-achieving professional to a dedicated caregiver, and how she has embraced this role with pride and intentionality. The conversation also touches on the importance of community, the power of living and grieving out loud, and the need for systemic changes to support caregivers better.

Join Rebecca and Jessica as they explore the realities of caregiving, the impact of the pandemic on their journeys, and the importance of preparing for life after caregiving. Jessica's story is a powerful reminder that you are not alone and that there is strength and community in sharing your truth.
 

Connect with Jessica Guthrie:

● Instagram: @careercaregivingcollide

● Website: jessicacguthrie.com

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

“I've still never seen Avatar."

In this powerful episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Annie Sklaver  Orenstein, author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourners Guide to Grief. Annie shares her  deeply personal journey through the unexpected loss of her brother, Ben, who was killed by a  suicide bomber in Afghanistan in 2009.  

Rebecca and Annie discuss how sibling grief is often the least recognized form of familial grief.  They highlight the concept of "forgotten mourners" and discuss why sibling loss is rarely given  the same attention as the loss of a parent or child. Annie opens up about her close relationship  with her brother, and the profound impact his death had on her life. She describes the unique  challenges she faced as a sibling mourner, including the lack of resources and support available  at the time. 

Annie talks about the role of community and connection in her grieving process and how writing  her book became a way to not only process her own grief, but also to help others who are going  through similar experiences. She also shares her process of blending personal narrative with  research in her book, offering a comprehensive guide for those grieving a sibling, and provides  insights into the lack of research on sibling loss. 

And, yes, they talk about Avatar. You’ll just have to tune in to find out why…

Connect with Annie:
● Instagram:@anniesklaverorenstein
● Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief by Annie Sklaver Orenstein —
Available wherever books are sold.
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Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

“At my core, I am happy. Because I know what it feels like to be desperately f***ing sad.”

In our latest episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Amber Jeffrey, the celebrated podcaster, community facilitator, and grief mentor behind The Grief Gang. Amber shares her powerful journey of navigating profound loss, beginning with the sudden death of her mother in 2016, and how this catapulted her into a world of grief and eventually led her to create a supportive community for others experiencing similar pain.

Rebecca and Amber delve into the complexities of grieving without the support of a maternal figure, the challenges of seeking mental health support, and the transformative power of community. Amber opens up about her initial struggles with traditional therapy, her decision to start The Grief Gang podcast, and the unexpected growth and impact of her platform, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The conversation also touches on the cultural differences between the UK and the US in handling grief, the generational shift in grief literacy, and the importance of creating a more grief-informed society. Amber's candid reflections on resilience, the role of community in healing, and the intersections of parenthood and grief offer invaluable insights for anyone navigating their own grief journey.

Join Rebecca and Amber as they explore the deep emotional connections we have with our lost loved ones and the unique ways we can find support through sharing our stories and building community.

Connect with Amber Jeffrey:
● Instagram: @thegriefgang
● Website: thegriefgang.com
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Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

"Welcome to our second date."

In this deeply personal episode of Grief'd Up, Rebecca Feinglos shares her journey through multiple losses, introducing listeners to what she calls her "grief buffet" - experiences that shaped her life and led her to become a certified grief support specialist.

The heart of the episode centers on Rebecca's mother's diagnosis when Rebecca was just five years old. Through a poignant letter written by her mother, listeners get a raw glimpse into the family's struggle during that first-year post-diagnosis. This powerful document serves as a springboard for Rebecca to explore the subsequent eight-year period of her mother's illness and its far-reaching impact.

As Rebecca narrates her childhood, she vividly describes the transformation of family dynamics and the challenges of caregiving. Her story captures the essence of a young girl striving for normalcy while grappling with the harsh realities of serious illness and impending loss.

Rebecca reflects on how this experience reshaped her understanding of loss and her approach to grief. She also touches on the changes in her father's life following her mother's passing, highlighting the ripple effects of loss on the entire family unit.

Through sharing her journey from a child dealing with profound loss to becoming a grief support specialist, Rebecca illustrates how grief, though universal, is often a topic we avoid confronting.

Whether you're dealing with grief yourself or trying to help someone who is, this episode shines a light on what it's like to live with someone facing a prolonged illness, and eventual loss.

Connect With Us:

● Website: Grieve Leave

● Instagram: @grieveleave

“There’s no one way to be a death doula.”

Welcome Grief'd Up, the podcast that dives deep into the conversations no one wants to have, but everyone will need to…eventually. 

Today we are joined by your host Rebecca Feinglos and her wonderful friend Jamie Thrower. Jamie is a queer death doula, end-of-life educator, and the founder of Queer Grief Club, an activity-focused grief support meetup group dedicated to reimagining grief spaces for LGBTQ individuals.

In this episode, Jamie and Rebecca explore the profound and often misunderstood role of a death doula. Jamie shares her journey into this unique vocation, starting from her personal experiences with loss at a young age. Jamie helps to cover the various ways death doulas support individuals and families, from handling daunting paperwork to facilitating meaningful end-of-life conversations.

Jamie provides invaluable insights into the intersection of creativity and death, the importance of preserving legacy, and the challenges faced by the LGBTQIA+ community in bereavement and end-of-life care. Rebecca and Jamie also discuss the concept of a "good death" and how death doulas can help ensure that individuals feel empowered and cared for in their final moments.

If you or someone you care about is navigating the complexities of grief, this episode is a must-listen. Join us as Rebecca and Jamie break down the misconceptions about loss and learn how to show up for each other in the most challenging times.

Bonus: this episode features the expert commentary of Rebecca's dogs, Daisy Duke and Ralphie. Make sure to listen for it.

Connect with Jamie Thrower

Website: jamiethrower.com

Instagram: @queergriefclub

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Follow for more resources:

Instagram: @grieveleave

Website: grieveleave.com

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“Resiliency is totally bullshit.”

Welcome to another episode of Grief'd Up, the podcast where we get real about grief. In this episode, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with her friend, Erin Levine. Erin is the founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, and a certified family law specialist with over a decade of experience as a divorce attorney and mediator.

Erin shares her journey from being fed up with the inefficient and adversarial divorce industry to launching Hello Divorce, a platform that transforms how people navigate divorce by providing accessible legal help and other support. Erin's work in improving access to justice has been widely recognized, including awards from the American Bar Association and Congresswoman Barbara Lee.

During this conversation, Rebecca and Erin explore the deep intersections of grief and divorce. Erin also talks about her personal experiences with grief, including her recent battle with breast cancer, and how her community of clients has provided unexpected support and inspiration. They discuss the importance of treating people as human beings in complicated situations, and how a grief-informed approach can make a significant difference in the divorce process.

Bonus: this episode features the expert commentary of Rebecca's dogs, Daisy Duke and Ralphie. Make sure to listen for it.

Connect with Erin Levine

Email: [email protected]

Website: Hello Divorce

Instagram: @hellodivorce

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Follow for more resources:

Instagram: @grieveleave

Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!